There’s no good way to title this, is there? · 12:23pm Dec 18th, 2020
Hey all. So, it’s the holiday season. You know what that means? Seasonal depression and spikes in the suicide rates!
Crude, dark humor aside, I’m writing this to admit that I don’t think I want to write fanfics anymore. I just haven’t been in the headspace to write them, less and less people are reading them, and overall I’m just unhappy. With a lot. However, with that said I know there’s several unfinished stories of mine so let me briefly tell you of “what could’ve been” if I actually finished them:
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The Rubble Kings of Klugetown: You all don’t know how badly I wanted to write this story. Everything was planned out. Avon and Spike were going to Klugetown, which would have been analogous to the impoverished neighborhoods of America. It was specifically modeled after the documentary, Rubble Kings, which I watched specifically for this fic. Avon would’ve met two warring gangs, one being the Absynnians led by Capper himself, and the other being Diamond Dogs lead by an OC named Bandit. The story would revolve around Avon and Spike settling the beef between the two gangs by doing what happened in the documentary. Avon would have created a dancehalls and introduced the concept of breakdancing, rapping, basketball, graffiti art, and all things commonly associated with black culture. By the end, the gangs would’ve united to help rebuild Klugetown and give it a culture of its own.
Now, why didn’t I write this? To be perfectly honest, I quickly realized the time investment this would take. And then I considered just how many people would actually read it. I know I make a guffaw about writing what’s fun and not really caring if these stories are well received or even received at all, but deep down, I had gotten a taste of actually getting noticed with “Anon’s Friendship Lesson”. So, knowing that I peaked early with that story, I lost all motivation to work on this story. So, a single chapter it will remain, a fantasy kept to one’s self.
Anon, The Cuddle Slut: Origins and Season 1: Here is the point where I ran out of steam, if we’re being honest. Origins wasn’t even supposed to be an “origin” but it’s own story. Here’s the sit’ch: Avon was meant to become the PG equivalent of a pornstar. Deadass. The whole point of the story was that cuddling and sex were analogous of each other, just like Klugetown was analogous for the Hood. Avon would’ve been a cuddle prostitute, serving clientele, both mare and stallion, in order to make a living in his Ponyville life. This, as comedy should, would’ve escalated into him filming cuddling videos (which Trixie would’ve had a hand in) and eventually becoming an adult star sought out all across Equestria. The climax of the story would have him publicly retire from the cuddling business and resort to cuddling in private, effectively returning to the status quo.
While this story was always meant to be a slightly raunchy comedy, it also had a secondary, weirder purpose. I wanted to tackle exploitation, specifically black exploitation in porn. We all know the joke that is BBC. Well, the working title for the story was Big, Black, Cuddler. The idea was that Avon, as a human, was being objectified and worshipped for his cuddling ability and not who he was as a person or why he even engaged in it. Ponies would develop an inaccurate ideal of what humans were and Avon would become self-conscious of his worth again.
But, then I got sidetracked, then scared of how that story would be received, so I relegated it to a one shot. Season 1 was then just supposed to be a bunch of random cuddlefics, but I just haven’t felt motivated.
The Filly Fatale Folly: This story was meant to follow Avon as he tutors Diamond Tiara, who’s going through a stage of wanting to be romantically involved, but having no one to call her own. So, she attempts to make Avon her boyfriend, who is having none of it. Meanwhile, Avon tries to dodge advances from Spoiled Rich for much of the same reasons. Essentially, Avon confronts both infidelity and underage relationships in a household that is on the verge of breaking. Ultimately, he would rebuke Spoiled Rich and explain to Diamond Tiara the reasons why they can’t be together and what Diamond Tiara is looking for may not be what she thinks it is.
Much like Cuddle Slut, this story had another issue I wanted to take a shot at. I don’t even have to say it, do I? You see, there are a lot of smut fics where you have an Anon where he is pursued by a filly for...sexual reciprocation. However, I wanted to write a story where it wasn’t a loosely justified clopfic, but a story that treated that subject matter with more nuance, both comedically and dramatically. However, over time I realized that I felt uncomfortable and unprepared to really tackle this like I thought. Nothing like child exploitation to really make you burn out and let sleeping dogs lie.
Your Eyes On Me: This story follows someone completely separate from Avon, but carries much of the same DNA. Officially, I referred to him as The Journalist. He discovers he’s being watched by the My Little Pony cast, only to find out that he actually has a past connection with them. The Mane 6 come to view the Journalist as something akin to a nephew or even their collective child. Over the course of the story, they’re revealed to be a little more unhinged than they let on. The end of the story has what is meant to be a civil resolution, only for the Journalist to get sucked into the show.
The planned sequel would then follow the Journalist as he is held captive in Ponyville. The Mane 6 would all be different flavors of yandere, but never of the violent sort. They just have an unhealthy love of the boy. Meanwhile, the mysterious organization from the first story makes contact with Equestria in an attempt to retrieve the Journalist. All the while, the Journalist is conflicted between the two worlds he’s been a part of. The story ends with the Journalist rebuking both worlds and retreating into the Everfree Forest to make peace with himself.
I thought this would be the story to break me out of the funk. For a while, it was. But, again, idea bloat, lack of an audience, and personal issues. Of all my stories, I hope someone gets inspired by this one and does what I couldn’t. But that’d be asking a lot for some rando on the internet.
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So, yeah. I’m sure this comes off like one of those people who make their profile picture all black and say “leave me alone” in their bio. I don’t blame you for taking it like that. But so many creators just up and vanish these days (DWK being a recent example that’s personal to me) that I feel like I just gotta explain where I’m at. I don’t want pity. I don’t want any “farewells” or “things’ll get better” because those are, let’s face it, empty platitudes that are prerequisites in this fandom. These stories were stories about self-discovery and expression nothing more. And I have nothing I want to express anymore.
I’ll still be posting the comics and doodles as I make them, if I make them. But I am violating the unspoken contract in which I provide stories and entertainment for the 216 followers watching me.
And for that, most of all, I’m sorry.
Happy Holidays, and thanks for giving this dumbass a year of your time.
Honestly, it's awful nice of you to offer all these 'what if's and 'here's what would've happened's...most of the time we get nothing!
And just to make EVERYTHING that much better: pastebin just got nuked. Years of greens gone in the blink of an eye...
and another one bites the dust
you thank me for the time i gave, but i still feel like you stole it
Thank you man for everything, your adaptation of Avon (that's right FUCK "Anon") will always be the best amongst hundreds Ive read.. your stories were fun and made me fall in love with the show and this site. (Sorry I'm stubborn)
Take care man and goodbye
And as always, You are forgiven
Wa Alaykum As-salām
thanks for the heads up, and hope to still catch your doodles.
It's been an honor, sir.
Wow. Cool ideas! Thank you for sharing them! I’d have no idea how to tackle those. I’m impressed that you were ready to give it a shot. If you get another interesting idea, I would find it wonderful to hear about it.
Perhaps perquisites and not prerequisites, eh?
And I must say, Aurora has the right of it. You are forgiven.
5417547
Yeah, I understand how you feel. If it makes you feel any better, it was only your time I stole. Not your money, culture, or beliefs. Silver linings?
5419440
money can be made back, culture and belief can't really be stolen
5419456
Those last two absolutely can be stolen. There are such things as cultural genocides. Think of all the city-states and civilizations lost to time?
Anyway, that’s not the point. Point is, I wrote fanfiction. Now I don’t. And I’ve always stressed that it was for me and everyone else was along for the ride. Now, the ride’s over.
And if I truly wasted your time, I can’t really accept that that’s my fault. I’m one guy, held at the whims of whatever life throws at me. I feel like this was a necessary decision. So, yeah. Sorry.
5419461
just wanna make it clear, i'm not bitching, just mourning
5419498
It’s all cool. I just don’t think I needed mourning. My best writing has been done and hopefully my comic ambitions take off. The world is doom and gloom, but we don’t have to be.
5419500
would you be willing to adapt your old stories into comics
5419505
That’s the plan. Comics are closer to my true passion, so that’s partly why I decided to quit. I can’t, and won’t, make promises, but at least I’ll be building multiple skills for the career path I want.
5419507
dank
rock on then
Aw man, I was really hoping those fanfics would be completed.
This is a severe blow but I can understand your rationale. Thanks for the good times and good luck.
Very fair; I wish the best of futures to you, wonderful and shining with opportunity and connection. Glad you were here to write when you were. Wishing you good times ahead :)
Sad to hear, but remember, MANY download those and read on their eInks. I for one do. Statistics do not reflect that.
Hope you're stick around anyway, even if there will be a distinct lack of new stories.
Cheers, mate!
5419507
So you aren't going to stop completely? That's good to hear, I really do enjoy uour writing.
5421342
Comics is the way I wanna go and even with the Race Relations adaptation, I’m making a few revisions. So, it’s not a true goodbye, just a see ya later.
I just hope I can find your newer works, in whatever form they may be. Sadly I'm not the most privy to social media, blogospheres, and whatnot. I'm not the best at finding the content I want to read, but I really, really like what you create. I hope you will leave something that can point us in the direction to where you are making newer content in the future (should you choose to do so)!
But more importantly, I want to say that you don't need to apologize. I imagine that it must be incredibly exhausting sometimes to work your muse to create the works that you make. I, at least, respect that effort and dedication and hold no regrets or long-lasting sentiments of ruefulness; you can't rush perfection and as a human being life sometimes takes you on a course that changes your desires and motivations. I want to say thank you for at least sharing what you've created.
Take care of yourself, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year.
*sips hot chocolate* So "You're Eyes On Me" is up for grabs now. Yeah I wouldn't mind rewriting/finishing that story. *Cracks knuckles* Just give me some time and I'll write something.
5427276
Consider it a challenge, my good man/woman/non-binary homie.