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At the End Commentary: Chapter 14 · 8:54pm Nov 26th, 2012

This entry contains spoilers for its corresponding chapter of At the End. Be warned...

<--Previous Chapter Commentary *-* Next Chapter Commentary -->

Curse these ponies, they drive me to drink.

This chapter took an astonishingly long time to write, despite me having a script for it. The major plot points weren’t a problem: meeting Lyra, meeting Barricade, introducing the Crafter/Abaddon connection. No, the real problem was the flavor text. Any writer worth their salt can write a scene, but the devil is in the details, and that’s my problem here. The idle chatter with Lyra, the background Crafter talk in his fight, the presence of the storm; I needed all of that and I had a real hard time writing it all.

When I started At the End I set out to create Fluttershy’s Run from the start. I needed that storm, because I set out with the explicit goal to trick my audience into believing what was chasing her was an Endermen. The entire storm was an elaborate trick. I left two clues for clever readers to discover. The first was the height differential. I stated that the figure following Fluttershy was twice her height. Endermen are about nine or ten feet tall, well over twice the height of a pony. The second was the rain. If you are familiar with the lore, Endermen can’t stand the touch of rain. Then how was it in the storm? The question was further answered in this chapter. There is more going on than you truly know.

Although you don’t know it, there was a deleted scene right after the Crafter meets Lyra. He meets “The Emperor,” the entity in the ninth chapter. I really wanted him in there, but when I examined the scene as objectively as I could, I felt that it’s inclusion was not necessary anymore. This will be my fourth deleted scene because of that.

Also, and I didn’t expect this, the moon bit seems to be a running gag. I did not expect that. I also did not expect the Crafter to become the Deadpan Snarker he is. This is good. It shows that the world is affecting him, changing his perspective and outlook on events.

I also did not expect how useful the Lyra and Bon Bon angle would become. My very early drafts for At the End had him in the middle of the second arc and getting along with the ponies just fine. There was a problem with that: if you entered any world ever through a portal of hellfire, would others believe you had good intentions? Sure, there’d be some, but would your get off Scott free? Will there be no lingering doubts about your honesty or benevolence?

Lyra has a fascination with the Crafter merely due to his alien nature. Bon Bon, seeing her mate threatened, is fearful of him for the same reason. The Crafter is rather benign, but that does not change the fact that there was justifiable cause for the ponies to act fearful of him. THat’s something I needed, because I did not want the Crafter to become a Mary Sue. There are those like Lyra who would give him a chance, those like Barricade who will beat the shit out of him, and those like Bon Bon who will be afraid simply because he is different.

I was going to use other Night Guards, or possibly even have Lieutenant Chaser break free of Doctor Hemos’ clutches. It’s a good thing Barricade was wearing her cloak. You’ll see why in two chapter’s time. Knight Mysterio, great guy, really, allowed me to use Barricade, so I didn’t have too much of a problem on that front. Honestly, I asked NM for Barricade’s use for a very specific scene I have in mind. “Dude... I need Barricade to do that. I have to have her.” You’ll have to wait to find out what it is.

And if you’re worried about where the Wither is or Endy, we’ll see them both again. One of them will be very soon. There are very good reasons why both are hiding.

Some of you might be wondering about what’s the deal with Abaddon and the Emperor as well. Well, I have a meeting very soon planned that will give you some of those answers.

Place your bets:
The Emperor

Which one will you survive the longest?

Also, don’t ruin your life.

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Comments ( 5 )

The wither hands down.

Screw you for linking me to TvTropes.
I'll be trapped in an endless daze of information and random facts for the umpteenth time.

This comment pleases me.:coolphoto:

Your avatar is my favorite thing I've seen all week.

Don't ruin your life.

Oh I don't worry about it ruining my life, that already happened years ago.

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