Patrilineality Chapter Meet Our Father

So, one of my friends, Bezier Ballad, brought to my attention that the chapter of Patrilineality, Meet Our Father, could have been done differently. She had a good point, saying Metamorphosis probably should have seen Ember and Tempest as possible threats. So I tried rewriting it on docs, and Bezier was right that it worked much better. So I've replaced the original chapter with the rewrite. Let me know what you think, and if someone wants the original chapter back, I can consider posting the original on another blog or as a separate story. That's all for now.