Things Couldn't Be Worse (Song) · 12:30am Aug 31st, 2022
Original Song: Campfire Song by The Lightning Thief: The Percy Jackson Musical
Key:
Hero
Griff
Ocellus
Melody
Smolder
Sandbar
Thorax
All
“Come on! Grab some food, and let the cider flow!”
“Why is everyone scraping part of their meal into that fire? The food here isn’t that bad, is it?”
“They’re sacrifices to the Princesses. It’s not good enough that they’re omnipotent and all-powerful, they need to feel appreciated. To the Princesses, everyone!”
“To the Princesses!”
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
When your mothers run the universe!
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
When your mothers run the universe!
My mom is Luna
She stops the bad dreams
With her cutie mark as a moon of rings
I give myself nightmares, and it always stings
Oh no~
Oh no~
When your mom is a Princess, your life gets tough
I met the mare once, that battle was enough
“Ocellus?”
My mom is Twilight
So smart and so wise
Devoted to reading, not so much to guys
If she ever showed up, I’d be surprised
Oh no~
Oh no~
Also, my stepmother hates me while my dad walks away
So I left forever, and here’s where I stay!
“Wait, is that true?”
“Everybody!”
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
When your mothers run the universe!
Oh, things couldn’t be worse!
When your mothers run the universe!
“Who’s next?”
“Oh, um, let me try!”
My mom’s Applejack
Princess of Crops!
She’s most excited when harvesting won’t stop
But when you farm forever you just want to drop!
Oh no~
Oh no~
“Yeah!”
For their eighteenth birthday my friend got a guitar
But I got a seedling in a dumb jar!
“Oh! Oh! My turn!”
I’m child of Fluttershy
Princess of Nature
For those in the wild, she caters to thee
But if you’re her child you might as well be a tree!
Oh no~
Oh no~
She left long ago to explore wild frontiers
Still no one has seen her, and we all shed a tear
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
When your mothers run the universe!
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
When your mothers run the universe!
“Huh… hey Thorax, who’s your mom?”
“Oh, um…”
I’m a son of Chrysalis
Remember the story?
She killed her children
“...Thorax wins.”
“Mhm… yeah…”
"His mom's definitely the worst..."
“Er… what about you, Smolder?”
The Princess of Love~
My mom is Cadenza
She tries to be sweet, but she’s mostly a floozy
I’ll bring home a girl and she turns Jezebel
Oh no!!!
“It’s so frustrating, guys!”
I tried to seek help from some of the greats,
She steals my dresses and all of my dates
“Alright Hero, your turn.”
“Heheh, no, I think if I tried to sing I’d cause a rockslide or somethin’-”
“Come on! We’re all friends here, give it a try.”
“O-Okay…”
My da was named Valor,
He was in the army
He loved telling stories-
“U-Uh, you’re doing it wrong.”
“Yeah, come on, who’s your divine mother?”
“Oh… I don’t know.”
“It’s okay. A lot of us never discover who our divine mother is. Just do your best.”
…So my mom is a Princess
That’s cool, I guess
Was I just unplanned, or did she not want the stress?
It’s too bad she’s terrible, and made my life a mess
Oh no!
Oh no~!
Well I hope she shows up, with all of her grace!
Cause I have a few swears to shove in her face!
Oh, things couldn’t be worse!
When your mothers run the universe!
Ohhh, things couldn’t be worseee~
But I don’t care who our mothers may be!
As long as you’re all here with me!
We don’t care who our mothers may be!
As long as you’re all here with me!
As long as you’re all here, with me~!
So context: I found the original song and came up with an idea for an AU where Celestia, Cadence, Luna, and the Main 6 are divine beings known as Princesses (Because they're alicorns. Get it? Get it?). They're not perfect, and have relations with regular creatures, creating offspring known as Divine Bloods, who in turn call them their Divine Mothers. The Princesses typically don't reveal themselves to the creatures they mate with, and abandon the children to be raised by their mortal parent after they're born. However, they have a place for the children to go that protects them once they start attracting beasts sent by the Princesses' enemies (Tirek, Sombra, etc.). It's a camp concealed by magic known as Camp Divine Blood, which is run by Thorax and Pharynx, children of Chrysalis, a villain, who helped to defeat her. Hero is new to this world and is thus being introduced to the Princesses...interesting parenting tactics.
Let me know if you'd like to actually see this AU as a story!
5683039
Yay!
Let’s gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song—
Oh wait, wrong song
Yes
5683042
Huh?
5683048
Okay!
5683060
If you'd like an OC to borrow for it, let me know via PM.
5683060
Spongebob joke. Couldn’t resist
5683061
I'll keep that in mind, thanks
5683062
Ah. Well, what did you think?
5683064
It’s quite an interesting concept. Makes me wonder how many other sons and daughters could exist in this universe
5683062
Don't forget to draw an anti sea bear circle.
5683066
On it!
5683065
I've already come up with some others, actually. Apex, Zenex, The Pillars, and Sunset Shimmer, to name names
5683069
Sweet! The possibilities are endless!
5683070
Heh, yep
Hero and I technically have been writing out the story together (since it features his sona as a main character) so maybe someday soon you'll see it, and get to know the other Divine Bloods
5683072
Why didn’t you say something sooner?
I’m kidding btw
5683073
Heh, well, not sure if we'll publish it at the moment, but if you're really that desperate I could give you viewer access to the doc sometime
I think we'd fine-tune the world first though.
Or maybe we could chat in the PMs about the characters and plot?
5683074
Nah, it’s alright. Don’t worry about it.
If you ever wanna chat about it, or about anything in general, hit me up when you’re in the mood
5683075
I would actually love to tell someone else about the AU cause I've told Hero all my ideas already. Plus it's been forever since you and I had a decent convo. Maybe tomorrow?
5683077
Sure thing! Take your time
5683078
Alright then!
I would definitely read a story based on this AU!
5683149
Cool!
Imagine having alive parents! Ha..Haha...Ha.
5683192
Yeah...
5683203
...Maybe burning the village to the ground wasnt a good idea...
5683206
Um...