Did you pass grade 14?

Then perhaps you can read this sentence:

I feel that this is a better sentence than Hemingway is giving credit. It says a lot in so little. But the app wants 5th grade sentences, or even lower. This sentence is perfect in almost every way; no passive voice, a lack of complexity, an almost bland presentation... yet it is only good and no better. For some reason, so many of my short sentences are post-grad, or college grade. I don't know why. It is maddening, really, because I have yet to determine how or why these values are assigned. This is a perfectly good sentence. Yet, it is not a good sentence. It is implied that it could somehow be better.

Writing is wretched.

This is exactly why writers drink.

Comments

[A.P.O.N.I.]

This is exactly why writers drink.

The are so many reasons for a writer to drink; why pick just one?

[kudzuhaiku]

5263307
syfy.com/sites/syfy/files/styles/1200x680_hero/public/body_snatchers_ending.jpg

A semicolon!

[TheAncientPolitzanian]

Hemingway's practices may prove beneficiary for some, but personally, I find it far more fulfilling to disregard his cries of disapproval and write as lavishly as I deem fit. Mind you, within reason, of course.

[A.P.O.N.I.]

5263309

[Shadow Watcher]

I prefer to make my readers think. I don’t deliberately do it, but after reading the entire dictionary as a kid...I just use the words I know. And since it was an older dictionary, I often use vocabulary that goes over most people’s heads. So don’t go out of your way for it, but I say screw Hemmingway (I have a respectful disdain for that man) and use what sentencing you desire and wish. Make us think. And I especially say use words that people have to look up. Cause if they aren’t learning, then they aren’t living.

[terrycloth]

It's a pretty confusing sentence with a garden path.

[Rocinante]

I assume that is is about a pony named Dark Clouds and the he need to get to a bathroom rather quickly.

[DragonMaus]

I would contend that deliberately reducing the "readability score" of your writing is not good, unless you are writing for a very specific target audience.

Reading is great for growing and challenging the mind, but only if it is a bit out of the reader's comfort zone.

[kudzuhaiku]

5263585
All of the NYT's bestsellers of the past few decades have been single-digit grade level.

To get published as a writer, one must be able to consistently crank out low grade level work. And this is a good way to train yourself to do just that.

[Eroraf86]

See this.
See this shit.
See this, see?!
This shit is stupid.

[DragonMaus]

5263598
Aye, there are certainly an entire host of good reasons to write for the lowest common denominator. It's just frustrating for me to see some of the market pressures associated with the "dumbing down" of our species.

[Herald of Opera]

5263307
5263309
Ooh, some fellow semicolon advocates; just yesterday I mentioned in a text how underrated they are. (The context is that, in the process of typing a text message containing a semicolon, I noticed that they weren't on the initial page of punctuation, requiring a total of three screen presses to place one.)

[A.P.O.N.I.]

I noticed that they weren't on the initial page of punctuation, requiring a total of three screen presses to place one.

What? That's outrageous. They're one of the basic units of punctuation.