A Crap Recap of: Papers Ponies and Attitude (Anon’s past) · 1:46pm Apr 14th, 2020
Alright, so it all starts in December thirty first, 2019 on Human Earth. A human named Anonymous is a nineteen year old who just got broken up with by his ex, who took his shit and moved out. His dad was of no help and he gets teleported off into Equestria because of an experiment by Twilight Sparkle, who did this to prove that she didn’t need friends. However, Celestia was not amused or as impressed as Twilight had hoped. Celestia didn’t want to deal with the human (mostly due to his language) so she sent him with Twilight.
Equestria is relatively close to Earth’s time frame, but ten years behind. Thus, he was brought into Equestria in 2009 (or 20IX, because for some reason, ponies used Roman Numerals for the last two digits.) Anon proceeds to be in the background of pretty much every MLP episode, while still having small adventures of his own.
For a good four years, Anon had his own house at first, but it burned down on accident because of Twilight. He quickly met Zecora the zebra before anyone else. They got along great because they were both immediately outcasted by the ponies. It is now that Anon realizes ponies are just racist, except Derpy, who he made friends with fast. He wasn’t entirely a friend of Applejack’s since he saw her as more of a boss than anything else since he worked under her to pass time. He did make friends with Fluttershy since she was the first to be okay with the fact that Anon ate meat. He hated Rarity because he just thought she was a high class bitch, he had mixed feelings about Twilight, he was scared of Pinkie, he couldn’t give two shits about Rainbow Dash, and most of Ponyville just never felt at ease with him due to his personality. He kinda made friends with the Cutie Mark Crusaders after a couple years of being in Ponyville. Daring Do met Anon while he was lost in the Everfree at one point, but she got on his bad side because she accidentally left him to fend for himself because she thought that by telling Twilight to check out some temple, she’d find her friend. Twilight was never told about Anon being in danger, so she took her time, allowing Anon a full twelve to twenty four hours of quality survival time.
Meanwhile, Luna attempted to befriend him during Nightmare Night, and got somewhere, though not as close as Derpy or Zecora. Later, Discord meets up with Anon during his short free reign the first time he was released. Anon was not amused by his antics. Even more later, Anon babysits Dinky during the Canterlot Wedding. Anon was told of the events of the wedding by Applejack, but it was pretty much as meaningful as pissing in the wind. Much much later, Anon witnessed Discord being reformed by Fluttershy. He labels it as one of pony-kind’s many mistakes, along with their version of hotdogs and pony-bootleg movies and brands. Even more later, he witnesses Twilight becoming a princess, to which he labeled simply as ‘worse.’ Now, keep in mind, him and Twilight aren’t enemies or anything, just acquaintances. Anyway, so Anon’s house burned down at some point and he moves in with Twilighr, living in the library since there were apparently no houses available for him. By the way, if you think I forgot about Sombra, I didn’t. Anon just didn’t give a shit about that event. Anyway, so Twilight’s house gets fucked later on by Tirek. When Discord betrays everyone Anon just yells ‘Called it!’ From somewhere in the distance. Next, Anon puts in a request to Celestia for a new house, to which he’s ignored. Thus, he moves in with Twilight again. He kinda met Starlight Glimmer around a couple months after the others did, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care about her. Yeah, she sounded nuts, but he just kinda stopped caring and figured the others will deal with her eventually. Then they did. He still didn’t care. Anon literally hid from Twilight during Flurry Heart and the Crystalling since he just didn’t want to deal with that shit. Then he actually managed to sleep through the second invasion attempt by Chrysalis. Time passes, Anon witnesses Twilight saving Starswirl, says she probably shouldn’t, proceeds to tell Twilight ‘I told you so’ while simultaneously bitching at Starswirl to be a bit more grateful.
After a bit of time, before Twilight’s Friendship School opened, Anon is run out of town because of a combination of misinterpretation by Spike’s sign and senseless fear. Anon packs his bags and walks for about a day along a rail road until a train stops and he gets picked up by Applejack. Applejack knows him well enough to know that he needs space, so she helps him get to Manehatten. Applejack also tries to help him settle down in Manehatten. It is also around this time that Whiskey Bacon starts up her bar, which is mislabeled as ‘Whiskey’s Hay instead of Whiskey’s Bay. Soon, Anon takes up a job at Bit-Tree, to pay for the shittiest apartment ever. About five months later, Anon realizes his paycheck isn’t cutting it, so he quits and tries to find another job. About two or three weeks later, he’s broke, starving and decides to just get some bread at a store. However, the store misspelled most of their items, as well as bumped up the pricing since Princess Celestia was visiting for cake. Due to his attention to detail and rising problems in the local Border Checkpoint, Celestia decides to offer Anon a job for a bet. He took it since he pretty much had nothing else to do. Thus, that starts his wonderful career as a passport inspector.
He not only proved himself to be more capable than most ponies, he proved to have a strong force of will with simultaneous flexibility. Basically, he gets shit done the right way while not being a complete dick about it. He moves from an apartment to a literal shack. Due to his work’s pay and how little he makes mistakes, he manages to get back into a better standard of living. Meanwhile, he meets Spearhead, who is stern and loyal to his duties. Anon also meets Lucky Runner, the manager of the Checkpoint, who is stern and confident to her work. Anon proceeds to deal with the day-to-day tasks of stamping papers and dealing with terrorist attacks.
He also deals with a cult started up by Cozy Glow, who wanted to wreak havoc after failing her first plan and escaping Tartarus. Anon stops this plan and the border closes for repairs while ponies in Canterlot decide whether or not to replace Anon due to the fact that he’s not a pony.
And congrats, you’re caught up to when Equestrian Border Checkpoint starts, back when even I didn’t know what the background was.
I really appreciate everyone that takes the time to read my story, even though it’s not really that impressive compared to others. I remember when I didn’t have any real structure to this story. I literally just kinda threw it into the air and see how it flies. Little did I know that I would soon have at least a thousand readers, enjoying my story. Little did I know, that soon, I would personally grow with this strange, rude, and yet practical character. Little did I know that this same character would have this much background, development, and love from the readers. Like, at first, I honestly thought that he’d just pass as ‘another angry Anon’, a character I could kind of vent through and express various things I get frustrated with. Hell, when people started to express how they related to Anon, I had never felt so... It’s kind of hard to describe. It’s not pride, it’s not entirely joy... It’s almost like being able to relate to someone, I guess. However, I wanted to give up quite a few times. During the War Arc, I kept wanting to just stop, and leave it unfinished. I was constantly terrified of the reaction I could get from various things. I scrapped quite a few chapters, and I felt horrible for one specific chapter since I kept rushing it and screwing it up. Whenever I fumbled or messed up, I really wanted to just stop writing entirely for that story.
However, I kept going. I don’t entirely know why I kept going though, but I at least figured out one reason. You. Yes, you, faithful reader. When I posted a chapter, I’d see the comments. I have read every single comment that everyone made. It always helped me feel better, to see both the positive and critical comments. The comments that questioned me brought me happiness, because that assures me that people do seriously enjoy it and are invested in it. It just... It makes me happy to know that I made something people sincerely like. It makes me happy to know that people are interested and are waiting for the next step or chapter.
Then, here we are. The final arc. It absolutely terrifies me. This is the arc that will be the end for this story. The secrets yet to be revealed, the people to be introduced, the people that need to reap what they sowed, everything. However, what scares me more than anything else, is that I might screw it up. I’m scared that I won’t make a good enough ending, where everyone is content with where it leaves off. I’m scared to leave the characters unfulfilled or unfinished.
But you know what, I made it this far. I can’t stop now, and I won’t stop. The next chapters will be longer, they’ll probably take more time, but they’ll be longer.
With that, I’ll see y’all next time. Peace my dudes!
No don't end it
Awesome backstory! Appreciate the time you took to write it up. I admit I've been dreading this story ending because it has been a fun one to follow.
Ive had fun with it. Hope you have as well.
Hopefully, it'll explain the ponies complete 180 from hating Anon to hating Twilight.
It's a good story mate, I'm looking forward to reading more of it.
Don't worry, if you mess up the ending that bad, you can always fix it in the sequel. ...
Anybody see what I did there? No? ...
either way this story's a fun ride.
Yellowtail, I have two things to say, thank you, and your welcome. Thank you, for all the hard work you put into this story, thank you for making a story that is (somehow) both funny and serious, both complicated and simple. You made a story from nothing, absolutely nothing, and it worked, it worked beautifuly. Thank you for staying with this story, and turning it from a one off project, into an art piece, than never failed to make me smile. and, your welcome, because while your interesting characters, your amazing writing style, and the story in general kept us reading, we kept you writing. All the loving comments and critiques, all the questions and the answers, they kept you writing, because it let you know that people loved your story, your personality, everything about you and your works. So, thank you, and you're welcome.
P.S. and if you do mess up the ending (which is highly improbable), there's always the sequel...
I love this story. It gave me a lot of laughs, and the war arc had involved a lot in this. This is one of my absolute favorite portrayals of anon, one that shows him as a likeble asshat at first, that slowly progresses into showing him as a really good guy. A guy with a girlfriend, good home, good friends and family, etc. A common story of success done uncannily well. I think that what helps this story the most is that anon stays fairly level-headed througout the story. Nothing seems to go to his head. I genuinly love anon in this story. Few other fanfictions have given me such a bond to a character. Thank you, yellowtail, for blessing us with this work of art. I hope its ending is fitting to this story, and i wish you luck as you end this, as i know from experience that endings are the hardest part of a story to get right.
I like to think that Anon is the best Border Inspector because he doesn't give a shit about the beings that pass through his checkpoint. If their papers are in order, he lets them through. If not, he'll point out the problem and if the being acts rationally, he doesn't care. If they act irrationally, well, that's what the crossbow is for.