Magisight: Chapter 26 + Misc Info + Feedback Requested · 4:55am Dec 10th, 2019
Haha, I'm terrible at putting these out on time.
Where to start? This was a fun chapter to write, since like 25, it is wildly different from the draft. A few ideas from the draft made its way into the final version, but the entire flow and structure was re-written from the ground up. For starters, the last 105,000 words were written just an excuse to make my "The Rainbow & Dash room" joke.
I kid, I kid. I hope you guys have been enjoying my fun little pretties that have decided to join Twilight and Rainbow Dash in the factory. Even my editor and proofreader were spooked by the weather golems, calling them "absolutely horrifying." I'm quite proud of how they turned out, since I normally don't write things that dark. Having something twisted, but also non-pony, to go against them was really enjoyable, as it allows me to flex creative muscles without putting myself into an uncomfortable spot. For those that know me personally, I don't care for violent or dark fanfics involving the ponies. I'm quite squeamish about it, and barring a few specific exceptions, I generally do not read them. My writing tends to reflect this.
While writing the scenes, I wanted there to be some clever or unique ways to dispatch them that didn't involve simply blasting them with a laser spell. The original draft of Twilight destroying the bottled weather with a blast of pegasus magic was heavily modified by my editor, so mad kudos to him for helping me to sort that out. Originally, Twilight used a laser spell to slice the contents of the containers open. He believed I was relying too much on unicorn magic through this arc, to which I agreed. He helped re-write the scene to expand on pegasus magic and make it more exciting. 
Regarding other topics! The song for Cloudsbane is still being worked on. My composer is working on a piece for a Secret Santa exchange (and I am working on a short story for it as well), but it will be ready soon(tm).
For the terminology tweaks I talked about in the last blog entry... I'm still undecided. I might make minor adjustments to some of my earth pony chapters, I might not. I keep going back and forth on it. Currently, I am leaning towards leaving it as-is, but we'll see. They're not going to be major changes, just little tweaks to improve consistency. Maybe. If I make any changes, I'll make a post about them.
ALSO, I am considering tweaking the title of the fanfic. My editor spoke with me for a while today, and, after thinking about it for a while this morning, he is of the opinion that the subtitle of Thaumaturgical Ocularity might be off-putting to newer readers. His concern is that someone browsing might see the title and think "oh look, another fic where Twilight goes into big jargon-filled expy dumps," which is something I've tried very hard to avoid except for key scenes. His other criticisms are that I play somewhat fast and loose with the strict definitions of "thaumaturgy" and "ocularity." His points are all 100% valid, and I don't entirely disagree with them, but I like the title, haha. I also have personal reasons for choosing the term "thaumaturgy" but, I digress.
Such a conundrum. One solution is to remove the subtitle and simply call it Magisight, but I feel the title lacks punch without one. Still, there is a certain charm to a simple title, as well. If I were to change it, something else like "On the Nature of Pony Magic" might work as a subtitle, but I think it's a bit wordy. It conveys what I want to convey, but it's not succinct. Obviously, I don't want to put anyone off of my story, but titles are super important at snagging someone.
What do you guys think? Do you think the subtitle Thaumaturgical Ocularity is too nonsensical or pretentious? Does it evoke a sense of mystery and curiosity? Or will it turn away potential readers? I'm undecided, and am curious what you guys think. Please, let me know!
May the stars shine until the end of your journey!
-PK
I actually started reading it because of the weird title. It was snappy, and a bit clever in the naming. I say keep it
I rather like the title, it sounds like something Twilight would have come up with. Besides. it's right there in the cover-art, bit late to be making changes...
I found that the title is what first made me consider reading this, as it sounded like a interesting title that might belong to a epic tail of discovery and knowledge.