Techie's SPICY Smokin' Toasted Self-Roasted Reviews #10: [The Wielder of the Orb]! · 6:22am Oct 9th, 2019
Oh. We're already on the first reboot?
So this darn diddly thingamabob was actually a 4-way collab of sorts. Story died when everyone else lost interest, as collabs do. It's why I don't normally do them anymore.
Anyway, let's get right into it.
Darkness.
She felt like she was floating in a vast sea of darkness, she could not move, or see anything. She only existed. Then in the distance a prick of light appeared, it seemed to come closer. She felt the floor under her feet, she was in some sort of mansion. There were windows, but the only light that existed came from the “Orb” in front of her. The Orb, she could feel energy radiating from it. Pure power. The Orb called to her, pulled at her. She wanted to take it, to use the power it held for her own desire, but that thought scared her. It scared more than anything ever had before. It could not be right, all that power, just sitting there for any pony to take. It had to be some sort of elaborate trap. And yet, she walked towards it, there was no way for her to stop. She reached out a hoof and touched the smooth surface of the Orb, energy crackled, filling the room and then-
Huh. This actually fits pretty well with my current writing style, though the latter is obviously gonna be a bit more refined in comparison. That's neat.
her little brother, Juniper Glow,
Oh yeah, I forgot he existed! Hi there, throwaway OC!
Nightshade stood up, and began making her way towards the door, her saddlebag filled to the brim with various papers and trinkets, though most of it was on botany and chemistry.
Interesting thing here is that Nightshade was supposed to still be in grade school in this story. In the second reboot, she's way up in college.
“Ugh!” Groaned Lightning Rod. “You really could’ve said that in a less uh… suggestive manner…”
Once again, lemme pull out the good ol' lennyface.
( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡• )( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡• )( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡• )
Suddenly, she noticed that Nightshade and Lightning Rod weren’t there. “Huh,” she grumbled, “I wonder where they went.”
Oof, ouch, awkward moment.
“Um… Lightning… I mean, Electro, I have a question.” stated Nightshade.
Oh geez. I forgot that I gave Lightning Rod a nickname in this story.
Obviously, the shack itself was far too small to actually hold an entire laboratory.
Or is it?
“Of course this is safe.”
Famous last words!
“So... Shady,” He began, “Do all unicorns feel like their insides have turned into a magical pinball game?”
Why yes, yes indeed. Why else do you think so many villains have been unicorns?
Allow me to introduce myself… I am Anicetus, or at least, what’s left of his uncorrupted soul. The Orb is in great danger, and through years of searching, I have come to believe that you may be one of the best choices…
Hey, it's me, ya boi Anicetus. Guess what? He's not just the villain this time.
I shall grant you your power over the Orb, in the same manner as the Wielders before me have done so. In this symbolic act, I shall transfer the possession and therefore, the power of the Orb through the many realms of the multiverse, to you. When I return you to your proper realm, you shall find the Orb in it’s basic physical form nearby. Take haste, for these may be my final moments among the livi--
The image of Anicetus began disintegrating, starting at his feet.
Lightning nodded blankly, his fragile mind already blown out several minutes prior due to Nightshade’s description of the Orb’s supposed link to the Multiverse.
Somebody get a mop, we've got another mindblow here!
The dial on the scale turned. “Four point two pounds,” read Lightning. The scale shifted. “Twenty point two pounds.” The scale shifted again. “Five pounds….six point nine...sixteen point eight. What the hay is going on?” The dial kept shifting, faster and faster. Lightning reached out to the orb. ZZZTTT! “Agh!”
ZZZTTT!
“Rejected”
>When you get rejected by even inanimate objects
Lightning shook his head. “It says that we’re invalid.”
I'm half sure at this point that Lightning Dust was written to be the dumb one.
“Anicetus? But… aren’t you dead?”
I was, but I am no longer. The Orb must keep a portion of every wielder’s soul protected within itself. The others in here lie dormant, while I, being the most recent, serve as the main voice.
Hecc.
That smell? It is simply the aroma of the wielder I replaced. They lived in a garbage heap at the time of death.
A face of disgust made it’s way onto Nightshade’s face.
“And you just left it here?”
I do apologize for that but I am unable to do that due to the fact that we’re all trapped in this place.
Somebody probably beefed in there as well.
Indeed not. That petty scum of a being stole my body. The moment he defeated me, he immediately took full control of my handsome body, leaving me with-- with this!
#AnicetusWasAHandsomeBoio
Eventually I’ll wither away to the point of becoming a being of pure conscience. Hey Stan, get over here and meet the new wielder.
A large can suddenly appeared beside Anicetus.
Stan, I’ve told you before, can you please stop appearing that way?
The soup can trembled as a massive can opener floated above it. With an anticlimactic ‘pop’, the can opened up.
It's Soup Can Stan! I remember writing him!
Also, colored text immediately after that bit.
I have never thought of that before. You, out of everyone in here - myself included, likely understand more of the Orb than all of us here put together. Tell me, how did you know that?
Main Character syndrome! Yay!
“Hey Shady, get up!” shouted Juniper as he repeatedly jumped on Nightshade’s chest, “Mom’s already made breakfast for you.”
Nightshade groaned as she swatted her brother off. “Ok, I’m up.” She said groggily.
Alright, this is creepy similar to the way I started the first chapter of Pony-Me's original fiction adaptation.
Nightshade glared at her brother. “You looked under my blanket while I was sleeping?!"
“Don’t worry. I didn’t look there.”
So many ( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡• )( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡• )( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡• )( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡• )( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡• )
This may or may not be the last chapter uploaded for a while, since I'm moving soon.
And then I never touched the story again. :P
You should continue this story sometime, it looked really interesting (not as a colab)
5134538
- MLP: FiM
- Adventure
- Comedy
- Sci-Fi
A story that just about dumps one of the characters in its cover art and turns from a comedy into a fantasy adventure. Nothing much.5134557
Forgot about that