Stories I Almost Wrote, #8 · 12:34pm Apr 18th, 2019
And here's the second one I haven't touched in years. Rest in peace, Love Biting.
Notes/discarded scenes!
---
Slamming the door to his chambers, Blueblood snorted in annoyance.
"What has gotten into them lately?!"
The royal gardens used to be his favorite place in Canterlot, an area of the castle he could practically call his own. The grounds were reasonably expansive, plenty of room to find peaceful solitude even during Grand Galloping Galas, the most crowded night of the year. Perhaps it was somewhat wasteful that hardly anypony else ever strolled through the gardens, but that just made it feel all the more his, like he was in his own little pocket dimension where papers and ponies didn't matter, free to just drink in the atmosphere of the place without a thought spared for work or the noisy city just beyond the walls.
It was perpetually pleasant, a well-paid pegasus team ensuring that the weather was never off-putting even when rain was needed, gentle winds felt in one's mane for that soothingly cool touch, and the whole area was beautiful year-round. The plants were the primary reason for that, so many varieties of exotic tree and flower that Blueblood could only tip his hat to the gardeners that kept such an ecosystem alive, more-so with all the animals. The fauna had, in the past, always been an essentially negligible detail of his walks through the gardens, but many of them were a majestic sight just the same, even if they typically kept their distance from those that traversed the area.
Typically kept their distance.
That was what made his recent visits so jarring, he could hardly go anywhere in the gardens without some of them following him around now, mainly the felines! That damn bobcat kept running between his legs, brushing up against him and disheveling his fur, but that didn't begin to compare to the tiger. It was a full-grown jungle cat, one Blueblood had always treated with quiet respect, but now it had come up to him twice and licked him! It was ridiculous! There were others, a hummingbird that insisted on flying just in front of his face, a monkey of some kind that might have been stalking him from the trees, and a snake he'd almost stepped on a few times.
Was there a change to the castle staff, recently? Somepony that used to spend time with the animals that has since ceased? I think I'd have known about it were that the case, but it's possible whatever the beasts had for company simply found something else to occupy their time. I'll have to ask the gardeners if anypony else tends to those creatures, as I'm not sure I can stomach their attention much longer!
...Did they smell Fluttershy on him? The thought drew uncomfortable degrees of heat to his face, as he'd been nearly certain to have cleaned himself up before even leaving her cottage the other day, and had been bathed a good few times since. He wasn't sure it would have made sense anyway, because memory depicted the animals fleeing in terror when she drew near, so if it was her they were picking up, the reactions should have been exactly the opposite.
Well, that certainly wasn't to say that Fluttershy was some kind of ravenous beast as she appeared to be at the Gala (and more recently, but nevermind that), but one would forgive the creatures of the gardens for forgetting that. He knew better, however, having shared a bit of polite conversation over a cup of tea toward the end of his last visit. That was when he'd been surprised to learn that it wasn't always a complete madhouse in Ponyville, wasn't monster attacks and pandemonium every single day, nor even every single week.
Every month, though. As far as most of the town was said to remember, not a month had passed in which nothing had-
Regardless, he thought back to their talk.
"Would you say then, that, if anything, this town could be called 'peaceful'?"
Fluttershy smiled warmly. "Of course! I could never keep so many delicate critters here if it was always chaotic."
"Hm..."
He was only mildly disappointed not to have encountered Mr. Bearington to discuss the sea-pony/kelpie distinction.
Anyway, she had a point, really, Fluttershy's mere existence in that town was proof positive that it couldn't be as bad as he'd always thought. Then again, she was the one who tamed Discord, so pinch of salt.
I wonder how she's doing?
---
"So how's the new garden area comin' along?"
"Oh, it's still in the early stages, Applejack," Fluttershy answered with a smile as she, Rarity, Twilight, and the farmer enjoyed a picnic under a tree not far from her cottage, "though it's still a little too soon to expect much growth." She was a little sad that Pinkie and Rainbow couldn't join them, but the map had called them off to Griffonstone for today.
She hadn't expected the spot she and the animals had dug up to amount to anything more than a slightly embarrassing story (which she played off has just having been part of a general panic attack) to tell until the grass grew back, but the suggestion to plant things in the fresh soil seemed as good an idea as any.
Twilight, who had come to feel much more at home in her castle since the six of them redecorated, cast a wary glance in the garden's direction. "Just as long as the gardening stays in the garden."
The others just giggled. Discord was certainly enthusiastic about planting some otherworldly vegetables, but Twilight had had a good, long talk with him about not wanting a repeat of the Plundervines. Or anything that even vaguely resembled them, in form or function.
"Speaking of farming run amok," Rarity turned to Applejack, "good work with Miss Daisy Jo and the others yesterday."
"T'weren't nothin'," she replied with a proud grin, "ol' Mooriella apparently saw 'nother snake, and, well... Least Ah didn't need to use the ropes this tahm."
Fluttershy twitched, but couldn't tell if the others noticed. A split second of panic passed when Twilight opened her mouth not to ask, but to share trivia.
"I'm sure you would have been gentler about it than ponies in the past. I read several accounts of how cows were treated as second-class citizens in Equestria hundreds of years ago, that tying them up, sometimes very tightly, to keep them in line wasn't uncommon, to say nothing of branding. In more extreme cases, they were fitted with blinders, or even viciously whipped to maintain dominance!"
Tightly closing her mouth, Fluttershy tried her best to hold perfectly still under the assault of tantalizingly horrible mental images, grateful that nopony was looking at her at the time.
---
And the rest is notes!
---
AJ shudders, saying she couldn't imagine treating anyone like that, that it just sounds barbaric (Flutters may note in her head that her friends would definitely not approve if they knew). Rarity (though she's vaguely familiar with S&M, even if she doesn't practice it herself) nods a little, saying that worse than that, there was a time ponies were on the fence about wearing the hides of dead cows as an example to those that weren't cooperative, that they got the idea from a pre-King-Grover Griffonstone, where things were... brutal. The idea of synthetic leather rising some decades later may have done something for the world of fashion, but still. (Then they notice Flutters looking very uncomfortable, sweating and shaking and looking away.
All three share a look and immediately apologize, saying they should have known a topic like that would bother her. Flutters has to think for a second to realize her fantasizing made her forget the suffering of those poor cows for a second, but does her best to wave it off.
When she gets home, she notes (possibly by talking to Angel, who's eating a carrot like Groucho Marx with a cigar) that she'd have to be an awful pony to be aroused by the thought of what happened to those cows, that she feels like she needs to be punished. Line from Angel, Flutters is glowing. "N-NOT LIKE THAT!!"
(then her mind wanders as she explores the thought of Blueblood doing to her what cruel farmers did to those cows, that maybe if she suffered through it herself, she'd be a little more empathetic. When she comes to, the sun is down and Angel is tapping her leg while wearing the little nightcap Discord gave him, indicating that it's time for bed. Flutters wonders if BB is getting this distracted.
(He isn't, because doing that kind of thing with a pretty mare is nothing new for him, but he does get little reminders of her, perhaps just in the contrast of the noisy city vs. the serene quiet he remembers from her cottage. Plus, animals keep bugging him, if only by birds landing nearby (though they're easily frightened away) when he's out in public, maybe have someone's cat rub against his leg. Maybe he decides to swing by just to make sure she didn't curse him? If she doesn't come out with it, he notes that he has ways of making her talk...
He finds some reason to go to Ponyville again, noting to anyone who asks that he's been challenging the rumors surrounding the town lately, that so far, it's actually quite pleasant. Maybe he practices an invisibility or disguise spell for when he's moving around in Ponyville before living there, that officially speaking, he always visits on business just in case he's spotted, but still likes to go unseen by the time he reaches Flutters.
(maybe Pinkie catches him through Pinkie sense, a new-pony-in-town-is-going-around-incognito twitch or something, she does the Welcome Wagon bit, he doesn't react more than walking right past her when she's finished. Pinkie notes that she doesn't want a repeat of poor Crankey Doodle, at least not the hectic, I'm-a-big-pain-in-the-butt part, so she leaves him be, but notes that his smile was kinda flat...
They meet, talk a bit, both sides feel a little awkward, but something happens that leads to Flutters getting the 'cow' treatment? BB has brought a ball-gag this time...
---
(Need chapter of the two quietly living their lives apart, little hints that they miss each other. Then he opts to visit again)
They become something of an odd couple, either visiting eachother's towns every week or so or him coming down to Ponyville for a while, having some business he's really been meaning to tend to (send somepony else for) for a while now. Twilight, who tries to intercept him whenever possible, initially wants to make sure he's not up to anything, (revenge, for instance) then learns he sometimes visits and has forgiven Fluttershy, overwhelmingly pleased that he seems to have made a friend. (He claims it's just to discuss politics with Harry after having met him while coming out to talk to Flutters the first time. Most are inclined to believe him, if it's that or getting along with a pony that lives in a tree surrounded by dirt.)
It's also a point that the press would swarm like starving parasprites if it got out that the bachelor prince was dating a former supermodel/Element of Harmony.
---
Fluttershy gulped, the memories of being hounded by ponies of the press not fully faded from her mind.
"And then you factor in what they'd be asking about..."
"Meep!!"
---
It also comes up that, both of them being borderline sex symbols, (her for the model thing) a flowery speech about how certain urges shouldn't just be shunned and called 'dirty' probably wouldn't get them very far.
At some point, Blueblood brings up that BDSM relies a lot on trusting the other pony (might come up in how what they're doing isn't all that bad, really) and asks why she trusted him so readily.
---
"I could have inflicted serious harm, were I so inclined." There was a pause. "Well, I say that, but we both know your friends would have come after me straight away had you not returned uninjured."
She blushed, peering at him with an inquisitive stare.
He rolled his eyes. "I mean if I had really hurt you, or kept you in a cell somewhere?"
"Oh," she said, libido fading as quickly as it came, "that hadn't even occurred to me."
He raised an incredulous eyebrow. "You, a then-helpless and, there's no denying it, shapely filly-" he ignored her returning embarrassment, "at the mercy of a 'decadent noble' with a grudge against you? That didn't frighten you at all?"
"W-well... No." He stared back at her in shock, so it seemed elaboration was in order. "It's just, I knew I had hurt you that time, and I knew you were mad at me before, but, um... Y-you invited me, so I figured it meant you really accepted my apology and wouldn't do anything to hurt me, because you're not a bad pony." She smiled tenderly. "I hurt you, and while you could have done a number of things besides yelling at me for it, you didn't. That's how I know you wouldn't."
His mouth hung open, a bizarre mix of disbelief and a feeling he couldn't quite place tightening in his chest and constricting his throat, denying a reply.
Fluttershy lowered her head timidly. "Oh, um, I, uh, s-sorry, did I say something I shouldn't ha-"
"No," he managed, his voice hoarse before making the conscious effort to clear his throat, "that... that answers my question, thank you."
---
Somewhere down the line, Pinkie may remark on Blue stopping by to see Fluttershy's new back door. "Except it's not a door at all, it's really just a hole. Are you here to play with her back hole?"
-Note: I don't remember now what the 'back door/hole' refers to, possibly a scene in the show in which a wall in Fluttershy's cottage was damaged? I think Flutters might have cartoonishly burst through her own house while fleeing something at some point, but I haven't gone back to watch old episodes in years.
The cat thing starts while he's visiting town, Blue cheerfully volunteering to bring Opal back to Rarity the third time it happens. He remains calm, quiet, and civil as Rarity stands there not wanting to fire the first shot.
---
"And finally, madame, if I may?"
"...Yes?"
"Please control your FUCKING CAT!" Not giving her a chance to reply, he all but threw Opal at her and telekinetically slammed the door. By the sounds of the pained yowling of a displeased animal, and also her cat, things were not peaceful in the boutique, but he couldn't care less.
---
He returns to Fluttershy, The Gala comes up at some point, and treatment of Rarity.
----
"Of course I acted as I did, being an Element of Harmony doesn't really amount to much when there isn't a magical evil threatening the world, does it?"
"So you didn't treat her any differently than anypony else... I think I get that, but do you ever think maybe you went a little far?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, (Flutters sums up, he gives increasingly weak defenses?)
He blinked. "I... I... Oh." His ears folded back. "No, I suppose I didn't, not so much as I saw her as 'less important than me', I wanted to make a point that I wouldn't be swayed by her heroine status. It became so... routine, you know?"
She nodded a little. "So, um-"
He gave a regretful look, sighing. "Right, at least I know where to go."
---
(She's understandably cross, but Fluttershy standing behind him keeps her from doing anything unladylike. When it comes up that he threw Opal at her, Fluttershy almost yells at him.
---
"You THREW a CAT?!"
"What? It wasn't off a building and they land on their feet anyway!"
"You apologize to Opal right now!"
He rolled his eyes. "Miss Rarity was one thing, her obnoxious furball is quite ano-" He bristled, looking down to find the familiar feline rubbing itself against his leg, purring.
Rarity giggled. "You know, I think she forgives you, darling." It's true, isn't it? Cats make themselves present where they're wanted least.
---
(He later apologizes to Rarity. She concedes that she could have behaved differently herself, maybe politely ask him to be a little more considerate instead of just assuming he would, then grins mischievously and asks for details on the two.
---
"Forgetting the amount of time you two spend together, did you really think I wouldn't notice when he decided to make amends with me? You've shown a knack for this in the past, Fluttershy." (She makes a point of having wondered where the top hat came from and why Fluttershy looked all disheveled.)
"W-we weren't doing anything like that that time!!"
Rarity only stared at them with a knowing smile.
Her blush increased three-fold as she turned her gaze to the floor. "W-well, not right away, I mean..."
---
Regular teasing follows, coming to Ponyville, she warns him about Cloud Kicker, who doesn't actually turn out to be a problem. After the thing with Rarity, Fluttershy asks if he was swayed by her heroine status. He responds with some kind of teasing, probably about her flank-wiggling.)
Sweetie Belle meets Blueblood after Rarity's forgiven him, leading her to hit him on the head with something while reciting things Rarity said after the Gala, much to Rarity's embarrassment.
Becomes a running gag when Spike, Rainbow, Ditzy Doo, and some others do the same thing, all using different names she called him at the time. All while Rarity is standing right next to him, trying to shut them up.
Fluttershy is interrupted frequently, something that gives BB's patiently waiting for her to speak her piece, even when she's making a fool of herself, relevant)
Thinking his special talent is putting things in their proper place, like getting all the details and signatures he needs for bureaucracy, so he's also fastidiously tidy.
(scene set before he relocates:)
---
Distance was a funny thing. Usually more valuable in small doses, like personal space or the breadth of a room. When out of convenient range of something, distance can become unwanted, irritation at sheer lack of proximity between one thing and another. However, these preferences could reverse without one so much as noticing with the flow of time and changing of circumstances. Being near a fire is fine in winter months, usually, but it's seldom welcome during the high-noon of summer. Perhaps living near a bakery sounds like a good idea until one grows overly familiar with the scents of cooked confections, day-in, day-out, until even the sweetest aromas fill one not with a pleasant sense of bygone foalhood days, but nausea and stomach aches as one ceases to perceive that which they've grown accustomed to as they once did.
On the prince's mind right now? Distances between himself, Fluttershy, and the noise of Canterlot, and how he might like to rearrange them. It had long ago gotten tiresome, the garden parties, the double-talk, the whole song and dance of this city. Oh, certainly, good things were done as well, charities, benevolent fundraisers, that nature awareness thing that drew Fluttershy here before she bit him, that kind of thing, but it did painfully little to dull the ache of the very well-dressed noise.
And yet, he'd never really had reason to take up residence anywhere else, he even stayed in the palace to have quicker access to the forms and files he was tasked with filling out, not to mention less risk of being harassed mid-transit by every photographer, aspiring social climber, business owner, and irritating foal that happened across his path. Perhaps that should have told him something right there, he could seldom walk down the street without feeling resentment of some sort for over half of those he had to share it with. Even the presence of his royal aunts could be grating, Celestia's shenanigans growing more obnoxious since Luna's return and said sister's... eccentricities, growing harder to ignore.
Her pet possum isn't a bother, at least, if one doesn't feel the need to inquire why she has a pet fucking possum.
Perhaps there was some wisdom to Princess Cadence's general inclination to stay away from Canterlot whenever possible? Even before she went off to rule an empire alongside her dunderhead husband, she always seemed to avoid the sort of functions that would welcome the presence of a princess. Maybe she just didn't want to hear the inevitable comparisons to how Celestia behaved at such gatherings? Regardless, Blueblood felt it was time he followed her example. He was sick of Canterlot, and even if he got sick of the place he'd filled out all the proper documents to procure a living space on a hill by the Whitetail Woods, which happened to be within easy walking distance of Ponyville, he would at least be away from the hollow noise the mostly-false accents of his fellow elite had become.
He grinned to himself, not sure if his stepping off the train or the completion of what would be Blueblood Manor in a few days would announce his presence first...
---
(Moving away is a little easier because while he gives the story that, in his visits to Ponyville, it's actually kind of grown on him, not seeing anything to indicate the town was terribly abnormal, finding the locals to be decent sorts, (granted, he's only talked to a few,) and even making a friend.
---
"Oh? Is it anyone I know?"
"Do you know a bear?"
"What."
"That would be a 'no', then."
---
(He claims he'd actually like to spend more time there, and wonders if the country air do him the same favor it may have done Twilight. Celestia, in the meantime, refrains from saying anything that might sound like she's trying to keep him, (because she thinks it's all a ruse so he can be with Applejack) but lets him know he'll always be welcome.
---
"...Promise you'll visit, okay?"
He chuckled. "I will, Auntie, take care."
---
)If Celly's thinking ever reaches AJ's ears, she may blush, saying that while she doesn't hate Blueblood, she may already have her eye on somepony...
---
Rarity beams. "Ohhhh? Applejack, I had no idea you were holding out on us! Who's the lucky colt? Or, filly, if you prefer?"
AJ looks into Rarity's sparkling eyes, turns red, and looks away. "Ain't none'a yer bus'ness, Rarity!"
She pouts. "Fine, have it your way then." As she turned to depart, she wouldn't have even guessed the farmer was watching her go.
---
After living in Ponyville for a bit, Pinkie notices he hardly ever seems to smile. He might smirk, he might laugh for a few seconds, but never a "I'm just happy" smile. This bugs her, and she plans to do something about it. (Noticing he seems to like dark and spookyness, she opts to sing a dark, spooky song in preparation, stirring a large, pink cauldron.
Here's a song-parody-thing I wrote years ago!
Hey, Blue,
Why is it you seem so dismayed?
You just look so sad ev'ry day,
Blue, why is it you seem so dismayed?
You just look so sad ev'ry day...
Smile-less one,
I'll bring you relief,
And then everypony will see your shining teeth,
And I may not be sure, the cause of your grief,
But I'll always try to sow laughter beneath!
Levity, levity, levity, levity,
levity, levity, levity, levity, leave it to me!
Smile-less one,
I've find what you favor,
And may you fill your life, with moments you'll savor!
I'll help you break through, your conditioned behavior,
For it's up to you, if you want to save your levity!
Levity, levity, levity, levity,
levity, levity, levity, levity, I guarantee!
Hey, Blue,
Why is it you seem so dismayed?
You just look so sad ev'ry day,
Blue, why is it you seem so dismayed?
You just look so sad ev'ry day...
Smile-less one,
Each day you grow colder,
You grin even less than Maud's pet rock Boulder,
You smiled one day, when you were a foal,
And I will bring back, the joy you had before!
Levity, levity, levity, levity,
levity, levity, levity, levity, just wait and see!
Hey, Blue,
Why is it you seem so dismayed?
You just look so sad ev'ry day,
Blue, why is it you seem so dismayed?
You just look so sad ev'ry day...
*Crazy witch-laugh*
Maybe the song and cauldron thing are done in Zecora's hut, a joint thing between the two of them? Pinkie singing and dancing as Zecora does the chorus? They probably chant 'levity' parts together. Her big plan might take place during Nightmare Night party, not aware that he's been laughing and smiling while scaring ponies. It''s said that while he's kindof a jerk, he's definitely a happy jerk. He feels he can't quite argue? It's said that he could at least stand to show it a little more. He immediately displays a practiced grin, which makes Pinkie frown.
---
"You know how I know you're not really smiling, Blue? It's your eyes. When somepony smiles because they're happy, they get little wrinkles near their eyes, like their eyes are happy too. When it's fake? All you see are teeth." She shrugged a little. "I know you can fake that too, but still..." She gave a sad little grin, but looking closely he could indeed see little folds by her eyes. "I'm not saying to have to go around beaming with joy all the time, but just a little sign that you enjoy life sometimes is nice, y'know?"
---
(Their conversation may be in private, awkward otherwise, and the others would be standing by in silence. It's after this and the Nightmare Night party that he tries to lighten up a little more, if only to make Fluttershy smile a little easier around him. She reciprocates, if with a bit of a blush. He decides that, if nothing else, those he's actually kindof happy to see deserve a real smile.)
(He and Zecora might talk during the party, politics possibly coming up. Later, the two of them and Harry are found talking about economics or something entirely in rhyme. ("It wasn't planned, but Mr. Bearington started rhyming too and it felt as odd being the only one not doing it as being the only one who was would have, if that makes sense.") Discord might eventually follow? All in rhyme. FLutters sits by the side, smiling without the foggiest idea what's going on.)
-Somewhere along the line, this year's Gala happens, BB out of sight on a high balcony overlooking the party that he knows Discord is attending, Luna joining him as they talk for a bit about things. Subtle hint that Luna knows, but it's glazed over as Discord does something. Maybe when Flutters is reigning him in?
Weirdly, when not playing their games, Fluttershy dotes on him mercilessly, acting as though he's weak and helpless and can't do a thing for himself? This would allow for cutesy shows of affection, give him reason to get mad at her (to their mutual delight) and possibly some slapstick comedy as he elects to do crazy things on his own to prove himself as not a "Weak, helpless, sheltered momma's colt."
(Image of him with Scootaloo in a toboggan at the top of the tower staircase in his manor, both wearing helmets.
---
"You know, I'm having second thoughts..."
"Pfft, momma's colt."
After a brief pause, he set his goggles over his eyes. "Let's do this!!"
---
(After, Rainbow walks in, having wanted to beat up (or at least tell off) Blueblood, and sees him lying in a heap of injuries and bruises, Scootaloo (who he held onto for the protection of both) only having a few cuts and scrapes, standing over him and breathing heavy before shouting "That! Was! AWESOME! ..Oh, hey Rainbow Dash!" Flutters attending their wounds (mainly his) in slightly annoyed, yet motherly tones, Rainbow is standing there confused as Scoots hi-hoofs Blueblood? Rainbow later says, quietly, that she thinks "That filly is gonna be one tough little motherfucker.")
Running series of short stories with him and the CMC, mostly Scootaloo, doing crazy stunts? One or two times, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon have to witness the prince, every filly's fantasy, hanging out with the rag-tag lunatics they've gotten used to mocking. Both of their brains crash for a while and Cheerilee probably berates him for being a bad role-model.
---
"I'm no worse than the Element Bearers!"
"That's nonsense, they don't-"
"Rainbow Dash."
Cheerilee facehoofed. "Ok, yes, her, but-"
"Pinkamena Diane Pie."
"What did she ever-" She blinked, cutting herself off. "-Nnnnno, wait, nevermind... Apart from them, the rest are-"
His delivery was in complete deadpan. "Smarty Pants Incident."
"Ok, fine! But other than a few particular ponies the residents of this town are perfectly normal!" Now he smirked, and she knew exactly what he was thinking. She groaned. "Alright, there are a lot of ponies that do crazy things in Ponyville, but we don't need you making it worse!"
Diamond Tiara sensed an opportunity, and if her father taught her one thing in their weekly twenty minutes together it was to seize opportunities when they came up. "Actually, Miss Cheerilee, I think it was them-" she indicated three favored targets with a hoof, "-that were a bad influence on him, he didn't start doing this stuff until he talked to those three."
Where Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had the sense to avert their eyes and whistle innocently, Scootaloo pumped a hoof victoriously. "We hold sway over royalty!!"
"Ah knew this would go to 'er head," grumbled Apple Bloom.
Their teacher, however, laughed, trying and failing to force a straight face back on. "S-Scootaloo, I really don't think His Majesty here-" there was the faintest hint of mockery in the title, "-would follow the instructions of schoolfillies, do you?"
All was quiet as Cheerilee and her class looked to the only other adult present for an answer. He started to sweat, grinning somewhat nervously. "Well, look at the time! Carry on, lots to learn, ta-ta!" And he sped away.
Cheerilee smiled, rolling her eyes. "Well then, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, would you mind not convincing members of the royal family, or anypony else, that building a catapult to launch themselves from is a good idea?"
"Yes, Miss Cheerilee." They answered in unison, to the snickering of the rest of the foals present.
"Wonderful, now what's say we head back inside? That last chapter of the founding of Manehattan isn't going to finish itself."
This isn't over, thought the youngest daredevil, he'll be back, they ALWAYS come back!
Cheerilee stopped, looking around. "Oh, has anypony seen Silver Spoon?"
Diamond looked around quickly, her closest friend nowhere to be found. "Silver! Where'd you go?!"
---
This is what they do. This is what they do. This is what they do.
For the past several minutes, the heir of the Spoon family sat in the bowl of the catapult she'd found in the direction Prince Blueblood had come sailing from, not too far from the school. The only explanation was that he had, without a doubt, launched himself out of a catapult.
I'm supposed to be a high-class mare someday, to act like a princess even without wings or a horn... And this is what high-class ponies do...
She gulped. Being in the upper crust of society was scary sometimes.
"Well," she uttered, teeth gritted, "now or never!" She slammed a hoof on the side of the bowl. "BANZAAAAIIIII!!"
And then nothing happened. She knocked on the side of the bowl of the siege weapon she was sitting in a few more times. "Huh. How do you work this thing...?"
---
(I was thinking of brick-joking this later, Silver mastering the use of catapults offscreen for use at a later point in the story. Maybe, months later, Flutterbat is stopped by a falling heavy thing she launched. "Ha, finally got it to work!" The grey filly scratched her head. "Now why did I want to do this again...?") (Should name chapter she finds the Catapult in "What Goes Up..." and the one where Flutterbat is flattened "...Must Come Down."
Rainbow laughs at him when she realizes what he's been up to, but Flutters quietly reminds all present, Blueblood included, that Rainbow used to, and still does, crash all the time. She's less prone to mocking him afterwards.
As BB is repeatedly injured, Flutters, repeatedly fixing him up with light scoldings that ring of faint, but unspoken I-told-you-so's, asks if kindof enjoying tending to his wounds makes her a bad pony. Without a second's hesitation, he answers "You could never be a bad pony." As she turns red, what he said sinks in and he blames it on the painkillers. Or head trauma. Or both.
Thinking before they're together in long-term, he has a mansion built on the outskirts of Ponyville (Not terribly far from Fluttershy's cottage, it's noted, though not close enough to disturb the wildlife all that much) and, saying he'd like some fresh air, lives there for a bit, paperwork mailed to him... Along with the "tools" he and Fluttershy will be experimenting with. Things get awkward if there are animals at the cottage while they're together, moreso with Blue not much liking "filthy animals".
Short, silly conversation about them being very clean animals, more lighthearted adorkableness on her part while he tries to follow along. It's determined somewhere that, while Blueblood doesn't like animals very much, (though he gets along well with the bear, "I'm surprised to admit it, but that Grizzly fellow is quite the stand-up chap! I dare say I'd invite him over to the palace for tea some time, honeyed and otherwise!" Running gag of flutters finding this endlessly bewildering, she expected them to hate eachother with burning intensity.) animals seem to love him, cats most of all. Felines from around Ponyville regularly show up around his mansion and sometimes he even feeds them milk. "I'm thinking about starting a CAT pick-up service..."
(Reason: The bite did something to him, some kind of magic exchange that makes animals react to him similarly to how they react to her. Twilight may figure this out when it finally occurs to her to check Blueblood for anomalies)
Angel Bunny treats Blueblood with utter apathy most of the time, to keep things simple. It's heavily implied he's just glad Flutters is finally getting laid.
After he's been in town a while, Rarity joins Flutters out in the butterfly meadow.
---
"So what is it you wanted to talk about?"
Rarity blinked twice in surprise. "Whatever do you mean? I didn't say there was anything I wished to discuss."
She smiled a little. "Yes, but I know that look. There's something you wanted to ask me." She stepped closer, wrapping her fashionista friend in a wing-hug. "It's ok, you can ask me anything!"
---
(Rarity stammers, eventually saying in no uncertain terms that she wants to know how it's going with Blueblood. Flutters squeaks, hiding in the flowers before they talk, Rarity having ducked down to join her. (Doing so makes her feel like a filly again, but the conversation feels very adult)
Each of the mane 6 come by at some point, (maybe AJ, RD, and Pinkie all at the same time?) most of them finding his place to be creepy and empty. It looks so scary, inside and out, because it was constructed by a mostly minotaur team, known to work fast with good results.
Twilight:
---
"I-I'm not scared! It's just, um..."
"This house gives off a kind of 'haunted' vibe?" (Flutters says that earlier on)
"...Yea. Which is doubly creepy, because this place isn't even old enough to be haunted."
Blueblood raised a single, inquisitive eyebrow.
"ANDTHERE'SNOSUCHTHINGASGHOSTS!!"
AJ:
---
She nodded approvingly. "Well Ah like it, no frou-frou furnishin's or 100-bit vases waitin' to get knocked over, just pure, simple basics fer everythin' ya need," She elbowed him once, "Good on you, Blue!"
At least somepony could appreciate that the place was just built and thus had little in the way of decoration! He supposed there was some practicality in plainness, as well...
---
Pinkie:
---
That had to be the eighth time in half as many minutes. "Will you please stop that?!"
Pinkie tilted her head curiously. "Stop what?"
"That giggling, it sounds like you're coming off the effects of heavy anesthetics."
She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, it just helps keep the heebie-jeebies away, y'know? I bet this place is SUPER spooky at night!" Suddenly, she beamed. "Ooh, do you think you'll host a big, scary party here on Nightmare Night?"
---
(Possible Nightmare Night chapter, the preparation for which has Zecora going around smiling at the surreal idols and twisted paintings, one of the ponies helping her asking about a large, frightening crystal Windigo statue.
Blueblood replies with a completely straight face, "I don't have a crystal Windigo statue."
All is quiet before the pony, going pale, screams and runs away.
Fluttershy asks what he means, she dusted that thing just yesterday.
He grins back at her, smiling ear to ear and snickering.
Confused for a moment, her eyes widen and she scowls a little. "...You're horrible."
He threw his head back and laughed, the sound sending chills down the spines of a few ponies preparing for the party.
Rainbow:
---
"Awesome!! This place reminds me of Daring Do and the Dark Dungeons of Duke Dastardly!" She looked around with an excited smile. "Do you have like, secret passages and stuff behind book cases? Under the stairs?"
He decided to ignore the comparison to an evil fictional character. "No." Yes, but just the one. Wouldn't be secret if I went around telling ponies, now would it?
---
(She notes that it seems like a waste, the old castle in Everfree had a ton of-... On second thought, his place is cool the way it is. Really.)
(he decides that Rainbow, a pony that flies very high in the sky and regularly impacts things for fun is one he probably won't be able to scare. (some of the stunts he pulls do just that, but for different reasons. If he ever says this while she's present, she'll blush, fold her forehooves, and grumble. "Stupid, flattering jerk...")
Rarity:
---
"It could use a bit of touching up, darling, perhaps some portraits or tasteful rugs?" (She also comments on the appeal of dark-gothic architecture, reminiscent of Count Dragallop, if he had a dungeon for chaining up victims in the basement to drain them of blood. (She smiles innocently) "Or... Whatever reason one might come up with to put somepony in binds, I suppose..." (The couple both blush)
Rarity says she was expecting grand balls and exuberant displays of class and sophistication at his manor.
"Why would I want to invite Canterlot ponies to a place like Ponyville?"
"To show that you could, of course!"
---
He says that without his fellow elite, the place is quiet and peaceful, but that was kindof the point.
Rarity says she can help the others understand, but that she understands it's such a private matter they're not in a hurry to tell ponies anyway. Says she'll need time to think just how to break things to the others. "Very delicate matter," she uttered with a blush, "very delicate matter, indeed..."
Running gag of Discord visiting, looking like he's figured it out, then going for a complete non-sequitor when Flutters is good and flustered. Needs a chapter in which this happens repeatedly, her hanging out with him at the cottage (or somewhere, maybe nowhere at all if the mood hits) and the two of them talking about stuff. It probably won't be made clear whether he's just screwing with her or not.
There needs to be a point where Twilight unintentionally does something to get BB's attention, like gently shaking her flank when he's behind her and making accidental double entrendres, completely unaware. Thinking Rarity somehow sets them up for a laugh? (and to test whether or not he's committed to Fluttershy at all) Maybe she'd somehow get Blueblood to stay silent while they both stand behind Twilight, Rarity saying something to get her to dance, particularly the shaking, grinning mischievously as BB turns red and looks away? She apologizes to Twilight later, explaining how Blueblood might have interpreted her words and actions. Twilight, thoroughly embarrassed, avoids him for a few weeks.
As the door closed, he grumbled to himself. Stupid sexy Twilight.
(and then)
---
"Rarity?"
"Yes, darling?"
"Promise you won't tell anypony about this?"
"Of course."
There was a pause. "Pinkie promise?"
Rarity opened her mouth, but didn't speak right away. "Uh... I-I..."
"Rarity?"
She pouted. "Oh, phooey. Fine, fine, I Pinkie promise-" she made the appropriate hoof gestures, "-not to tell anypony..." As Twilight smiled gratefully, she smirked. "...That you shook your rump in a stallion's face while talking about (the thing the innuendo was based around) in suggestive terms."
Twilight lit up like she was trying to cast a spell without using her horn. "...Th-thanks..."
Rarity's smile was genuine and cheerful. "Any time, darling~!"
---
(Later Twilight accidentally hints her vague feelings for Flash Sentry, (still on the other side of the mirror) Rarity immediately recoiling in horror that she almost made her cheat on him! Twilight turns red, trying to re-word it in a way that doesn't sound so trashy-romance-novel, but Rarity goes on a lengthly, embarrassing tangent about how sorry she is to have used her as "shapely temptation for a lustful corrupter of innocence, (somewhere, Blueblood is whipping Flutters and suddenly really gets into it. She's not complaining, but asks why. "I have no idea!" *SMACK! SMACK!* Fluttershy smiled through clenched teeth, her whole body tingling. Life was good!) running the risk that you'd get his attention and be enthralled, torn away from your beloved and seduced by dark urges to-" (Twilight does something to shut her up, blushing furiously. This might be in public. Rarity notes that she might have gotten a tad carried away before coyly asking who it is she's interested in.)
It comes up that, castle staff not willing or able to move to Ponyville, he's pretty much alone in the large, mostly undecorated house, which gives it a creepy vibe that suits him fine, scaring Fluttershy out of her wits if left alone. Conflict of the story becomes the two concealing their relations, for fear of her friends' reactions at thinking he's forcing her and society at large judging her for exotic bedroom antics. Caught at his place more than once, she winds up working there sometimes as a maid in addition to helping with the cat thing. Her animals might have insisted on helping her clean, Snow White style, to Blueblood's utter bewilderment.
(One of the justifications of her working for him is that veterinary work doesn't really pay all that well, mostly because she doesn't charge for looking after pets, just takes whatever their owners will spare. Sometimes, she notes, when you offer your work for free, people will take that offer, and it's mostly Rarity (pretending that she really just has no idea how to deal with her cat, even occasionally fabricating reasons to bring her to Fluttershy) being exceedingly generous with her payments, something Flutters has been feeling guilty about for a while now, but knows she can't change Rarity's mind on. Getting a (real) job of her own means she can at least stop feeling like she's mooching off a friend, which is part of why she puts honest effort into her cleaning.
(Twilight hesitantly offers tips about making his place homier, but as she knows Blueblood doesn't really have many friends, she's not sure what to say)
When it's brought to her attention that her Nephew lives in a creepy, empty house... "Well why didn't you say so?! I've got boatloads of old knick-knicks from all over Equestria, gifts are shipped to the palace all the time and I don't have room to display them all!" Visiting the palace, (brief loneliness with Flutters, maybe him too) he of course takes the creepiest ones, obsidian statues and macabre relics, portentous murals and scary paintings, having grown to like the 'creepy' vibe and freaking ponies out with it. (It's later heavily implied that he wanted to help Flutters get braver by exposing her to scary things, (she'd be dusting them, afterall) which she thinks is an odd, but sweet gesture. The animals that sometimes help seem totally apathetic to the creepiness.)
Luna, a lover of all things dark and spooky, lights up like a bonfire when he points to the first creepy relic and says "Do you have any more like this one?"
---
"YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!" She practically pounced on him, hooking a foreleg around one of his, "Come Nephew, I shall show you the collection that Sister prefers we not display in the castle!"
---
Despite having been carried through the palace like a rag-doll, the prince smirked once he saw his darker aunt's choices for what to display in Blueblood Manor. "Thank you, Auntie," he said, "I think these will do very nicely..." You thought my house was scary before, Ponyville? Wait and see, motherfuckers! Part of him wondered if this was wrong, part of him wondered if he was being immature with his fondness for making ponies squirm, but any such parts were silenced under one question he felt was very, very important.
"Auntie, none of these things are actually cursed or anything, right?"
(Luna, as Nightmare Moon, may stalk the halls during the party for a bit before loudly declaring that there are no little colts and fillies to devour, so she'll be off. Her voice echos through the halls "Until next year!" followed by her famous Nightmare laugh)
---
Applejack sees the new decor. (At the party, probably)
Blueblood, standing behind her, did his best not to sound the least bit like he was mocking her. "I do hope you can forgive me for doing away with some of the 'pure, simple basics,' Miss Applejack, but when I kept hearing about how plain and boring my abode was, I simply had to make a few changes. It's not too 'frou-frou', I hope?"
The farmer stood on faintly shaky legs, really wishing she'd come during day-lit hours. "There's words fer this kinda thing, Blue, an' frou-frou ain't the ones."
"Isn't frou-frou a single compound word?" It was ok to mock her just a little.
"SEMANTICS!!"
---
(At some point, Discord comes in, sees the spookiness, and thinks he's at war with Sugarcube Corner, for sheer contrast? He may opt to take BB's side in this conflict, despite BB's efforts to make it clear that he is not at war with anything, enchanting certain doors to lead to random other parts of the house. Flutters eventually asks very nicely that he not make her job of cleaning any harder, for which he genuiniely apologizes and sets things right. She nuzzles him to make it clear there are no hard feelings. Blueblood's brain stops working seeing the Spirit of Chaos nuzzled.)
After, somepony seriously down on their luck breaks in to steal a few ("He's rich, he won't miss it, and we badly need the money.") things. Wandering the place at night, however, Lyra and Bon-Bon only have the light of her horn in a dark, scary house full of unsettling objects. Looking for one they don't suspect is cursed or liable to come alive and bite them, or just give nightmares, they end up freaking eachother out more and more by accident until both run screaming through the manor and Blueblood finds them.
(Thinking Lyra's personality is well-meaning, but short-sighted, Bon-Bon is sweet to a fault.
---
"Do you think it'd go away if we offered it cookies?"
"You brought cookies?"
She beamed, pulling a small box of confections from the puffier part of her tail. "I always bring cookies!"
Lyra grinned. "Now that's a tail worth chasing!"
Bon-Bon gasped, a light blush visible even in the dark corridor. "L-Lyra!"
She giggled in response. "Sorry." Her face regained some of it's previous seriousness. "But, no, monsters that skulk around in the dark would probably prefer to just eat ponies."
The earth pony glanced around, making a mental note of what they were doing at that very moment.
"...Ponies that skulk around in the dark, I mean?"
"We should probably keep moving...")
Blueblood, having thought Flutterbat had returned and come for him, follows the sounds of the two mares through his house with an antique sword and a candle, ("As I really don't want to use the blade, perhaps the presence of flame will be enough? Works in the old horror stories...") not wanting to hurt her (Well, at least not under these conditions...) but not wanting her to hurt him, either. (the poor burglars see his blade-wielding silhouette a few times, scaring them further) At the end, they meet, all calm down, and explain what's happening. Later, Rarity hears that Lyra and Bon-Bon's financial trouble was resolved, and while a little irked that they didn't ask her for help, she's tickled pink to hear the prince, actually feeling sorry for them, (probably have him and flutters talk about wealth and privilege at an earlier point) essentially said "take this and go away." (There should be a point made that criminal methods did them more harm than good, that asking for help is what got them out of their rut)
Scene about Flutters cleaning the place:
--
"Oh," he said casually, "do be thorough, will you? I abhor a mess, so incompetence in the cleaning staff will be punished harshly. Off with you now!"
The last part was added with a cheerful smile, making Fluttershy unsure if being 'punished' was a good thing or a bad thing. She eyed the feather-duster curiously. To clean, or not to clean...?
(Cut to her having done a good job)
"Well done," he said with a smile, "now bend over that chair."
She blushed, legs shaking with equal parts fear and excitement at the command. "B-b-b-but I thought you s-said-"
He smirked. "I said incompetence would be punished harshly. Competence will be punished ordinarily."
The goofy, self-conscious smile returned. "Y-yes sir!"
---
Some other, pointedly single mares talk around town about working as his maid and "working as his maid", if only for the bits, but he says that hiring Fluttershy means random amounts of help in the form of critters that want to make her job easier and don't demand payment, which suits him fine. They accept this, both because most of them already have livelihoods to think about anyway and they'd rather not make an enemy of Rarity (Whether she cares or not) by working for him. Maybe have a few particular mares walk out to the mansion for the proper scene?
Rarity catches wind of this later, and while she never comments on the ones that wanted to work for him, they talk about the rich-pony-screws-his-maid thing.
---
"I know what they were thinking, Miss Rarity, and I hate to perpetuate a stereotype."
She smirked. "Oh, really?"
He visibly reddened, looking away as he muttered a reply into his wineglass. "...Mostly..."
Rarity giggled melodiously. "Now, now, there's nothing to be ashamed of, your relationship with Fluttershy is quite another thing from those with your maids back home, no?"
He raised an eyebrow, mouth twitching once or twice before replying. "Are... Are you under the impression that I really did... consort, with random palace staff, back in Canterlot?"
She blinked once, looking not unlike a foal hearing for the first time that there is no magical delivery pony that leaves presents for good little colts and fillies on Hearthswarming Eve. "Y-you mean... You mean you didn't?"
"Nnnnnooooo...?"
"B-but, but...!" She waved her forehooves emphatically. "It's such a popular cliche, over a third of the romance novels I've read at least heavily imply an attractive, wealthy pony taking an interest in one of their servants and-"
He blushed, dismissively waving a forehoof. "Not what happened here."
"Then how-"
"She bit me."
"Oh..." Rarity turned her gaze to the floor, lower lip quivering.
Blueblood awkwardly looked around the room, waiting for a sign that this was a joke or something. "Are you, uh, quite alright?"
She stood up, downing the rest of her glass in one gulp. "Please excuse me," she whispered, "I just, want to be alone right now..." And she departed, off to mourn another of her favorite murdered fantasies.
Blueblood refilled his glass, he would need it if he was going to think about what just transpired any further.
---
(Thinking of Discord making Celestia look evil for fun. She asked him to spy on watch over BB, maybe keep an eye out for anything like a fillyfriend. Discord decides it's much more fun to mess with her head than watch BB all day, or even at all. The truth is that he's known for quite a while what he and Flutters are doing, but if she knew he knew, the poor filly might take a vow of chastity in sheer embarrassment, which is exactly the last thing she needs. As such, dicking with Celestia. It's only the moral choice here. Totes.)
---
The black cloak, somehow, covered his entire body, save for his mouth and scraggly beard. He spoke in a raspy whisper, a forked tongue wavering as he emphasized certain syllables. "The dahrk deed hassss been completed, my mahsssstah..."
Celestia flushed. "Will you STOP that?! You're making me look suspicious!"
Discord drew back slightly in what may have been a bow. "The Dahrk Lady vishesssss her activitiesssss kept ssssecret, Thissss One vill comply..."
"Urrrgh!"
(after he leaves)
Luna touched a hoof to her chin, the faintest tinge of red coloring her cheeks. "Sister, what was that enchanting creature?"
Celestia facehoofed, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
---
(Celestia later catches them in bed, Discord still in the robe and wearing a griffon skull-mask, ("Your sister has some weird kinks, Celly!"
She scoffed. "This coming from he who stopped for a drink of changeling goo during the second round."
"Judge if you must, but nothing gets the thorax glowing like changeling goo."
Tia leaves, distraught, but distantly happy for her sister.
Luna turns to him. "So, she has no idea that Nephew has been passionately embracing young Fluttershy?"
"None."
"Nor that they're quite happy together even outside those relations?"
"I figure that's kindof a given."
"Or that you've known this since the beginning?"
"If so, she's playing more complicated games here than I care to guess at."
"I see. One wonders why, given how regularly ponies dream of those they cherish, she has not asked my thoughts on a particular pony regularly appearing with increasing frequency in Nephew's dreams."
"Maybe she's just used to being sneaky and roundabout?"
"Moreso than yourself, clearly, given your idea of-" she traced a hoof along his serpentine body, guessing it meant he was still serpentine under the cloak for now, "keeping me quiet."
The skull-mask waggled the spaces where its eyebrows would have been. "Why spoil the fun?"
There was a long silence. Luna shrugged. "On that note, another go?"
---
(When Twilight riddles out the truth of Flutters biting BB and that it imprinted some of her magic onto him, he gets a wide, almost creepy smirk, biting the inside of his cheek.
---
"S-so you're saying," he said through clenched teeth, "that the reason I can get along with her entourage of woodland critters, is because she bit me."
"Err... Yes, that seems to be the case. Are you okay?"
Somehow, he grinned even wider. "Then, I can deal with them because of her bite. Animals like me because I was bitten by a radioactive animal lover."
Twilight facehoofed, now seeing his line of thought. "That is not-"
Rainbow beamed. "That is AWESOME!!"
---
(They joke about him getting some kind of super hero costume. If Rarity is around, she may suggest through giggles that she put together the outfit, Twilight groaning at the group's comparing a rare case of undocumented magical transfusion to comic-book science as they start laughing about whether he would be the main hero or Fluttershy's sidekick, or if it'd be like he was the bold leader while she was the glass cannon.)
(Discord, when asked for his input about why cats in particular are attracted to BB, shrugs. "Well, you've got me. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense."
(I'm thinking the actual reason is that cats are the primary pet in ponyville, most of the population being normal mares. Plus the whole cats-love-people-who-don't-want-them-around thing.)
(Random, silly conversation they have one day, maybe after Flutters is working at his place?)
---
He eyed her for several seconds longer than usual, prompting a slow-building blush. "Uhmm...?"
"Hm? Oh, my apologies, an odd thought occurred to me."
She tilted her head a little, adjusting the frilly maid-hat with a hoof. "Yes?"
He looked her dead in the eye, face completely expressionless. "Do pegasi ever tickle themselves? By accident or otherwise?"
Blink.
The prince pointed to her sides with a hoof. "Your wings rest against your barrel, I'm wondering if the feathers ever brush you the wrong way and elicit a laugh. Do they?"
Fluttershy was silent for several seconds before starting to grin, giggle, and then laugh, loud and hard, until she was rolling on the floor and kicking her legs in the air.
"What," he asked, slightly exapserated as he inclined his head slightly for a better look at her wings, "is that a yes? Are they doing it now? Hello? Fluttershy?"
She laughed and laughed.
---
Blueblood's official job entails doing whatever needs doing by royal hooves, but he dresses it up to not have to describe himself as a petty errand boy. Fluttershy senses this, and tries to help him not feel ridiculous and unneeded ("She only lets me do that much out of pity," he admitted in tears, "because she knows she doesn't need me around, but can't bear to sever a tie after so many years alone! I'm a joke! A sick joke by a goddess too loving for her own good!") until they talk about the issue.
"Lightening the load on others, even by a little bit, isn't nothing." Her voice was soft, but serious. "Please don't say that it is." She smiled. "I know, for me, what you do helps a lot. Not just the," she blushed, looking away for a split second and unconsciously retreating into her mane, "a-activities we do together, but here in Ponyville."
He sniffled once, but let her speak.
"Ponies came to me all the time when a cat went missing, and I'd usually have no idea where they could have gotten to right away and go looking for them. Now, they come to you." She shrugged a little. "I'll admit it isn't as important as raising the sun, or stopping an ancient malevolence, but it's something, and it helps, it really does!"
(She recites that poem by Dickenson, slightly modified.)
"If I've stopped one heart from breaking, I have not lived in vain. If I've eased one life of aching, or cooled one little pain, or helped one fainting robin into his nest again, I have not lived in vain."
---
Towards the end her friends all learn the truth. Rainbow's reaction is a long silence, her face unreadable as Flutters stammers, followed by
---
"Daaaaaaaaaaamn..." She seemed about a fraction as embarrassed as Fluttershy. "You've gotta be a little braver than I've been givin' you credit for, I'd be scared outta my wits trying that stuff."
(She says it's not so bad) "Th-the restraints are actually kind of nice, I think, the tight, unyielding binds holding you up," her own description was doing nothing to dissuade her embarrassment, but she still wanted to try to explain, "your limbs stretched outwards in the dark, even your tail seized and helpless, the cords digging into your fur and-"
Rainbow dropped to the ground with her hooves over her ears, almost whimpering. "Stopstopstopstopsto-ho-hop!!"
As much as she wanted to hug Rainbow and tell her everything was fine, something in Fluttershy felt mischievous as she leaned down to whisper into her friend's ear. "Paddles."
"EEK!"
---
The final conflict comes from Flutterbat, going feral for some reason and chasing down Blueblood. Starts when she finds and reads a poorly-hidden book in Twilight's castle? (Twilight hasn't had the time to re-cast the extensive series of security spells needed to keep the journal secret) She reads the first few paragraphs about "Duke Venom" and his dark, scary castle overlooking the peaceful town of (somewhere) with evil intentions. At first she's shocked that Twilight writes horror, but goes a bit further to find it's about the evil duke seducing nearly the entire town, ponies of any type and age, nopony safe from his depravity... Even a princess. (It might come up that it all ends with the duke, not satisfied with the entire town, invokes dark magic to become a tentacle monster, which the princess, ("Princess Violet") corrupted by his influence, keeps as a pet to relieve herself with, the whole town thinking she's a hero for stopping him?)
Twilight's secret fantasies get Fluttershy feeling exactly the way she did the night she bit Blueblood, (reasons she can't relieve it at the time, maybe she doesn't want to reveal that she read it?) and she turns into the bat at some point thinking about it. Twilight explains, through no small amount of embarrassment, that she wrote it out of being frustrated (in a number of ways) in dealing with a particularly attractive stallion who frequently ticked her off. (Somepony says "I knew this was Blueblood's fault somehow!" He would scowl in reply if not for the similar degree of humiliation he was reeling from at being the subject of someone's dark-erotic fantasies. "Do I really come off as some creepy molester?!" )
It's probably here that all secrets are revealed and the point is made that just having fantasies isn't wrong, someone else admitting to have harbored extremely racy thoughts, possibly not just about Blueblood, Twilight smiling sheepishly. ("Not just me, then... That's... relieving?") Pinkie Pie is silenced by nearly everypony at once when she says "I've always kinda wanted to-")
Scene would have spelled out that just about everyone has thoughts like that, (Rarity says she doesn't think about him that way, which he looks relieved to hear. She turns away with a blush. "Before the Gala, however..." He faints. She says hers were still always gentler) but thinking about that kind of thing every now and then doesn't make them perverts, doesn't make them monsters, doesn't even make them weird. Just ponies.
When Blueblood manages to shake off the embarrassment, (mostly) he makes an effort to make Twilight feel a little better about herself by saying he's been, strictly involuntarily, thinking about her that way too every now and then, ("Not to such an.. extreme degree, but...") but won't act on it because he's grown too fond of Fluttershy. If they didn't know before, shocked silence and "So, does that mean you chain her up in your dungeon, or...?" follow. He does not answer the question.
Before the search, BB feels obligated to warn AJ that he might not be her only target.
---
"No."
"In our many... relations, your name has come up."
"No!"
"You see, with our use of ropework, she couldn't help thinking about-"
"No, Blue, please, no!!"
"She's particularly fond of your flank."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!"
---
(AJ says she wasn't afraid of that, she was terrified, and why'd he have to go and tell her?! He replies very seriously that he couldn't live with himself if he sent someone to face those teeth without knowing the risks.
Thinking they all go looking for Fluttershy, BB's teamed up with Pinkie. He hesitantly asks what she was going to say, emphasizing that she doesn't have to share. She gives an innocent smile.
---
"Capture the flag!" He is confused. She giggles. "Your horn's pretty long, so I was thinking it might be fun to tie a flag to it, have everypony chase you, and you'd be all "Torro, torro!" while waving it around! Then it'd be capture the flag AND tag at the same time!"
They stand in silence as she beams. He smiles, surprised at how innocent she really is until she steps closer with an impish smile and whispers "By the way? Other horn."
"Other h-" He freezes, immediately flushing crimson as his jaw drops. She giggles maniacally. I asked her, he cursed himself, that's the worst thing of all, I asked her about it.
---
Maybe they don't catch her the first night, Blue later searching with AJ, the two ribbing the other about who she's more likely to pounce on; her usual favorite or the one with apples on her ass. (AJ does her best not to look scared, thinking to herself that the bat can smell fear)
I never came up with specifics on how they'd catch her, so it may have ended up as simple as Flutterbat shows up, goes raarraarrarr, and gets mashed into the ground by a falling Silver Spoon.
At the very end, they're a happy couple, somepony asks "How did you two meet?" They look at one another and smile. He replies. "She fucking bit me."
Ever-After-Epilogue:
-Happy couple known to the public, even if not what they do in the bedroom/fluffy torture chamber
-Silver Spoon going on to become a master of siege weaponry. (all this time her cutie mark meant flinging things at a long distance, like with a spoon when she was young, she just never understood it until the catapult) This sees surprising amounts of use.
Author's notes: As it usually feels a bit bumbled in canon, I'm taking some creative liberty with the episode order. My apologies to everyone that wanted an attempt at explaining how we got through fifteen episodes (Tanks For The Memories up to Hearthbreakers, nevermind that Nightmare Night apparently comes right AFTER that in Scare Master) with no signs of winter in between, but there are things I'm just not up to trying. 
(Name for nature-fest thing? If it keeps coming up, maybe)
("Wait and see, motherfuckers!") Taught from foalhood to behave in the most strictly composed and elegant manner available to one of his standing, a young prince might learn to swear only in his own head when it can be helped.
End: I know that most of the story pretty much focused on BB moving and adjusting to Ponyville, but I think that romances work best when the pair have something else going on as the relationship develops, as much fun as it might be to jump straight to the huggy bits. To keep the growth between them gradual, I figured the shift from Proper Place Canterlot to Anything Goes Ponyville, plus whatever I could drum up in the way of side-story for Fluttershy, would fit as well as anything else.
Aaaaand that's all, folks!
(I pictured Porky Pig popping out of the loop thing in full, leather BDSM gear, so you may enjoy that mental image as well.)
Can we possibly get a tl;dr version? That's a lot of text.
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Flutters and Blueblood live together in Ponyville, various shenanigans ensue, Flutterbat comes back, gets KO'd by Silver Spoon, happy ending.