Story Stand Down · 5:01am Feb 15th, 2019
So, after way too long, and way too many setbacks, it’s finally done. And it feels fucking weird, let me tell you. I fought with myself over and over again this week, as I did my final read through and edit. The end chapters had been written, re-written, edited and edited again, and a part of me kept saying “Nope, you need to look again. Remember that part? It could be better, couldn’t it? What about that other thing, does it read well? Did you remember to add in that other nonsense you thought of?”
I could have continued to go over it and edit it for the rest of the month, and if I’d listened to that nagging little voice in the back of my head I’d probably be doing that right now, making meaningless little changes (should I leave that comma there? I’ve used the word ‘eyes’ like three times in the last six paragraphs, maybe I should change one of them to ‘face holes’. Ohh, maybe I can find more words to emphasize!), and then changing those changes and then reverting them back again.
It was busy work, just another way for me to hang onto the story and not let it go. Which was a bit confusing, because I’ve been kicking myself for ages for leaving this thing unfinished.
Pictured: What I Thought Releasing The Finished Story Would Feel Like
But as the last four chapters were finally completed, and then edited, I found it harder and harder to call it good enough and just release the damned ending into the wild, and change it to ‘Complete’.
Me Releasing The Final Chapters, From My Brains POV, Apparently
This story has been around through a lot of events in my life; the birth of my daughter, several job changes, no less than four moves. The meeting of, and subsequent marriage to my wife, the purchase of a home, a four year custody battle (not with my wife) which I finally won. My return to college (online) to finally finish my stupid degree. A lot of things have happened, and this story was always sort of in the background for all of it. It was honestly hard to wrap it up and say goodbye to it.
The story, and my plans for it, have likewise seen a lot of change over this time period. At one point, when they were still very little, Celestia and Luna had a pet goldfish named Chocolate ("Why chocolate sweetheart?" Ryan asks, amused. “Because,” Luna replies, with all the seriousness of a judge at sentencing, “I like chocolate.”). They were also going to have a dog (either a black lab or a german shepard), who may or may not have helped out in important ways.
There were two or three half finished Omake type things I started and subsequently discarded. The only one I can really remember was a one shot about a college kid who gets separated from his friends during a trip and ends up lost near Ryan’s property. He was going to run into Celestia out in the hills, who would help him find his way back with the maps app on her Samsung. The joke was that after he finds his friends he has to try to explain how a pretty unicorn let him borrow her cell phone.
I also discarded several aborted attempts to write in another character, so that it wouldn’t just be some hermit hunkered down in his cabin with the two sisters. At one point there was going to be a reunion with Callie’s father, with a whole lot of bitter feelings and dramatic, gripping dialogue. I got it started, but I just couldn’t make Ambrose feel like an actual, believable character.
It was the same thing when I started toying around with the idea of Ryan bringing a female veterinarian (and potential love interest) into the picture. Whenever I tried to expand the cast, I ended up with scenes and dialogue that felt way too forced or contrived. It was like I was making them play make believe with a cardboard cutout I’d shoehorned into the story.
I also spent an inordinate amount of time inventing background details and scenarios for the state of the world near the end. I spent a goodly amount of time creating a large, detailed geo-political map, listing the affiliation of every nation, and all the current conflicts and flash points. At one point the ending was going to come to a world that not only was experiencing a second, more intense Cold War, but was also on the brink of collapse from global warming, fuel, water and food shortages. Then I realized I was basically caging the ‘Resource Wars’ from Fallout lore and slapped myself for my impertinence.
The twelfth chapter went through a number of iterations, many of which ended with a detailed description of the end of the old world and the last days of humanity. From some astronauts pov as they watched the bombs begin to fly, to the last few moments of life of the last surviving human being, long after the war is done, and the increasingly crazy things they had seen and heard of, which was going to show that magic had been leaking into the world and changing it. That would have functioned as a half-assed bridge to link old Earth with Equestria.
In the end, though, I went in the direction I went and ended it the way that I did (which should have come as a surprise to absolutely nobody) And to be honest, I’m satisfied with it overall.
MLP, and the fandom, helped me through a pretty rough stretch of my life, and this story was a big part of that, and I’ll always be grateful for it. And I’ll always be grateful to the readers, both the supportive and the critical. This was my first serious foray into writing, and despite taking for-fucking-ever to finish (I cannot tell you how many times I honestly considered just publishing the half-completed shit that I had done already and calling it a day), it has taught me a lot about who I am as a writer, and the type of writer I would like to grow into.
And that pretty much wraps things up. I’m sure I’ll still lurk about, but I don’t know if I’ll do anymore pony writing. Take care everyone, and if you’ve made it to the end of this long, excessive bit of self-fellatio, then thanks for toughing it out.
Pictured: Your Well Deserved Praise
This right here is a whole bucket of wholesome. Nice job man
This was one of the old stories, you know? One of those stories written way back when everyone was still figuring this thing out, and everyone went their own way. I read this for the first time a long time ago, and thought that, for an incomplete story, it ended in a fairly good place. I still tracked it, because hope springs eternal, yes?
I am very pleased to see my optimism validated.
So here's to the writer, and here's to the story, and here's to a long task well completed!
Ya killed it, man. You stuck it out and finished what you started. That's more than anyone here could've asked for. I'm definitely more than grateful to finally see you move this one home to the completed section where it belongs.
Thank you for the years you spent toiling over a great horsey family. Here's to ya, and the hope that you'll stick around for the long while.
This was great. To be honest sometimes when authors try to add more and more to stories it ends up not feeling as genuine as when it began. To be honest I really can't see this tale go any other way. And I honestly want to see more of Ryan's interactions in EQ. Not that I'm asking you directly to create more but maybe leave it open to others to maybe expand on the universe? Wether it be canon or not is an entirely different deal. Maybe something like a "redemptionverse" where anyone can just expand if they feel like it. Just a thought, I'm very glad you decided to finish this though. Best of luck to you, and thank you for this gift.
I love this story like no other, you did an amazing job. Best to ya
You sir can have all the drinks...as soon as I can see to pour them because I can't stop crying.
I just want to say thank you to everybody for the warm comments. I'm truly glad that I could bring you some pseudo-literary enjoyment :)
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Just dropped by to check in, too. Your story has a firm hold on my heart, and I really can't forget it.
Every once in a while, I come back and read it again.