My Limits. Plus an 'issue' I have as a writer. · 12:08am Oct 29th, 2018
Now, do I expect anyone to read this? No, no I don't. Do I appreciate it when someone does? Yes, yes I do. What I'd like to say first, I'm saving the 'Event' chapter in Actualization Online for Halloween, also gives me some down time too for the interesting chapter. Thought I clear that first.
Now, the 'Issue' part I mentioned, nothing to do with my story or what-not, just....well, I have...issues.
I'm not one to take things in any serious light, never have been, well, maybe once in my life, but that's a dark place I'd rather not shed light on. What I'm rambling about is 'knowing one's limitations', or how I lack that 'moral compass' in that highlight. You see, when I started writing....three years ago, I think? I had four projects of mine at the time, how I didn't lose what's left of my sanity is a God send, and that's my problem, I have a hard time putting limits on my capabilities.
I have another project on RWBY going on for over a year now, and its nearing its end come the final Sunday of December, so I have plans for a new story to take its place, problem is, MLP: AO will still be going on at the time, and by then I'll be full-time in my job, which is quite a bit of physical work, not that I mind, its just going to take time for me to adjust to full-time work. But that's why I struggle with limits too, I don't know how to do so, and I struggle to not just say, 'Why not post all the projects I can't decide between?' which is three, by the way, plus MLP: AO.
My point is, I hate skipping deadlines on my Sunday releases, since I've been doing this since I started writing, its the day with no work, no stress to build, and when I used to miss deadlines, I have this subconscious feeling that I let myself down again, its....bothersome, to put it lightly. I'm....not as motivational to myself, always saw my work as inferior to others, when I'm praised for good work, I shrug it off or play dumb, even when I work, the comments I respond to as well on MLP: AO still feel....wrong to me, I keep feeling I don't particularly deserve it and that's something I can't ever shake. Add on a missed deadline, and the fact I work a more physical job, and you got yourself a mental strain, not good when I've had a bad day, worse than usual.
So yeah, can't say anyone will read this, nor do I expect anyone to do so, I ain't in control, but....I don't know.....thought I just share what's on my mind right now, maybe its like a reason I write. I do so for two reasons. One, because I want people to smile without knowing the asshole I am. And Two, because I feel I can project my thoughts and emotions to others in a way that enjoyable, relatable, and so on, guess that's what makes me happy.
Well, hope this was....interesting to read, I don't really know what to think of it myself. Seeya next time.
Slendy
Personally, I sympathize. The desire to entertain and present your thoughts and feelings, sharing your ideas with people... That's a part of why I love writing. You can create the stories you want to read and that you think others might enjoy, and use them to share ideas and thoughts about things while keeping a veil between yourself and the reader most of the time. But it can be a struggle to work at, especially when you've got other things in your life that tax you in some way.
I've yet to read your story, but I'm going to in the near future, and I have this to say to you: don't ever give up. If you love to write, then write, and don't ever let anyone make you question your ability.
4959799
Well thanks, good to see my rambling made sense, and not to worry, ain’t nothin’ gonna keep me from writing!