A Small Sample · 8:07pm Apr 8th, 2018
As all of you have probably seen on my last blog post, I have a new computer coming in tomorrow. A gaming laptop, in fact. So, I'll be away for a few days as I get it set up, and enjoy myself a bit. In the meantime, I thought I'd give my fans a sample of what is to come in the next chapter.
Enjoy.
"Well, I'm never doing that again."
Grogar looked around his bedchamber in a combination of amusement and exasperation. He'd known that the legendary drink, Poko, was potent. Potent enough to get even the mightiest of immortals drunk. More importantly, drunken immortals tended to go on wild escapades. But this...
A stuffed aligator hung from the ceiling. He had no idea where it came from, or why someone had hung it from the ceiling, but it was there. The room was littered with items that ranged from the curious (A unicycle, a saxophone, and no less than five fake moustaches, just to name a few) to the... interesting (an odd gag featuring a red ball; several garments that, even lying on the floor, were so blatantly erotic that they even made Grogar blush looking at them; to... paraphernalia that begged the question of who had worn it, who'd they used it with, and would it need to be cleaned off or burned later). And for the first time ever, Grogar had woken up with bedmates. No less than seven mares, five Trog-ettes with impressive... assets, two female griffons, a female hippogriff, and out in the courtyard, he could see through his window a very large, very satisfied looking female sphinx sleeping in the sunlight.
Grogar felt that he ought to be more proud of himself than confused right now, but looking around his room, he simply could not wrap his mind around what had happened.
He'd drank only a thimble full of the stuff, and this was the end-result: He'd soon learn that he'd gone on a three day spree of wild debauchery that would become the stuff of myth and legend. He'd nearly drank a full mug of it instead. Poko was infamous for giving those who drink it night that they will never remember. That was clearly the pure, unvarnished truth, based on the evidence before him.
'Well,' he thought to himself, 'at least it's impossible for me to sire children.' That was one headache he'd not have to deal with as a result of this... misadventure. As it was, he'd be weeks sorting out exactly what all had transpired, if not moons (Speaking of moons, he'd learn a week later that he had... defaced the dark side of Tambelon's moon with an image so graphic and lewd that he would, one night, secretly destroy the moon and replace it with another one. He never did figure out how in Hades he managed to scrawl something so debauched on the moon, nor why). Were it not for the fact that he was still decades away from being ready to launch his conquest of Equestria, he'd be ready to panic. Instead, he probably wouldn't have too many problems spring from this...
On the upside, he'd ended up earning a few additional titles during his drunken romp, including Friend of Beer Wenches, which among Trogs had become a very high honor indeed. He'd also gained the nickname, 'The God Of Wine and Teats', which was an even greater honor.
Still, he'd need to avoid that drink in the future. While he could drink ordinary brews by the gallon and not feel a thing, it was quite another thing to down the Beer of the Gods and the God of Beers.
--------------------
'How does that work?' I thought to myself, as the memory finished playing out. 'Does that mean that Poko worships itself?'
Very Enjoyable.
yes, poko worships itself. As "Thousand Shinji" pointed out, the most damned, and the most godly, acts of worship, are performing recursive rituals, such as offering up a blood sacrifice of your own blood... to yourself!
An actual stuffed alligator, or the Winslow?
As with the rest of the fic, I don't even know... and I love it!
I am so happy to see an update. All glory to Poko!!
wait so he DOES plan to conquer Equestria? I thought the plan was to mess with them peacefully?
that makes perfect sense its beer drank by the gods and amongst beer, it is a god, I don't get why either would suggest it worships itself?
4836307
I think this was a memory of the old Grogar's not our protagonist.
4836167
To say it wasn't a real alligator would be to suggest that the Winslow isn't real, and that would be an insult to any religion that worships The One True Winslow, which is pretty much every religion that isn't on Earth. And I definitely don't want to start another intergalactic holy war. Twelve is enough for one lifetime, thank you.
4836327
oh, that makes more sense, considering that most of those species aren't in his realm at all... that we know of.
4836380
Man, you insult someone's towel once and they just never let it go, huh?
4836430
Oh, indeed. Insulting a man's towel is a serious violation of the gentleman's code after all.
Can't help but wonder if one of those seven is Honey Butter
It doesn't need to, just by existing it pulls in all the worship it could ever want
4836535
Over a thousand years ago? Nah.
4836553
So it was the original Grogar's memories then
4836535
Nah, the third-person narration indicates that this was a flashback to something that happened to the real Grogar before he died, which was 1000 years ago. That means Honey Butter's Greatx20 Grandparents weren't going to be born for a few centuries at that point, to say nothing of Honey Butter herself.
When the narration switches to first-person at the end, then it goes back to the perspective of the alien mind that took over Grogar's body 1000 years later. Whatever happened to him during his own Poko outage might have involved Honey Butter, but she definitely wasn't involved in the scene included in this little trailer.
4836561
Gotcha
Yyyess!!! I was so hopping for an update to that story! In fact, i reread it a few days ago in anticipation
Also, that's gonna be interesting. For once a character that will know beforehand what poko is