Anniversary · 7:09am Feb 20th, 2018
So, Bushkeeper turns a year old today.
A month ago—the beginning of January—I told myself to slog through my work and at least try to finish Bushkeeper. As of today, I realize I've done nothing of worth for the story. In fact, I've found it increasingly harder to find the desire to write for... anything, really. What's apparent is that I'm only able to write blogs complaining about my lackluster progress.
At this point, I'm not sure if it's even worth... well, my time, to even continue working on the story. Let me explain.
I'm already deep into this, so I can't pull out now; I'm going to reevaluate where to go from here. Bushkeeper has brought me many sleepless nights, weekends spent shut-in rather than socializing, but in the end, a much more profound respect for real authors. It's been a learning experience about myself I won't forget. And yet, I already know many of you have forgotten what Bushkeeper is. I myself, have lost sight and feeling in the storytelling, and I've now left myself only the heavy conscience of delay overhead.
I came here to read. A user named Soaring got me to write. I wrote some stuff. I cheered over a like, laughed alongside a dislike. I got excited with the prospect of having a real tangible life goal; write better. And I wrote. There were many rejects, but as you can see, at least 11 of them have reached my standards for posting online.
On March 4th, 2017, my passion project—Bushkeeper—was featured at a 21-0 like-to-dislike ratio. I was ecstatic. Just a few days prior, I'd gathered up the courage to show the 17 like success I'd had to a friend who'd no idea I was a brony. She told me that the story was cute.Hearing those words were what made me want to keep going.
Soon enough, what was originally meant to be a 10 chapter story about a teenager and some ponies, quickly rose into a bi-weekly update that kept the story's heart pumping in the feature box for days on end. I contribute the wide success of the story to this idea, but also with credit to the 'cuteness' of the ponies that inhabit the world of Bushkeeper.
Bushkeeper... is no longer written out of passion, but obligation.
I am no longer kept awake by my fingers swaying across the keyboard, but out of a desire to avoid thinking about the story.
It is no longer cute and fluffy, it is grim and full of plot holes.
I've grown up, and so has Bushkeeper.
Looking back, the story helped me become a better author; for this reason alone, I know I should stop, because I can do better now.
But I guess like, I care about my readership? Maybe? Well, yeah, I like you guys. All the comments pointing out the flaws especially; it really kept me going, knowing that I could take your words and fix things, and in return, give you guys some more enjoyment. But uh... it's just, not fun anymore. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm slow at writing and have no patience; a nasty combination. Maybe it's because I spend too much time playing video games. Maybe it's because I'm just lazy. But those were all there from the day I started writing the story, so what's changed? I've been talking about growth but... it's all been positive so far. I don't need constant readership to keep me going; the initial burst from my first feature had been enough to sustain me. I know this is still fun, but the fact that I'm trying to emulate storytelling instead of actually doing storytelling isn't.
I guess... Bushkeeper isn't what Bushkeeper was meant to be. And I just have to deal with that, I s'pose.
We can do this, right? I don't think I can, but I sure as hell can try. For now, Bushkeeper will remain on incomplete. If the story has not been updated by May 20th, 2018, then I will consider dropping it into hiatus and picking it up in 2019.
In the event that I never do anything with Bushkeeper again, or end up deleting it off of the site... well, I can't imagine myself doing either of those. Maybe I'm just overexaggerating.
I think I'll be fine.
I'm sorry to hear that you've lost your passion for the story. While I of course hope you find it again, my greater hope is that you find something new to get stuck into. Unfinished stories are nothing new: it's the opposite that's rare. But not having a proper ending won't take back the enjoyment I had with what there is, and if you can find something else that I can enjoy as well then so much the better.
I never forgot Bushkeeper.
Perhaps, you could scour through Bushkeeper's comments section for authors to invite into your brainstorming process, an outside professional that alresdy likes your work is a great sounding board to help reorient yourself!
if you remake bushkeeper from the ground up then I would read every chapter you have my support dude
I certainly haven’t forgotten Bushkeeper. After the last few revelations, I was all set (and excited) for it to take off in a brand new direction. It had traded cute for grittiness and there was definitely room to run there. However, there is also disillusionment in the last few chapters, and I’m not surprised that this echoed through the characters back to the author. As a loyal reader, as much as I’d like to see the story completed, I don’t want to see the author suffer.
Something I always thought would be nice for an aborted story would be if the author would post a last chapter sketching out where the story was going and how it was going to end. I don’t know if it would actually work, but it would be fun to see how the story might have gone.