Random Ramblings CCV · 6:59am Nov 12th, 2017
IN WHICH MY LIFE GETS FLIP-TURNED
Upside down. Yes, I went there. No, I'm not sorry. I wasn't expecting to write another blogpost so soon, but I just wanted to let y'all know that a capital offense has been provisionally completed. I still need to go back and edit it because I already found a mistake, but I'll do that later. In the meantime...
I got a call this morning, informing me that come the first of next year, I will have myself a housemate. I've been living alone for over a year and, yes, complaining about it. However, I'm an only child, so I'm used to being alone for long stretches. I lived alone for years before my ex moved in with me because she was about to lose her apartment; after seven years, I got used to her being around, y'know?
So, I'm not exactly overjoyed about this turn of events. In fact, I'm terrified. Mostly because the person coming to live with me is a MAJOR neat-freak and my ex still has a lot of her stuff here and she's made it so I can't get in touch with her easily to nag her about it. She hated my nagging more than almost anything else. But, y'know, I'm the man, so that means by default I'm the bad guy. Even though the primary reason she left was for selfish reasons (not that she'd admit it to anyone but me, and she did have other legit causes to kick me to the curb) and my home is still filled with her junk. Nope, I've got a penis -- this should not be a shock to anyone here -- so everything must be my fault...
Maybe, being an unrepentant leftist yet reading so much 3rd-Wave Feminist garbage (think Sarkeesian rather than Faust) while already hating myself, I've simply internalized the prevailing narrative. Having a bevy of male sexual predators suddenly being paraded across the news -- plus the one in the White House -- doesn't help.
I don't know if my view is true or if it's only in my mind. It's hard to tell when you're as messed up in the head as I am -- Legitimately Diagnosed™, I'll have you know. None of that bullshit "self-diagnosis" here, and I have the pillz to prove it. Speaking of which, need to take my last round for the night. If you'll please excuse me. *gulp*
So, uh, yeah. I feel guilty that there's no way I'll be able to finish my "real" story by tomorrow. It's the one One Does Not Deny A Lady came out of, but I obviously need to rewrite it again to remove all the MLP/EQG elements I threw in there to attempt a fun Halloween story for y'all. My ex's birthday is on Monday and she helped inspire the story, along with the Yandere Simulator video game. NO, I don't stalk her; I don't even know where she lives anymore aside from the city.
Even though I've been publishing stuff here again and have inspiration to do more, I feel like I've failed as a writer as my original work has stalled. But I promised myself I'd get this story done. I do my best to keep my promises.
Does the fact that I regularly use "y'all" in these posts make me look like an idiot? I am a Southerner and use it in regular speech. Listening to me, most people wouldn't suspect I have a degree. Not sure if my writing gets it across or not. A couple of readers have encouraged me to do readings of my own stories, but my voice, as I think I've said before, is "Redneck Garfield". My ex would ask me to talk to her about stuff she didn't care about because my voice is so sonorous and has such a regular cadence (to compensate for my nervous stammer) that it literally puts people to sleep. People on Youtube REALLY hate Southern accents, I've noticed, and I have the "dumbest"-sounding one of all -- Upland-Mid-South.
CoffeeMinion, if you read this, please read Post CCIV. I apologized to you because I sent you the last two entries of the Recovery Arc, not expecting another friend on this site would inspire me to write another entry taking place before those. Well, that's the way it goes sometimes. ACO is completed but still needs fine-tuning. Soon, I hope, my next Sunset story will be ready.
I appreciate everyone who's commented and sent me well-wishes these last few blogposts. If I didn't have y'all (there I go again)... well, I'd probably still post stories here, but it wouldn't be nearly as fulfilling. Thank you all. I hope never to let you down.
Peace out!
Sou, I am trying to come out of the too-long cryogenic freeze I went into during November (that didn’t end at the end of November and seems to have devoured most of December) to get this damn novel I’ve been writing finished off. You are like... #2 on the list of people I need to apologize to for just dropping off the face of the damn planet. Anyway I’m catching up on my feed and everything (trying to start from way back) and just saw this. Will work on re-acclimating myself to current state and will check out CCIV...