Sep
22nd
2017
Two Things I Hate: · 3:25am Sep 22nd, 2017
Big-ass spiders, and big-ass spiders with a sense for the theatrical.
Confused? let me catch you up to speed:
Exactly a week ago, when I went to take the garbage out: I ran face-first into a spiderweb so thick I could see it. On the ground right in front of me was a bunch of feathers from a blue jay. The bird itself? Nowhere to be seen.
My immediate thought?
One word: Nope!
Just now, I was walking back in from taking the garbage out. Wouldn't you know it? Right in front of the stairs that lead into our house from the garage, a large mosquito was hanging by it's feet from the same kind of web. As if to say "Remember that guy? He's still here, motherb***er!"
That's a big ol' bag of
N - O - P - E
NO! I don't mind spiders when they eat flies... But not birdies!
NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM
Dang... that's scary...
4675060
It was either the spider, or a cat. I'm really hoping it was a cat, because we have no indigenous bird-eating spiders here...
4675061
Bruh.
4675062
Eeyup.
4675065
And don't get me started on the movie Arachnophobia... that spider is BIG!
4675068
Yup.
Nope
Spiders are fine. (In a creepy way)
Hate spiders!!!
img35.laughinggif.com/pic/HTTP2kuaW1ndXIuY29tL3ZHcEJqelMuZ2lm.gif
4675065
You just need to be worried if you start seeing shoes or wallets on the ground in front of webs....
4675072
Oh, I think they're beautiful creatures...
... when they're behind glass, or far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far away.
4675077
4675074
Essentially my sentiments.
4675080
Thankfully, that only happens in south america and the congo... thus far, anyways.
4675084
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballooning_(spider)
4675063
Same!! Bird eating spiders are scary
4675085
Well, thankfully, tarantulas can't do that. Plus, it's been speculated that these "mega-spiders" have a different biology than the other, smaller spiders...
Though that is food for thought. I'll get to researching that when I write for the Bark-Spiders...
cirtypc si thin critcpy
It's not unheard of for spiders to eat birds, there are some that even prey on bats in the wild.
4675094
Did you know you are never three feet away from a spider?
4675096
Right, I know that. But to quote a comment below:
That's the main concern.
4675101
Yes, actually. It's oddly comforting, because I can deal with the smaller ones... well enough.
It's the big 'uns that get me.
4675103
Like the one under your bed?
4675104
I like you.
4675105
Thanks!
4675107
No problem.
Oh ya those are fun.
4675125
Totally
BOO!
pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/521523392126930944/Hu-GV0mw_400x400.jpeg
4675150
4675130
I have the types of spiders that make the massive yet wire thin kind of webs late in the evening, then early in the morning they tear it down.
4675204
Jeez. Are they poisonous?
4675151
Sorry.
4675350
Fire,I'm just joshing you, you're fine.
4675210
Not that I'm aware of, they are the type that hunt insects in the late evening to early morning hours.
4675370
Well, that's good. Sounds kind of pleasant, actually. We've got some big fuckers over here- some venomous -and most of them certainly ain't shy of daytime!
Step 1. Get knife
Step 2. Go outside
Step 3. Knife, meet web
Step 4. Wait and see if SOB makes another web
If it does...
Step 5. Lighter, meet web
4675379
I bet.
4675406
Step 6:
media.tenor.com/images/10c57ddad1561bd97445dd05ad4bd1b2/tenor.gif
4675433
This is actually a
better reaction than that gif.