I Just Finished a Disney Marathon · 7:10pm Aug 22nd, 2017
Thanks for the birthday wishes, guys. I had a pretty awesome birthday--the solar eclipse was cool (even if I didn't see totality where I live), had some of my favorite dinner and dessert on Sunday, and my sister and I got to finish our Disney Marathon with my new Moana DVD.
Since we had been doing the marathon all summer with the entire Disney Animated Canon (56 movies, guys!), it's safe to say that I've formed my opinions of each movie, from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves to Moana.
Ponymojis mark my feelings as follows:
Love it!
Like it.
Okay, I guess.
Didn't like it.
ALL OF MY HATRED!
What the heck did I just watch?
Okay, let's see...
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
~Snow White is a mother, and the dwarfs are her children.
Pinocchio
~Okay, but imagine how awkward it'd be for Pinocchio to explain his origins when he's an adult.
Fantasia
~Okay, but the lava in that one segment looks like either cheese or tomato sauce at any given moment. I dunno, it looks delicious.
Dumbo
~So... would Dumbo still fly once he's a full grown elephant? Because that'd be terrifying.
Bambi
~I'm having trouble deciding if Flower or Thumper is the first Disney character to reproduce after on-screen twitterpation.
Saludos Amigos
~Jose Carioca is best reality-warping parrot. He's also the most memorable thing about this movie.
The Three Caballeros
~Panchito is best trigger-happy rooster with a fantastic singing voice. Wish he appeared in a more coherent movie.
Make Mine Music
~Peter and the Wolf and The Whale Who Wanted to Sing at the Met are things I've watched in my childhood and remember very well--especially the whale and his tragic end! 
Fun and Fancy Free
~According to Mickey and the Beanstalk, the live action world is the afterlife for cartoon characters.
Melody Time
~I barely remember anything from this film. Only Johnny Appleseed and Pecos Bill stuck out, the former only because I watched it as a kid.
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
~Toad's reaction to a motorcar is insanely quotable, and everyone in the Sleepy Hollow segment is a jerk.
Cinderella
~Why is Cinderella drawn without toes? No, really, every shot of her feet in this movie is toeless.
Alice in Wonderland
~After The Three Caballeros, this thing is tame in comparison. My problem with this one is that nearly everyone in this movie is an annoying jerk... especially the stupid Queen of Hearts, I want to strangle her.
Peter Pan
~Why is Wendy not allowed to have any fun? Also, add the careless egocentric jerk Peter Pan and the extremely annoying Lost Boys to my list of characters that I seriously want to strangle.
Lady and the Tramp
~I want my romantic spaghetti dinner with some guy serenading me and my date with an accordion. Now I have the mental image of Cheese Sandwich doing us just that favor. 
Sleeping Beauty
~The three fairies are the actual protagonists of this film and you can't convince me otherwise.
101 Dalmatians
~Why can't Bailey be a matchmaking dog like Pongo? I want her to sniff out a nice man for me.
The Sword in the Stone
~This movie is boring and kinda pointless... why was this my favorite when I was little?
The Jungle Book
~BAD THINGS HAPPEN WHEN BAGHEERA'S NOT AROUND!
The AristoCats
~I wonder if anybody in that neighborhood heard the loud jazz music, or saw those cats marching down the street playing broken instruments.
Robin Hood
~Forget an army, send Lady Cluck to fight your battles! She's like the ultimate football player...
The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh
~Fun fact, I was a big Winnie-the-Pooh fangirl back in the day... now I remember why. When watching this, I felt four again! 
The Rescuers
~The little girl's not even eight years old, and yet she's a better driver than the villain. Also, my sister kept singing the Rescue Aid Society theme for a while.
The Fox and the Hound
~The "Goodbye May Seem Forever" sequence is pretty much the only Disney scene that makes me legitimately tear up.
But on the other hand, Chief should've died--because now everyone's overreacting to a broken leg.
The Black Cauldron
~This movie is an incredibly disjointed mess, and the freakin' pig is the best character--everyone else is dull, annoying, or useless. My sister even threw a tantrum after the movie was over.
The Great Mouse Detective
~Both the hero and the villain are absolutely insane and I love it.
Oliver and Company
~Dodger the siren dog commands every dog to howl and strut down the streets of New York with his singing.
The Little Mermaid
~How funny that the beginning of the Disney Renaissance was our halfway point in this marathon.
The Rescuers Down Under
~So, what was the point of that scene with the animals in McLeach's lair if we're not gonna see them again? I think there'd be more of a point to it if they had escaped and aided in the climax...
Beauty and the Beast
~This movie keeps following me around this year. My desire to spite the completely unneeded live action remake, my cousin's BatB-themed wedding, then watching this in our marathon. Let's not forget the parallels between this and The Rock Farmer's Daughters everyone made back in the day... it's a good thing that Cheese was not a beast in that story...
Aladdin
~I'm not even going to mention the elephant in the room and why it was so painful to watch this again, even though I enjoy it.
The Lion King
~Is it wrong that whenever I watch this movie, I always half-expect Mufasa to wake up after the stampede?
Pocahontas
~Side character Thomas had a more interesting story than the boring leads' utterly pretentious and chemistry-less Romeo and Juliet knockoff, the animal sidekicks are not that funny (especially that hummingbird, the most pointless character in Disney history), the villain's annoying with his gold obsession, and if the only thing you can say is wrong about Kocoum is that he's "serious", I don't think he's that bad of a guy (problem's more of suddenly arranged marriage anyway). Also, magic randomly happens because magic--remove the language barrier in an instant, so we don't have to waste time on actually interesting interaction!
Yeah, you butcher history, and not even in an engaging way like what was done with Balto and Anastasia. Ugh...
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
~Why does Frollo have to be so grim about everything, including religious ABC's? Most normal Christians would go "A is for Angel!" while he makes Quasimodo go "A is for Abomination".
Hercules
~I wonder who thought that gospel and soul mixed with (yeah, I know, butchered) Greek Mythology? Ah, well, it's still a lot of fun.
Mulan
~I consider the Chi Fu guy to be the ultimate dishonor.
Tarzan
~Okay, I'm convinced that Tarzan's a genius. Absolutely no human interaction until adulthood, and yet, he can tie knots and create tools like a freakin' spear as a kid. Makes me wonder what he'd be like had he grown up in human civilization.
Fantasia 2000
~That Firebird gets me every time.
Dinosaur
~It's fun nicknaming these characters--the Devilsaurus, the Grannysaurus, the Doggysaurus, the Jerkasaurus... and the Love Monkey.
The Emperor's New Groove
~As much as this movie is pure comedy gold, I do wonder what the original Kingdom of the Sun movie would have been like.
Atlantis: The Lost Empire
~Interesting concept, but the execution leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don't like most of the characters, and it reduces one of those I do like into Crystal Damsel-in-Distress that looks absolutely stupid for not fighting back in Crystal Form (I mean, wouldn't Crystal Warrior Kida have been awesome?). Not to mention I don't like the "our culture is dying" plot point, it makes the extremely long-lived Atlanteans (especially the king) look like morons. All in all, this movie is such a major disappointment that hits so many of my pet peeves.
Lilo and Stitch
~Honestly, I prefer Lilo and Nani's more down-to-earth struggles over Stitch's antics. Doesn't mean they're not funny, though.
Treasure Planet
~The cyborg-alien pirate guy was a better father to the protagonist than the protagonist's actual father.
Brother Bear
~This movie makes me happy as all heck, but I do concur on how we really don't need the unfunny moose and that their exclusion would have benefited the movie (I mean, I'd accept a sign from spirit mom for Koda to forgive Kenai, instead of the moose's dumb brotherly spat).
Home on the Range
~How does a movie manage to be bizarre, utterly generic, and somehow thirst-inducing all at the same time?!
Chicken Little
~Why didn't the alien invasion kill everyone at the end? I hate every single moron, jerk, and moronic jerk in this movie!
Meet the Robinsons
~ Eh... look, I get that they're trying to go for "lovably quirky" with the titular family, but most of them are just a bunch of personality-less weirdos that are only differentiated by their schtick, and it quickly bores me. The T-Rex had the most personality--in only two scenes!
Bolt
~The method acting used in this movie is so unnecessarily complicated just to fool one dog. Not to mention I think it's animal abuse.
The Princess and the Frog
~"Evangeline" is our running joke that led up to this movie.
Tangled
~Okay, I admit it... I don't like the chameleon. It absolutely did not need to be there and I don't find it funny. And where the heck did it come from? Chameleons aren't exactly common in medieval Europe...
Winnie the Pooh
~THE BACKSON! THE BACKSON! THE BACKSON!
Wreck-It Ralph
~This still has the best plot twist of the Disney Villain plot twists.
Frozen
~The movie that manages to be overrated and overhated at the same time. I do think the first two acts are pretty strong, but then the third act just falls apart with the worst of the Disney Villain plot twists and just beating you over the head with its "love" lesson. For goodness' sake, this movie didn't need a villain!
Big Hero 6
~ All hail Baymax, the Cherry Marshmallow! He sacrificed his marshmallow body to the Galactic Cotton Candy to save the villain's daughter! But don't worry, he got a new marshmallow body.
Zootopia
~It's amazing how much thought was put into a society of animals that still have some animalistic traits, rather than just making them humans in animal skin.
Moana
~ I swear, the chicken's immortal. No, really, it's been around since Moana was around two, and it doesn't die in situations it really shouldn't survive. So who's the real demigod around here...?
And a few running jokes in the marathon:
~*scene shows big, bright star* "EVANGELINE!"
~*something weird happens* "Jose..."
~*makes a bad pun* *points to each other with "EEEEEHHHH" noises*
~Some limited to individual movies, which you should be able to pick out from the list above.
Anyway, the marathon was fun, and I dare you people to try it sometime (I'm sure you'll be able to find these movies online). Who knows, maybe you'll notice something in the older movies that you didn't before, or find something new to love or hate.
If I do another movie marathon in the future, the next category's going to be Pixar movies.
Sounds like a lot of fun, and a great day to spend a birthday.
You may be interested in the Disney Read-Watch, a compare-and-contrast rundown of various Disney films and their source material that also acts as a fascinating history of the studio.