Feeling down · 12:48am Jul 19th, 2017
You all know how each and every person is different, right? Some may need a huge crowd around them, and some are trying to avoid attention at all cost. Usually, I belong to the latter category. I like to have my own space and be alone, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to communicate with other people. Not at all. I like a good conversation.
It's just when I'm actually trying to say something, ask help or, anything really, people just seems to vanish around me. I mean, I'd appreciate if people told me what's wrong instead of giving me the silent treatment. I get it, life is hard and I cannot see behind other people screens, but at least tell me what's going on. At this very moment, I'm feeling quite sad and lonely. I feel like I'm completely alone and nobody cares.
I rarely get any comments on my blogs, let alone on my stories. I try my very best and it leads me nowhere. What is even worse, I blame myself for everything. I blame myself that people don't reply back to me and I blame myself that they don't keep their promises. I always try to be kind, understanding and discreet, yet it gives me nothing in return.
I understand that some people are only joking around, but the words can still hurt - a lot. This doesn't have anything to do with the Fimfiction, but I still want to point it out as it happened to me today. I know it was just a joke, but still, it wasn't a nice one. In one sentence, this person made me feel really bad. On top of that, many other people read the line too and may now think the same way about me. I was just stunned because I barely knew the person and still he/she talks me down like that.
Back to this site again...
Most likely, no one is going to reply anything here either. Mysteriously, people still open my blogs and stories and apparently uses their time to read them, but they never write anything. I try to avoid opening them myself as it also registers my views, which is pretty weird. So I know people have read them. No, I'm not forcing you to reply anything, but it'd mean so much to me.
So... Right now, I have no news about my stories. I could post two more chapters in a matter of few hours, but... I don't know... Everything I do feels so pointless. But, is it, really? I don't know anymore. My editors who have read "The Power Within" have said that I'm a phenomenal writer and that my story is simply amazing. Were those words even truthful, I'm starting to have my doubts. It's really hard for me to trust people as it is, let alone if they compliment my work or promise me something.
This is starting to get really long now, but frankly, I don't really care. I'm just so lonely...
This picture, though... Nailed it...
Oh, I see the title 'The Power Within' is already taken. I'll have to think of a new one for my novel then. It's a shame. I kind of liked that one.
As for your feelings, here's what helps me:
I'm alone in this world. There aren't any humans in the whole planet. It's just the way of things.
Then, a portal opens. My curiosity forces me to step through it.
I end up on this planet that is the same as the one I came from, just that there are other people around. THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE! How great is that?
I don't need to form deep relationships with them to appreciate what I have. Just by looking at the stranger across the street, I am performing something that was impossible in my previous world.
This world. It's incredible. Can't you see it?
4607723
You could still use it one way or another if you want, I don't really mind.
Aww, now I feel bad for having it.
It's a bit foggy, but I can see something. I'm not entirely sure if I got what you were trying to say, though. My mind loves to overthink things. Personally, I might not go through the portal at all. We all know what happened to the cat.
But on a more serious note, I really do appreciate what we have. I feel somewhat better today and I even managed to publish a new chapter. I may release the next one tomorrow. They have been ready for days, but I just couldn't bring myself to release them for some reason.
4607755 It's okay, I have some other ideas that might work:
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/749991/help-me-think-of-a-title-for-my-story
It's probably overused, anyway. Google shows half a million results for "The Power Within".
If a portal were to open before me, and was closing fast, I'd probably walk through it. I only have my life to lose, and that's unavoidable, anyway.
I'm glad to hear you're publishing. What we create will probably outlive us all. In a sense, what we create is more important than we are.
4607761
I like the current title you have. I put your story it in the "read it later" folder as I noticed you are going to finish it and I shall start reading it once it's completed.
Yeah, it's probably been used a lot, but at least it fits. I've never been good with names or titles. For example, I can easily use an hour thinking of a name for a character in some MMORPG game.
That is so true. Once I have finished my stories, I'm ready to go through the portal as well.
4607782 My novel is actually finished.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Y1I6tdbz9vOcIlpfRryC2Iv8lskIDLVLYlhxWISRdW8/edit#
I'm just putting the final editing touches on it.
I know what you mean with MMORPG characters. I actually wrote a program that helped me name the characters by producing all possible variations within the given parameters.
Oh, and you'll never be done with writing. For every story you write, 2 ideas will pop into your head that will force you to write them. Writing is a corruption that keeps on spreading. You're already infected and you'll never be cured of it.
4607799
Ah, good to know. I might take a look at it tomorrow. Or when it's on the site.
I sometimes use name generators I find from google. They only give me an idea and I will come up with the rest.
Haha, I know what you mean. I already have 5 other stories waiting in line. Some of them might never be written, but I'm sure there will always be that next great idea waiting around the corner. Fortunately, I only have two stories on that list that I simply must write or finish and I really doubt there will be more of those. One of them being The Power Within and other being a PinkieShy ship. Sure there will always be other stories, but I don't necessarily need to finish them.
But I'm off to bed now, gn.
4607845 It might be a while before it gets published. I'm not capable of releasing chapters as fast as you are.
I have like 200 story ideas already. My life is forfeit.
Good night, friend.