Random Ramblings CXLVI - P.D.P 5

IN WHICH I GOT STUCK FOR NEARLY A YEAR
This is the fifth (technically seventh) in a six-part (technically eight) series. Here's Part 1, wherein you can find links to all other parts. Because cross-linking everything is tedious.

You know what really grinds my gears? A lot of things, actually, but today I want to talk about one thing in particular -- Bradford Pear trees, an invasive species people like to use as an ornamental. They're in bloom right now and it's messing with my sinuses. If I was leader of the free world, I would try to get Congress to appropriate money to eradicate Bradford Pears (and assist the labs trying to bring back the American Chestnut). I'd also do other things that'd probably make me even less popular than a certain fake-haired orange pony I killed off in the EQG-verse, but that's a story for another day. What was I talking about again? Oh right. Pinkamena.

The reason I didn't post this when it was ready to go was because I wanted the Babs Seed synopsis to get more exposure, because I genuinely loved writing that one. But, the plot must go on. Or, in this case, sputtered on and eventually limped to the finish line. Follow me past the jump for more canon-defiling weirdness.

Part Five, begun sometime on or after October 2013, is the shortest of the "chapters" I actually wrote, at 8,000 words. In fact, if it weren't so disjointed it could qualify as a single chapter in itself, since plenty of authors on this site habitually write longer chapters. In fact, the Babs Seed "spinoff" -- which could easily qualify as a fanfic on its own were it not so intimately entwined with this overarching story -- is longer, at 8,600 words; I also had a lot more fun writing it.

With this main story part, I got bogged down having to write yet another backstory -- this time in very distinct language -- and ended up leaving it lay until finally working up the guts to finally finish it nearly a year later because I knew how it was supposed to go and I hated seeing it incomplete.

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P.D.P. - Part V

There is something to be said for the standard conceit: Ponyville Leads Equestria In Disasters.

The part opens just after an accident at the Cloudsdale Cloud Factory combined with the Everfree Forest to blanket all of Ponyville in fog that the weather ponies can't deal with. It'd dissipate on its own in, like, a month.

Spike goes to visit Mayor Mare in her office -- yes, you can say my "Mayor's Break Time" stories had their genesis here -- because the mayor wanted Spike to send another letter to Celestia asking for help in dealing with the fog because it's such a burden. Spike reluctantly sends the letter and then the Mayor offers him a glass of bourbon as part of a drinking game. It's an homage to a scene in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy -- the Mayor plays to lose. Before Spike can drink, he gets a scroll from Celestia basically telling the Mayor to fuck off. Spike leaves as Mayor Mare throws a temper tantrum.

Spike gets lost in the fog and accidentally gets on the road out of town. He crashes into a pony he's never seen before and they end up in the ditch. The pony is a dull-coloured overweight mare who appears to be middle-aged. They are rescued by Derpy Ditzy-Doo from the future, who loads them into The Doctor's wagon and takes them back to Golden Oaks. Ditzy leaves the unconscious pony in the library's main room over Spike's objections, because she's afraid of Twilight seeing her.

By this point, my dislike of Twilight as a character is in full force, as she's a massive bitch throughout most of this part. I do enjoy this exchange:

“If you want anything done right you have to do it yourself,” groused Twilight as she stomped nearer to the shelf to move the offending book. On the way she tripped over the unconscious mare, tumbling comically forward a few feet, yet took no notice of her.

“Spike! I thought I told you to have this book pile cleaned up by the time I came down! Don’t you understand how nasty such a mess looks?!” Twilight gestured over to the pony she still thought was a pile of books. “And dangerous! Anypony could have been killed by tripping over this…” and finally she noticed what was in front of her, “…pile?”

“Twilight?” asked Spike gently, fearful of the inevitable explosion.

“What is this?!?” Twilight practically screamed.

“What’s what?” Spike put on an air of innocence. It didn’t work.

“There’s a pony I’ve never seen before sleeping in the middle of my library!”

“Technically it’s not your library,” Spike corrected, “It’s Ponyville’s.”

“Whatever. Why is there a pony here? Who is she? Did I open this place to the public while I was asleep? No. You’ve got some explaining to do, Spike!”

Before Spike could be punished, the mare wakes up. She speaks in a distinctly stilted accent and is shocked to see a Unicorn and practically terrified to see a (baby) Dragon.

Spoiler Alert: It's Marble Pie. She is wearing a bracelet on her foreleg made out of pink stone. This is important later.

Marble speaks in stilted language that is NOT Elizabethan (like Luna or the Pie parents) -- it was actually very difficult to come up with and write, as it involved finding a Germanic equivalent of nearly every word where we nowadays use a French-derived version (it's called "Anglish", and I suggest not looking too deep into it, as I discovered it was very popular with White supremacist types). Her speech pattern was one big reason it took me so long to write this part.

Pinkamena shows up at the library, wanting to talk to Twilight about the fog. Of course, she sees her little sister there and is so happy her mane curls a little. Twilight leaves so the two can catch up.

Of course the first thing Pinkamena asks is: "What happened to you?" See, Marble had always been the pretty one in the family; now she was nearly twice Ponk's size and looked significantly older than her despite being younger (remember, I wrote this long before the show stated they're twins). Knowing how her clan works, Pinkamena asks again, "What did they do to you?"

Marble tells her backstory. She was married off to Cornrow of the Grist Clan, whose family lives on the other side of Trottingham from the Pie's rock farm and runs a grist mill (natch). At first, her husband is decent enough. But his little brother tries to get her to have an affair. After Marble refuses him, he tells Cornrow that Marble has been fucking half the stallions in the mill. An obvious lie but, remember how I said in Part 2 that Tarpanites are extremely Patriarchal? Yeah, the head of the family didn't believe her and declared her a hussy. Cornrow goes berserk, takes her back to their place, beats the crap out of her, then rapes her (well, Tarpanite law doesn't recognize martial rape as a thing, but it is). The next day she's shunned at work and the pony she spurned slaps her, then that night she's raped again.

NOTE: I never use the word "rape" in this story -- I have more class than that -- Marble actually says, "He had me." which I thought was nice and Biblical and got the point across without smacking the reader over the head.

Well, Marble gets knocked up and gives birth to a colt. After that, the other stallions decide she's the mill's bicycle and try to have their way with her. Even though she constantly says no, her husband still punishes her for their lust. A second pregnancy and constant stress causes her to swell up like a balloon. That plus foal No.2 also being a colt means the Grist Clan has no more use for her. She's no longer pretty enough to be desirable to anyone, including her husband. They give her two options -- stay with Cornrow and keep popping out foals, or work in the gristmill until the day she dies. She chooses Option 2 until her youngest foal is old enough to not need her all the time, then runs away. Fast forward to today.

Pinkamena invites her little sister to stay with her in Ponyville, but Marble insists she must leave before sundown. Ponk also makes note of the bracelet -- a Tarpanite wedding band -- and asks why she still wears it. Marble says it's out of loyalty to her children, which Ponk reluctantly accepts. Marble also lets slip that she knows Pinkamena once lived in Fillydelphia (even though neither Ponk nor Maud ever told her), but Ponk doesn't catch that one. Then Ponk leads Marble out of town to the edge of the fog.

Late that night, Marble approaches an abandoned hilltop village (my image was W.O.W's Western Plaguelands) where she meets three ponies and informs them that Pinkamena Diane Pie is hiding in Ponyville. Yup, it's the Clayhoof brothers from Part 2, still looking for Ponk after all these years -- turns out Marble lied to Ponk about at least some of her backstory and the Clayhoof Clan is holding her children hostage in Trottingham.

The part ends with Dustbowl Clayhoof ordering his brothers to "gather the fellows", with the implication that they will attack Ponyville.

END PART 5

Guess what? That's all there is! The story ends on a cliffhanger! I never wrote Part 6! I did, however, plan at least some of it out, and I'll describe it in tomorrow's blogpost.