Random Ramblings CXLV - P.D.P 4-2 · 11:50pm Mar 2nd, 2017
IN WHICH I DISCUSS MY FAVOURITE SIDE-STORY
This is the fourth… point-two… in a six-part series. Here's Part 1, wherein may be found links to all other parts. Cross-linking everything takes time I don't have right now. Sorry.
I got out today for a much-needed breath of fresh air. It helped clear my mind (though not my sinuses). I feel slightly more inclined to start writing actual fiction for you again, but I must finish this series of blogposts first. Today, I wrote the synopsis to Part V before leaving, but realized it was probably better to talk about this side-story first, as it is a direct continuation of Part IV. So follow me past the jump for a piece of writing I truly enjoyed creating.
In my files, this is listed as a spinoff of Part V but, like I said, it really isn't. It also happens to be about 600 words longer than the actual Part V – 8,600 vs 8,000. I began this story on Halloween 2013 but I have no idea how long it took me to write. What I can say is that I finished it long before I ever finished Part V. I'm actually kind of proud of this piece of fiction. Sadly, I can't publish it at all because it is so intertwined with P.D.P.'s continuity, particularly Part IV. Also, it stars Babs Seed, one of the least popular characters in the show. I like her, but I know I'm the minority.
P.D.P - SIDE STORY 4-2: "Family"
The story opens with Babs Seed getting off the train at Manehattan's Grand Central Terminal. I describe it in as much detail as I can to give the reader a feel of how gargantuan it is. In fact, this chapter has a fair deal of descriptive narration about parts of Manehattan to make the place feel more alive, which was a nice change of pace from the largely dialogue-driven Part V. Of course, there's a good deal of dialogue in this story too, but I'll get to that soon.
Oh, before I go any further, I need to tell you that every named pony in this story speaks with a "Manehattan" accent just like Babs. Also, Manehattan ponies use actual curse words, which most of Equestria does not.
Babs leaves the train station and makes her way to her adoptive parents' apartment in a run-down part of the city called Upper Docktown (separate from the gentrifying Lower Docktown). On the way, she has to cross a section of the Industrial District. There, she runs into a schoolmate, a Unicorn filly named Garnet who basically serves as Manehattan's Diamond Tiara, only worse. See, DT only has Silver Spoon, who is mostly harmless; Garnet has two tough fillies to serve as her muscle -- a Pegasus named Roman Candle (nickname "Sparky") and an Earthpony named Delilah (yes it's a Biblical reference; no I'm not religious). Garnet is also known to be seeing - and probably fucking (illegally) - a local hood named Two-Bit, who is basically a charismatic evil greaser that no pony wants to mess with because of his gang of hoodlums.
Babs just wants to be left alone, but Garnet starts shit-talking Babs -- beginning with calling her fat (an insult that recurs several times throughout this story) and ending with this:
“Don’t know why,” Garnet mused, “No one likes you. Even your own parents hate you. It’s all they talk about when you’re gone. Think how much better their lives woulda been if you hadn’t landed on their doorstep. You’ll never belong anywhere. You’re a mistake who never shoulda been born.”
Naturally that sets Babs off and she punches Garnet in the face, which gives Garnet the excuse she needs to have her girls beat Babs up badly and steal her saddlebags. We're talking "kicked into a brick wall twice then stomped on till one of her ribs breaks" badly.
As Babs limps home, several ponies see her but no one is willing to help her because her haircut (caused by Garnet -- note that I wrote this before we knew cosmetology was her special talent) makes them think she's a hoodlum. Admittedly, Babs is no saint, but still.
She makes it back to her apartment where she meets the building doorman and elevator operator, an orange stallion named Carlton (a reference to the 70's TV sitcom Rhoda and to Garfield). He's the only one who actually gives a shit about Babs, and asks if he needs to take her to a hospital. Babs says she's already late and doesn't want to get in any more trouble than she's probably already in.
When Babs makes it to her apartment, we meet her parents Sunflower and Mustard right away and I make it clear they look nothing like Babs. Also, they're incredibly nasty. When Sunflower sees Babs, she verbally berates her for several minutes for getting in yet another fight, complains about having to constantly apologize for Babs's misdeeds (word travels quickly in Docktown) then calls Mustard into the room. He's yellow and smokes cigars. He notices Babs's saddlebags are missing and hits her when she says they were stolen, yelling she probably fenced them for money, then demanded the (nonexistent) money.
It's worth noting here that the Seeds are under the impression that Babs is a serial liar, when in fact she isn't.
As Mustard berates her for lying about being bullied (she wasn't) and being a general disgrace, Sunflower lets this slip:
“Do ya know why we send ya ta Ponyville?” Sunflower asked, “It’s ‘cauz we was sick a’ ya always lyin’ ta us about bein’ bullied. We figured if ya wanted ta mess ponies up so bad, you could do it ta a buncha thicknecks. Then ya could see how country ponies deal wit’ troublemakers. Figure it’d finally scare ya straight. Guess it didn’t.”
This shook Babs out of her torpor, she turned around and locked eyes with Sunflower. “So you really didn’t care I was bein’ bullied. You just wanted to be get me outta the house.”
“Yeah,” Mustard replied, “An’ those Apples are the most gullible ponies I’ve ever seen! Who else would ever want to deal with a failure like you?”
Babs’s temper was close to hitting its boiling point. “Yeah? Well, I’ll tell you somethin’! The Apples were a hell of a lot nicer to me than you two ever were! You don’t know the first thing about family!”
Mustard kicks her across the room for that one. As Sunflower triumphantly stands over her expecting an apology like usual, Babs instead drops the bombshell: She asks why they never told her about her real parents.
At first the Seeds play dumb but then Babs says the Apples told her everything, which makes Mustard blurt out how he made sure the authorities never told the Apples any details. Then Babs informs them the Apples hadn't known either and Mustard just confirmed everything she had suspected (well, "was told", but I'll get to that in a second). She taunts them for being so convinced of her always being a liar that they couldn't tell when she actually lied. Mustard goes up to Babs in preparation to beat her half to death but Sunflower stops him, warning him CPS (Colt Protective Services) might be called if Babs looks too beaten up, also he might lose his job. Then this happens:
Sunflower decided to address her ‘daughter’ directly. “If they didn’t tell ya, who did?”
“My sister,” Babs bluntly replied.
“She’s still alive?!” Sunflower blurted out involuntarily.
This caught Babs off-guard, and served only to infuriate her. “You knew about her too? What else did you keep from me?”
Sunflower lights a cigarette and tells Babs everything.
She's actually Babs's aunt via her birth-father Wagener. Her one dream was to have a foal she could call her own. She married Mustard for that exact purpose -- also, his boss tends to promote "family stallions" -- but no foals came. She learned that she was barren. She formed a bond with her sister-in-law May Queen, who was also thought to be barren. But then May Queen adopted Pinkamena and then managed to conceive, which made Sunflower very very butthurt.
After Babs's real parents were murdered, Sunflower decided to stake a claim on Babs just to have the feeling of raising a foal. But she quickly realized that, for her twisted mind, only a direct biological progeny would satisfy her, and Babs wasn't it. Plus, Mustard had gotten used to not having children and had changed his mind about the whole thing. So basically, Babs grew up unwanted and resented. Sunflower runs down a laundry list of all Babs's failings, starting with her weight (even though Babs isn't that chubby). Then Sunflower admits the only reason they keep Babs around is because they heard May Queen had set her up a trust fund that would only be accessible once Babs grew up, and they want their hooves on that money. Mustard freely admits they plan to steal Babs's money and throw her out on the streets the first chance they get, which they assume is when she gets her cutie mark.
Babs then informs the Sunflower and Mustard that, after seeing nothing will change in Manehattan, she's leaving for good and moving to Ponyville. When they threaten to stop her, Babs says (semi-truthfully) the Apples already know her itinerary and if she doesn't return to Ponyville within the week, they'll likely come looking for her, and Big Macintosh could easily kick the crap out of Mustard… causing Mustard to snap and kick Babs into the wall. She coughs up a bit of blood. Then Mustard says:
“It don’t matter what you learned in Ponyville. It don’t matter what we did back then. The only thing that matters is the Law says we’re your parents. That means you belong to us, and you will DO WHAT WE TELL YA!!”
Babs started to feel her resolve waver. Still, she had come too far to back down now.
“I don’t give a fuck about the law! You two aren’t my parents anymore! You never were! I said I’m moving to Ponyville and there’s nothin' you can do to stop me! Even if you lock me up, I’ll get out! If you break my legs, I’ll crawl out!”
Babs then claims Pinkamena herself is on her way to Manehattan, that after learning about how Babs lived, Ponk wanted to see for herself. Sunflower and Mustard know damn well about that bounty on Ponk's head and are still terrified of her -- in their defense, that old Wanted poster makes Ponk sound extremely threatening.
Clearly worried, Sunflower tried a last-ditch effort at ‘reason’, “Are ya stupid?! You know your sistuh is a wanted criminal, right? You really wanna live with somepony so dangerous?”
“So what? At least she actually cares about me! Now are you gonna let me leave, or does she have to pay youse a visit and show you exactly why n’ how she got on all those Wanted posters?”
This finally causes them to back down and give Babs the space and time she needs to pack a duffel bag of her belongings -- including vital documents she secretly stole back from Sunflower -- and get the hell out. The last thing she says to them is a cryptic, "When you see it, you'll understand."
"It" turns out to be a note from Babs informing them Pinkamena was never coming to Manehattan, and that makes two lies of hers they've fallen for. "See ya, suckers!"
Twenty seconds later, livid, Sunflower and Mustard bolt out the door after Babs and find a taxicab waiting for them… which Babs had hired to take them on the "scenic route" to the train station while Babs took the direct route to buy herself some time.
Babs makes it to the station and through the turnstile just as Sunflower and Mustard get there. A guard stops them when they try to jump fare, and Babs does a terrible impression of Apple Bloom's accent to claim her dubiously adoptive parents are foalnappers and that she's just an innocent filly from Ponyville whose family is already on the train. This gets Sunflower and Mustard temporarily arrested and cuffed to a rail -- Sunflower pulls at her cuffs enough to draw blood and Mustard permanently damages his legs trying to break free. Babs leaves them with this:
“I’m not fat,” Babs stated with considerable anger. “I’m not dumb, I’m not worthless, and I’m not a little filly you or anypony else can boss around anymore. I know what real family and friends are. You don’t. Ya got a problem with that? How about crying about it, like you always do, ya crybabies?”
Sunflower and Mustard Seed do not take this well.
“Little cow! You’re a fucking disgrace!” Mustard sputtered, “When we get you back, I’m gonna beat your fat blank flank so hard you’ll never be able to stand again!!”
“And you WILL be back!” screamed Sunflower. “We’re gonna track you down and bring you back! No matter how much you try and hide, we will find you! Anypony gets in our way’s gonna end up like your stupid parents did! You can NEVER get away from us!!”
Babs is led by a kindly conductor into one of the sleeper cars and given a bottom-tier berth so she (clearly injured) does not have to climb. As the train leaves Manehattan for (eventually) Ponyville, she decides to follow Apple Bloom's lead and writes a letter to Princess Celestia. In it, she introduces herself and explains she learned the value of standing up for yourself and knowing when to walk away from a bad situation. Also, Family aren't always the ponies with whom you share blood, or even the ones with whom you grew up. They're the ones who truly care about you.
END SIDE-STORY
4454677 - It took me a long time to figure out how to write conclusions, both in fiction and academia. Nearly all of my early stories here end on a stinger because of that. I like to believe I've improved on that front.
Now that I've actually managed to pull a coherent outline for P.D.P VI out of my arse, I might finally be able to rework and complete the story. Not finishing it was always a shame of mine. Realize, though, that I am not known for being a fast writer and I'm already working (slowly) on other stories. But, with any luck, good things will come to those who wait.