A few excerpts from one of my favorite german book, translated for your reading pleasure. · 1:03am Feb 6th, 2017
"Henry Frottey entered into the mess hall and was immediately annoyed. Two women were talking shit about him, but it was okay because they used sign language and he didn't understand anything. He was still pissed off, though, so he chucked some ISLAM at them. BAM! Burkas! The women were distressed since they couldn't communicate with each other anymore, but they still tried. It looked like two black ghosts executing a complicated ghetto handshake."
Henry Frottey ate something every hour. Just in case someone was drowning, so he could say he wasn't allowed into the water just yet. After all, he was a detective, not a lifeguard
"Suddenly, a car with matted windows screeched around the corner and came to a screeching stop in front of him. The passenger door swung open, and the driver, a man wearing a black suit, hat, and sunglasses, called out to Henry.
"Get in the car! No time to explain!"
The neck hairs of the experienced detective stood on end as if electricity was running through him. For a long time, he had waited for this moment to come and had spent many years in preparation for it. Now, he knew exactly what he had to do and reacted immediately. He only needed a split second to correctly judge the situation and react accordingly. Hesitation in this situation wasn't appropriate nor required, whenever one was presented with such a once in a lifetime chance, you had to immediately grab it.
You shouldn't think about it, not doubt it or even question it, instead, you had to act in the very same moment, no second was allowed to be wasted. What sense would it make to hesitate or even stall for time, a lot of newbies just took too long because they immersed themselves in unnecessary thoughts and tribulations, like unsuspiciously looking to their left and right or propping up the hem of their coat.
But not him! Not Henry Frottey! He was a professional, and that's why he acted so unbelievably fast. So fast even, that to the uneducated eye it would look like the detective didn't take any time to react at all. Action - Reaction. The impulse didn't even bother to make the detour through his brain and instead expressed itself in a single word:
"NO!"
Shouted Henry and slammed the door closed, exactly like his mother taught him. Only amateurs got into a car with unknown men.
I assume it reads a lot better in German?
4410786 It's absolutely histerical. I did my best to translate it, but as is with translations, a lot of stuff tends to get lost.
4410798 'Tis a shame. I suck at learning languages
I don't get it, were the windows frosted or tinted?
This brings up some memories but they weren't funny. Someone offered me a job before I graduated from college and I regretted turning it down later becasue I didn't realize how difficult it would be to get one after I graduated. When I wasn't redirected to try some place else twenty miles away, they either acted like I had no formal education, or becasue my work experience is secretarial it didn't count in the 'real' world, or for a secretarial job it was becasue I hadn't worked at all even though six months of work was completed in nine weeks (and I still have back up copies for most of what I did during that nine weeks on a jump drive). Not to mention when I wasn't being gaslighted there were those trying to get me to reframe actual duties of the office, ones meant to help people, were reframed as criminal acts.
For instance, converting textbooks to word documents (using optical capture BS and a copy machine scanner), cleaning out the image fragments, and then using text to speech software to make CD's for the visually impaired was somehow a violation of the law (in their opinion). Downloading instructional manual PDF's or selections given by professors, and I mean actual professionals, was somehow theft. It was kind of like my sister telling me recently that she had 'stolen' a favorite T-shirt, one she had given me for my birthday three years earlier, and made me responsible for her crimes, when in all fairness I had no idea... and given that she is a pathological liar, it was more or less an act of disrespect whether or not the theft actually took place.
What book is it? Because it sounds funny.
4410848
That is a very interesting life experience.
Also, frightening.
4410848 I have troubles believing anything that you write, but I'm just going to give you the benefit of the doubt for now...
4410993 It's called: Henry Frottey: Sein erster Fall, zweiter teil, das ende der trilogie. And I seriously doubt it has been translated into anything since it's chock full of puns. (Translates to: Henry Frottey: His first case, part two, the end of the trilogie.) The author said it's a trilogie in one book, because he had to write less that way, and the reader doesn't have to read so much. A win-win situation.
4411108
Well, despite how terrible my job seeking experiences have been (as in more than 50% gaslight), I've always had really good jobs that people find enviable... payment issues not withstanding. And one day, I shall rule the world.