cleverpun's Concise Critiques #7 · 10:38pm Jan 7th, 2017
Unfortunately, not every critique can fill up a thousand word blog post. Here is a selection of reviews/critiques, in two sentences each.
"Applejack, Are We Poor?" by InsertAuthorHere:
This is a topic that needs more reasonable portrayals in fiction, but sadly this is not a reasonable portrayal. It's loaded with tell-y narration, character voice is off (particularly the way that Applejack and Apple Bloom change the formality of their speech haphazardly), and emotions are presented in extremely blunt ways.
In Young Eyes by Foals Errand:
This is also a topic that I was hoping would be portrayed well, but starts with awkward and overdone characterization (particularly of Luna but also of all the children in the story). The story is described in very amateurish ways, including things like LUS and blunt emotions, and it robs the story of feeling or verisimilitude.
