Help · 7:33am Oct 28th, 2016
I am writing this from bed. I normally don't do things like this, but I feel the need to make an exception.
Tomorrow, my father may potentially be going through open heart surgery to combat congestive heart failure. Possibly as a result of family history long suffering from chronic cardiac health problems. However, the relationship between me and my father has been.....strained for some time. As much as he tries to hide it, he has a deceptively explosive temper possibly brought on by ADD and lack of medication for it. Even his own brothers have voiced to me their awareness of his lack of patience.
As a result of too many disproportionate outbursts, I am now utterly terrified of the man and can no longer be comfortable or open around him and many do not or cannot understand why I am so distant with him now. But this does not mean I hate the man. It is...complicated. Can one love someone they fear?
To that end, I want to see him pull through and make a complete recovery. I am unsure of what the immediate future may hold if he does not pull through. I would appreciate any prayers one may have for him. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Here's to hoping everything improves.
I hope everything works out.
I hope he pulls through.
Hope for success and swift recovery.
I understand that you and your father are estranged (or something like that), but that is no reason to FEAR him. Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another, but perhaps after IF he pulls through (which i hope) there might be a chance to let go of the grudge and bitterness. If he feels better, he might understand that his misdeeds made him got him in such a situation. He probably needs soothing or comforting from ADD, like maybe a family reunion! By embracing your courage and love, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how such good actions can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being, like your Human OC , James, in 'The Lost Element'.
I know you said you want some prayers, just giving ya the answer for your question and confidence!
I can understand you problem's totally, and now with him in the hospital is the time to address them family wide, he (your father) is in a place he can not escape,(keep lying to his self) time for the hole family to band to gather for his own good and family wide peace of mind.
go to his doctor tell him of the underlying problems as I am betting the doctor has no clue and at this point the doctor really needs to know as it can affect his treatment.
I will stop here as I am hoping my line of thought has gotten across.
You have my prayers
....look back to mortal chaos good humanity. This is quite a similar predicament to what you had James go through after being afflicted and manipulated by Discord. While he still loved those dear to him, he was mortally afraid and even physically harmed by their presence. However, just like James and the girls, I feel you too can overcome this obstacle. Should your father make it through, perhaps it would be a good opportunity to slowly begin mending the wounds that have been wrought over time. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family in this time.
i kinda have a love/hate relationship with my dad too. he used to be a real jerk when i was younger, but he's mellowed out in the last few years. but i still get this uncomfortable tightening in my gut whenever he's around. close relationships are never easy...
So the gist is that your dad is undergoing a surgery, a surgery that has no small amount of effects on his health overall, and because it is a big thing, potentially dangerous, you want to involve yourself in this situation, but it involves getting close to a family member who, despite your love for them, utterly terrifies you.
I get that sometimes relations with your kin can be strained, but through most cases, you still don't hate them for it. Say your grandmother, whom you loved very dearly, very kind, and to everyone else a decent person in the very least, goes senile and turns sour and spiteful to anyone who dare approach her?
That happened and is happening to me, and it pains me to say such a thing, but I was actually terrified of her for a time, until I realized that she was being corrupted. It was not her, but a thing being done to her.
I still love her, and whenever she calls I take the opportunity to answer, spiteful or no. Occasionally the kind woman I grew up with is still there, and I cherish those moments whenever I can.
While my case is different than yours, it still applies. Was he intentionally trying to sever the rope that bound you together as kin? Or was it unintentional lashes that came from the lack of understanding of control?
I ask that because I used to be like your dad, (assuming there is nothing else you have to add to change that); take it from a guy who's on the Spectrum, and has a brother who has ADD, we both are level-headed in most cases, but long before, we had terrible, terrible explosive tempers that laid in wait like landmines. We were otherwise decent people, but we had a very low tolerance for nuisances, and a very low patience level when it came to those nuisances and even people we loved.
We took could counseling and learned patience, and I even dare to venture, I learned patience from you, Humanity. Through James. Even with Blueblood.
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Omni states what I believe to be the correct course of action very well. I believe you capable of that forgiveness, giving him the chance, and trying to mend the bond, however much you doubt yourself.
We believe in you.
We hold your father in our prayers.
-Mahazkei
You have my prayers bro. Hope your old man makes it through surgery and also can get his temper put in check.
Yes, yes they can. The question you should be asking is... which feeling is stronger?
I hope he pulls through, and buy him some cupcakes with pink icing. That may kick start his happiness and change his attitude.
Figured since I've been with you on this site for so long, that I'd say something. You sincerely have my prayers for your father and hope everything ends favorably. Regarding the strained relationship issue, I've somewhat dealt with it in the past few years and it can be difficult to get through. So that being said, I'd just suggest you appreciate the smallest of things that went on between the two of you, if anything is to go wrong god forbid... Not sure if I made any sense to you but just wanted to convey my support to you and your father.
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Coincidently, I'm in a similar situation too, Well, my dad may have not been a jerk when I was younger, but he does have a constantly changing personality - sometimes he's in a good mood, the next moment, he's in a bad mood.
Really weird. I used to feel uncomfortable around it all when I was younger (because he had a mental breakdown, and I didn't feel comfortable talking to him). He's better than he used to be now, but he still has a bit of a temper sometimes.
Well, anything heartfelt I could've said has already been said.
Your family is in our prayers. I hope your father's surgery has no complications, and that afterwards you both would take the opportunity to mend your relationship. Love isn't always easy, but it is always worth fighting for.
God bless you, keep you, and watch over you.
-Ru
Well he has got my hope and prayers
YOu have them and more.
Seems I'm a bit late, should check this site a bit more often. Either way, all my prayers go out to you, your family, and your (father's) friends, for you father to make a full recovery and be able to live a normal live again. I also see that this can be an oppertunity to mend the wounds of the past a bit, if you're able to bring yourself to do that, which, I do understand, is hard. Just remember to be there for him, and never forget: The there's nothing that helps a man get through his pain better, than seeing his child smiling.
Heart disease and anger can be had from sugar intake. I did a bit of my own research into studies that can be found on google, and carbohydrates break into sugar, and sugar damages veins reducing oxygen flow through it including to the brain(low oxygen to the brain increases anger and stuff, diabetics can get it too and are worse off for instance for vein health, and it also can decrease bone density like caffeine), and worsens heart health. Granted both can also be cause from high amounts of sodium. What they have in common is high blood acidity. You want to work in less sodium carbs and red meats and processed foods, artificial sugars coffee after breakfast etc. Strength training reduces stress and improves heart health even if you are elderly. Granted sure it could be genetics, it could also be that family tends to have similar diet through a social means like upbringing or related values related to diet.
I would drink more water, eat more greens. Also passed down similar occupations can cause health problems and look like a genetic predisposition. Like if you all have desk jobs, sitting down alot can decrease cardio health. Granted people who take stairs don't live as long due to more injuries involving stairs they tend to be healthier, even people having an up-stairs bedroom live longer than first floor bedrooms. Why I recommend water though is because it can help reduce sodium and buffer against sugar oxidative damage(thins it out but its still going to be there generally, cinnamon can reduce sugar uptake into the bloodstream and helps prevent related damages, as well as antioxidant foods, electrolyte foods drinks or powders (replaces the missing electrons faster before it can damage vein cells, just make sure it doesn't have much sugar or fake sugar which is even more acidic usually) Potassium can help reduce sodium but both require a greater water intake).
Three exercises for longevity are brisk walking/light jogging, strength training, and swimming, according to scientific studies I have seen.
Stress and sleep can also play a role in heart and brain health, reading good fiction reduces stress more than music does, and poor sleep means a weak heart means less blood flow to the brain which means less oxygen to the brain.
I don't believe in prayers(Tsun Tzu of the Art of War found it made no difference, so if such a plane or force existed it'd surely have an effect on battle, which it did not), I believe in tangible actions. But communicating this with your father, if he isn't the sort to listen it prolly wouldn't go well. But I greatly dislike ticking time-bombs. That's how I think of people, ticking time bombs if they have random angry outbursts, they might hurt someone. But older people also feel more entitled like I am old you don't have a say in what I do. Even if you are correct in which help you give, there may not be much you can do. But prayer or no, if his diet and activity stays the same, he will get worse. That's a fact, similar to how prayer doesn't stop a knife sword arrow or bullet, it couldn't stop the oxidation of the brain or heart. I lived with the mentally ill before, I lived with a diabetic with decreasing mind performance and still do. I have plenty of time for research where others might not. That's how I know what I do.
Air circulation is also a factor on mental health, its how salt has been used to banish spirits, it decreases air humidity and fungi and dust, and feng shui is similar, it allows a room more air circulation. That's how those things might have gotten more than a placebo in practice and remained through the years.
The last factors are how much sunlight one gets, and how good their social relations are.
I know i had a rough time when my dad passed 11 years ago, I hope yours pulls through and you can fix your relationship with him.
You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
My prayers go to you and all your family!