Colors of the Soul V2.0 + Reflections · 4:10am Oct 8th, 2016
Before I get into the rewrite and whatnot, I'd like to take this time to recommend The Great Thaw by RadiantBeam! It's a RariShimmer (unpopular pairings 4E) soulmate!au that they've been talking about writing for FOREVER AND NOW THEY DID IT'S GREAT.
It was actually on Feature Box a few weeks ago, and I'd been intending on promo'ing before but I preferred on waiting for this blogpost because then the topics are related and IDK It made sense in my head. Anyway, do go check it out! Soulmate!AUs are fun, and even more so with unpopular pairings o:
And now let us proceed to the DarkColorful Souls fic rewrite.
Finally, my heart is at ease.
After months of lamenting the sloppy grammar and minor story issues, I finally forced myself to give a massing editing pass to CotS so that I could finally rest easy. Of all my one-shots, Colors was one of the more sloppily edited and it was something that always bothered me considering it's one of my favorite self-written fanfics.
So now it has better grammar, nicer descriptions and a slightly altered ending. I had originally expected to completely and totally change the fic by adding way more scenes, but in the end I only worked on the grammar and writing better descriptions. My mind had been dead-set on believing what it needed was to be a massive fanfiction, but in the end I realized it works fine as it is. Not too long, not too short, just right.
At the time of originally posting, I never made a blogpost because I was having a lot of conflict regarding writing. This story means a lot to me, perhaps as much as my very first multichapter here, because of the effort that went behind it. Last year, I struggled a lot with putting other writers and friends on pedestals, and writing based solely on their reception of ideas I had.
It wasn't very healthy, needless to say.
I also used to be on Tumblr a lot. I lived inside Tumblr, and Soulmate!AUs are exceedingly popular in Tumblr and Archive of our Own. Dozens of AUs with a dozen more suggestions of "Imagine that X Y Z until you meet your soulmate" or "What if you had an XYZ that 123 until you met your soulmate?". In fact, one of my favorites consist of the idea that what if you had a timer on your skin that counts down to your soulmate's death, and at one point it's at 70 years and suddenly jumps down to fifteen minutes.
Wouldn't that be awful? I love it!
So, I wanted my soulmate AU, except... Except soulmate AUs are so rare here! While they plague Fanfiction.net and AO3, here on fimfiction I could only recall one other soulmate AU written by the talented Zaphod. His take on it used the premise "what if you had a timer that counted down to the time you met your soulmate", and it was because of this that I hesitated about writing mine. I knew I wanted to write a different and original take on the concept, but look at it any way you want, it's still a cliche fandom fic trope!
I'd been toying with the colored sight variation, but was still unsure. The color sight AU variation is one of the most popular versions of this AU, and for once I didn't want to be a shameless fluffy shipper! I wanted something sad. Something difficult. I toyed with writing the color-sighted version that stated that ponies went back to grayscale sight when their soulmate died, and nearly wrote it. I'm quite the sucker for drama, and the only thing that stopped me was the fact that I already have a "Rarity dies" fic.
And then I thought, "god, how horrible would it be if maybe Twi and Rarity are dating despite not being soulmates AND THEN ONE OF THEM MEETS THEIRS???? IT WOULD BE OVER."
This is where it gets interesting.
It's incredible, at least in my case, to discover how deeply ingrained some beliefs are. I struggled to an absurd amount with the idea that Rarity and Twilight weren't soulmates. That there was someone out there who was more important and better just because destiny thought so. That no matter how deeply they love each other, the truth is they both know that they're not the best option.
I felt guilty writing it. It felt like I was writing an anti-RariTwi fic, because your soulmate is the love of your life and that's how our society has forcibly chosen to define soulmates as. The romantic end-all. And it was a fascinating theme to explore. How would you feel if your soulmate meets their soulmate and it's not you? Would they ditch you? How could they not? How could you not let them, when you are not their other half and they are not yours.
It hurt, and I wanted to write it.
My editors, however, did not like the idea. Neither did most of my friends. The original concept of Colors was, to my perception, received terribly by the people whom I told the idea. It was crushing, and it's sad even now to realize how easily one can put all your worth on someone else's words. I mean, I couldn't blame the lukewarm reception! I was claiming these two characters were the OTP when Destiny™ said otherwise.
I also had another issue, which was the intense belief that I was only as good as the people who edited me. I was convinced that I couldn't write well, and Enchanted Library was my one-hit wonder. But it doesn't matter anymore, and that's not really the point. The point was that the lukewarm reception of the idea made me initially hate my own idea, and be the first to say it was awful and terrible and etcetera.
But, I still wanted to write it? So I took it as a challenge. Like Stephen King did with Richard Bachman, I was going to prove to myself and others that I could make it work. Injuring Eternity is one of my most precious fanfictions solely because it was all entirely and completely me behind it, and I was faced with the challenge again.
Even as if myself struggled endlessly with it, with the idea that they weren't soulmates, that they really didn't belong together and it was a fact of life. It felt very much as if I was trying to claim that no, blood does not in fact keep you alive, or something equally wrong. This scientifical unproven fact was very much a law of life.
I even had alternate endings planned. Maybe, when Rarity accepted Twilight, then suddenly Twilight will see in colors too because they were soulmates all along! Or maybe you don't actually see in colors until you decide who your soulmate is! A plethora of ways of justifying it, of not breaking this apparently this immutable tacit fact that Soulmates = Romantic end all.
But if I did that, then the story would lose meaning. There was no risk, and it would be much like the "it was all a dream" trope. For the fic to mean something, for the message to be real, then Twilight and Rarity couldn't be soulmates no matter what. For Rarity's ultimate choice to matter, Twilight had to know beyond a doubt that she was not the one destiny had chosen for Rarity. That, out there, was someone who was better than her no questions asked, and there was nothing she could do that would change that fact.
I wanted to post a story where I was the only one behind it, and I wanted to prove to myself that soulmates weren't the end-all.
I just kind of wish I had originally at least asked someone to give it a minor editing pass 
In the end, I've only changed the ending a bit. A few paragraphs that I loathed I'd never added in the first time, and that change the ending into what I had always wanted for it. It's still the same, but better now, I think.
Anyway, thank you for reading, and hopefully you like the rewritten version. If not, I have the old one stored and can gladly link you to it :3
- Chrome
Nicely done. The previous version of the story was a lovely read when I first saw it. This version is much more polished and it feels more complete. I'm glad you updated it.
Not edited... Pfft. If the previous version is what you'd consider not edited, then you're as down on yourself as possible. Mono, don't let others dictate what you want (unless you want self-inserts and "Displaced" stories, then please, for the love of god, let others dictate you away from that). Your stories are some of the best things I've ever read and I eagerly dig into each and every one of them the moment I notice they're up (and I'm not busy at work).
I've been following you ever since a certain somebody posted about Injuring Eternity ages ago (of which I've read tons of times), and, while the idea that Rarity and Twilight aren't soulmates kills me a little on the inside when it comes to stories about the pairing, Colors was one of the most beautifully written stories about love persevering despite the obstatcles thrown in the way. Out of all of them, barring IE and perhaps EL, it is the most thought out and emotionally provoking story you've posted so far. The way that Twilight absolutely beats herself up over the idea of not being the one.
Seriously, Mono. You keep doing you and write what you feel is right. But, the moment you stop doing this deliciously lovely RariTwi shipping fest is the moment I leave (I'm lying, I'll probably read almost anything you post).
Good on you, Mono, for staying true to your vision!
Trust yourself. Far from a "one-hit wonder," you are an incredibly talented author and intermediary, bridging the gap between mere mortals and the RariLight gods. Populating Favorites shelves across the fandom, your works inspire joy
, evoke longing 
, and draw tears 
(oh so many IE tears 
), enriching the lives of your readers.
Thank you for sharing your process and your craft. I'm glad your heart is happy with the decisions you've made as a writer - it deserves to be!
Nice to see you! Be true to yourself and keep writing!
By the way, where are the fics on tumblr??? I been there but I can't find fics of mlp.
I'm SO looking forward to reading the new and improved Colors!