On the use of OCs in TCB, and how to calm a soul through their use · 8:30pm Sep 14th, 2012
This post has been brewing in my head for a few days now, and I'm happy that I get a chance to finally sit my flank down and type this out.
So, TCB has a lot of love and hate on both sides. It's thanks to TCB that I got back into writing. I have Chatoyance and Midnight Shadow to thank, in point of fact, which got me to thinking.
I've been re-reading a lot of the initial fics from when the sub-verse got started, namely Chat's 'The Big Respawn'. Going through it again, I was struck by the character of Mr. Whitemane. Yes, Dylan and Liam are the protagonists, and their tale of trying to make everything work got re-visited in the chapter City In Violet from 'Tales From Los Pegasus'. That's important. But so is Mr. Whitemane.
Now, I'll lay out a little RL info here, for better or worse. Most of you, the vast majority of folks, don't really know me. We've spoken online. Some of you, I've known for years, or even a decade plus (hi, Gabe :3), but the fact of the matter is that... I'm not a nice person. I'm violent, rude, inclined to really not have much in the way of tact depending on how much sleep I've had of late...
Some would possibly say that I'd be more inclined to be a Gryphon than a Pony. Guardian_Gryphon would damn well disagree, and to be honest, so would I. I'm cowardly, I scare easy, and for all my talk and natural aim with firearms as well as being handy with bladed weapons, I'd probably turn tail and run. I'd play the rearguard, but I'd be terrified. I'm not 'strong' in any real sense of the word.
I suppose you could say I'm closer to Dylan and Liam (minus a chunk of the cursing) or Caprice (given the r63 treatment and not having the wealth or augments) than Mr. Whitemane.
However, here's the point I'm getting at. Mr. Whitemane is who I aspired to be, growing up. Selling things, making customers happy, seeing folks smile, knowing everypony by name. I enjoyed my brief stint of retail work near on a decade ago, it just didn't pay the bills. TCB is an ideal, to be sure. Ponies are humanity given the best aspects and removing most of the violent impulses. Mr. Whitemane, for all he's merely a 'background character', struck a chord with me. That's the kind of pony I'd truly like to be. Helpful. Kind. Eager to lend a hoof, and doing what you love for the rest of your life.
Ponies are idealized. Equestria itself is idealized. Me? I just don't want to be an asshole anymore. I'm tired of being a jerk, of being needlessly cruel. I want to be a pony, because... I'd be happy. Is that so wrong of me?
Not in the slightest.
That's I guess part of what attracted me to writing, and TCB in particular, was being able to assemble human characters from different mindsets and then put them into the TCB scenario. Watching those characters change and grow as individuals is what I'm writing for now.
And here's hoping to see something come from you in the future
When I was about eleven, I saw some bullies beating up a kid younger than I was. I saw this from my seat on a school bus. There was nothing I could do, and nobody was helping the kid. I felt so bad for him I started to cry.
In that moment, I made a vow. Even as a young child I had no belief in any specific gods or religion, so I made my vow to the 'universe' for lack of anything else. I vowed that no matter what, for the rest of my life and beyond (if such existed) I would never, never, ever be like those two bullies. That I would always try to be nice, to be kind, and that I would not let myself be broken by mean stuff - that I would always keep my sense of wonder, and my ability to play and find joy (I thought bullies were mean, at the time, because they had lost their sense of wonder).
To the best of my ability, I have kept that vow, and it still resonates with me at age 52, which is why I can even tell you that story. That choice was, I suppose, a defining moment of my existence. It changed me, because I wanted it to, and because I meant it.
I think about that moment, when I see bad things in the world, or when bullies and asshats cause trouble. I think, the only difference between them and me, is that I made a choice, I made a stand, because I wanted Better. I wanted Nice. I wanted kindness and gentleness and love.
I feel a lot of fear - I have a lifelong panic disorder. I feel a lot of anger, which I reckon is genetic - my father was not the least bit nice, and was likely a high functioning sociopath. But I keep my silly little vow, and I still have my childlike sense of wonder and joy at the smallest things. I still like toys and games, and I am a grown-up child, really, with mostly smiles for the world.
In our real universe, we cannot hope to become physical ponies. There is no potion. I can never hope to be the unicorn I wish I could be.
But it is always possible to decide to live as though one were a unicorn, inside. To choose to live to an ideal, rather than to just... live.
It isn't easy, it isn't always fun. Sometimes it is fun. Sometimes it rocks. Sometimes it means tears. But I am glad I made my little vow back then. It changed my life, ultimately for the better.
I think that is all it takes.
Choosing what you want, then embodying it as best as you can, because it is beautiful.
I think Don Quixote was on the right path all along.
You are the person you make of yourself in each moment of the day, and the choice is always yours to be who - or what- you desire most.
If you have an ideal, then I offer, gently, that there are worse things than choosing to be that ideal, as best as you can, inside yourself. At first it is work, but after a few years it becomes natural, and then it is you, and you... are it.
That is my thinking, anyway.
I know this much - you have always been nice and kind and good to me, and in your posts I have seen a good soul.
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... I'll admit, reading your reply has made me cry. And no, I'm not channeling Zecora there, I had to literally reach for the tissues. Your response has put a smile on my face even despite my tears. It's good that there are those in this world that embody the spirit of what it is to be a pony... even if we're not one physically.
Though, I will say this: You say I have a good soul... I say it's kinda hard to see that, sometimes. Especially when I let my own sizable temper get the better of me. It's hard to try to be nice in the face of so much hatred in this world.
Despite all that, though... you still talk to me, and I consider you a friend. That is more valuable to me than you could ever know, and it's one of the things that I deeply cherish.
Well this is all, of course, the kernel of the metaphor that drives TCB.
Whether people know it or not, its actually driven things like Star Trek for ages, just look at some of the things Roddenberry said of the series.
We, as he did, use races as avatarizations of archetypes, to explore them.
But hey, don't be so quick to think you wouldn't be a Gryphon.
Courage is not about being fearless, its about learning to face fear.
Since its a learning process, we all start out as cowards.
I'm *still* a BIG fat coward when it comes to the idea of love, true love.
It scares me through molting cycles.
So Ponies, Gryphons, Dragons inside... we all have our struggles, imperfections, fears, and those wee buttons that when pushed set off the inner demons. We're not perfect.
Old Gryphon saying; every strength is a potential weakness, every weakness a potential strength.
While I'd love to be a Gryphon in body as well, for so very many obvious reasons, there is definitely that internal component of these races that we can all emulate now by choice.
Now setting my worldview aside, I agree that in the end it boils down to choices and that we are by default more like the lesser Humans of TCB, or the Changelings, or the Diamond Dogs. It requires a concious change to be better, to be a Gryphon, or Pony, or Dragon, or Lupine; we have to march into the Bureau and take that cup of purple, or golden, or red, or silver potion.
Obviously you *have*, metaphorically speaking, and as so many of the works of the universe show, that takes courage even if its something you want.
Thus I rest my case; you show courage and you might make a better Gryphon than you'd think.
Super-late input, go!
You don't have to be a pony to be a good person! Be who you want to be, not who you think you are limited to being! That just seems narrow-minded to me. To me, humans aren't bastards; we're who we choose to be.
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Way to be late to the party. Go away.
1063665 Love you too