Birthday Bios: Roanie · 5:43pm Aug 2nd, 2016
You know, it’s pretty cool when the show presents a pony with a real horse coat like a pinto, or with real horse markings like blazes and socks. Or at one point, an actual Clydesdale! 
(Of course, some folks should not make pintos out of the coat colors of their ship—have you seen the CheesePie pinto foals? They’re awful! 
)
Now, I named Roanie before I designed her, only because it was a horse pun for something that I’m sure most of you will get (though this history will be kind of different from that one). Nevertheless, I had to give her a roan coat to match her name, and I managed to actually make it look good. Though, I will admit, I did kind of base her design on Rarity.
And thus, we enter August with an outlaw! This should be fun.
Roanetta McGallop was born in the city of Alfalfaston, one of Equestria’s richest farming communities. As the younger of the two foals of a plantation owner, she watched as her older brother was being taught how to run the business of the hay and straw industry, such as overseeing the workers, trading their crop for money or other goods, and keeping stock of all their assets. As for her, her parents were not keen on spoiling their youngest like many other families were. So, they had her acting like a proper lady, in order to make her a desirable mate for one of the other heirs of the neighborhood and promote good relations with their parents.
Little Roanie did not like being a proper lady at all. She was a notorious tomboy that preferred to run around outside, playing in the mud, catching critters, and hanging out with some of the workers in the field. But, whenever she disobeyed her parents, they had a servant give her a good swatting with the switch and drag her by the ear to throw her in an empty room to think about her actions. Then she’d be stuffed back in the dress and resume the boring southern belle routine.
She took to sneaking out at night, save for social events where she couldn’t escape. Galloping around in a disguise around Alfalfaston, she ended up joining the town riffraff one night. In showing that she was a tough and enduring gal instead of a delicate little lady, she got her overdue cutie mark of a cactus—unfortunately having earned it during a gang fight where some ponies landed in the hospital for. However, she kept on wearing dresses to hide the thing, since her parents would disapprove.
She continued to hang out with that gang at night—vandalizing the homes of the stuck-up plantation owners, stealing from small stores for whatever they were in the mood for, and getting drunk at the local bar. She got into a lot of fights, and quite frankly lost her virginity before she was even sixteen. All this while she was faking being a pretty and proper lady for the rest of the town.
Of course, she couldn’t hide her cutie mark forever, and her true self was soon revealed to her parents and others of the Alfalfaston elite at a party. When her parents dragged her home and threatened to put her on lockdown, she retaliated violently. The next morning had Roanie’s brother find his parents dead, and his sister having disappeared.
Resentful of how her foalhood had been, Roanie set off into the San Palomino desert, spending the next several years learning how to survive. The course of those years had her meeting other runaways and outcasts, all feeling like that Equestrian society had failed them. Among those runaways was the angry Peppermint Stride, a failed dental school applicant from Baltimare. Roanie and Stride fell in love, and while they never officially married, they considered themselves husband and wife.
Roanie’s band of outcasts soon took to ganging up on innocent travelers and robbing them—descending into murder if the traveler turned out to be wealthy, since they had to punish him or her for being an elitist snob (regardless of whether or not they actually were). They spent the next dozen or so years doing so, often chasing down and crashing carriages, threatening the family of a weeping traveler, or even leaving a poor, beaten soul in the desert for dead.
Sometimes there were ponies that they rescued from the elements, even though Roanie often made it clear that the rescuee had to repay them, usually by giving them a hefty reward or joining the gang. One of the rescued was the teenager Jasper Horseshoe, who started off a little wary but embraced the lifestyle when Roanie convinced him that she was looking out for him and that they’re punishing ponies for their privilege.
Several years passed, and they’ve been everywhere in the Equestrian Southwest, from Las Pegasus to Dodge Junction, and from the outskirts of the Salt Lick Valley to the Macintosh Hills. Though they lost a few good gang members—whether it be death from the elements or festering wounds, or getting caught by the law—Roanie’s gang still ran strong.
The closest call they ever had was when they were on the outskirts of Nickerlite, when a robbery failed thanks to the group fighting back. Several members received stab wounds from a pencil of all things, a couple of the ponies were large enough to break some bones, and Jasper, usually a slippery stallion to the point where he bragged about it, was stupid enough to get captured because of a pretty unicorn mare. Roanie blamed him for that disaster, and the gang ditched the young stallion.
About twenty-five years passed, with Roanie’s lifestyle not changing one bit. She once wandered back to Alfalfaston to see how it has changed, wearing a disguise. She has found that her brother had gotten married and had a family of his own, and was fairly happy with his life. Roanie found it odd to find her brother letting his kids just be kids, and sneered, thinking he was only happy because he was rich. She wanted to set fire to his crop to spite him, but was stopped by Stride telling her that folks are recognizing her (by her roan coat) and that they should get out of there if they didn’t want to get caught.
The gang returned to the town of Nickerlite, as Roanie decided she wanted to try leading a town. Since it had poor law enforcement and the mayor was incredibly childish, she thought it would be easy pickings. And just in case, they recruited the local Diamond Dogs to help, bribing them with gems.
As it turned out, ambushing the mayor on his way home to a surprise birthday didn’t go as planned, seeing as he was being escorted by the Dogs’ enemies, the Pie Sisters, and two young stallions. Roanie was shocked at how strong the Pies were and that the mayor and his wife managed to escape. Even worse, one of the stallions distracting her, Bluejinx, looked an awful lot like a unicorn version of Jasper Horseshoe. As it turned out, Blue was Jasper’s son.
Learning that Jasper was already dead, she decide to take out her resentment of the stupid stallion on his son. They had a rock-throwing battle for some time, with Bluejinx utilizing his magic through throwing rocks or restraining her, but ultimately, Roanie injured him and was ready to kill him. Then the stallion that Stride had been distracting, Tomato Sandwich, jumped on her and stopped her. She threw him off, and decided to smash his head in before he could interfere any more.
She was hit by a giant pie just before she did the deed.
As it turned out, if you threaten the little brother of Cheese Sandwich (who the mayor and his wife had informed of the ambush), the party pony will not be kind to you. She was told off harshly by the angry Cheese, and soon enough, the defeated gang was arrested, including her. She was transported to a high-security prison on Alcatrot Island, where she’s expected to serve a life sentence.
She’s currently devising an escape plan. Whether it be her gilded cage of youth or behind bars on a harsh island, no prison will hold that mare.
She’d rather die than be trapped again.
Cotton candy/American cheese pinto coats? Good Lord, what are those people thinking!?
Yeah, having your innermost self branded on your hindquarters in a clothing-optional society means that living a double life isn't going to work out in the long run. At least, not easily.
Sadly, there's just no redeeming some ponies. At least, not without extreme measures, and I doubt anyone's going to propose hitting Alcatrot with the Rainbow Beam of Fix Everything™.
I only regret Roanie and Stride didn't have tommy guns to tote menacingly.
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That would be a fantastic story though. EoH hits the island, all the prisoners are reformed citizens, what happens next?