Sometimes Google Translate Is Funnier Than I Can Ever Hope To Be · 11:58pm May 7th, 2016
I already made reference to Google Translate's hilarious tendency to brutally chop up sentences, but recently I found out that Awful Lot of Coffee was translated to Chinese by this person here. I am honored that anyone would feel my nonsense is worth the effort of translating, and I would like to extend my full thanks to CK Rainbow for doing so.
And then, I would like to put the translation through Google Translate and see just how much Google's algorithm destroys my story.
Again.
For science or something.
Here we go.
*Note: I'm using Chapter 12 (Lunage Daydream) for this blog
"Rhythm, I really do not want to be a 'nosy aunt,'" Sierra Modestia sighed, "But you are not the sports point?"
Okay, so Cadance becoming Rhythm makes sense, I guess, considering they are very similar definitions...
But how the hell did Celestia become Sierra Modestia?
Bow before the great Princess of Modest Mountains, everybody!
"Are you kidding me, younger sister?" Luna grabbed Rhythm, then shouted, "Then when a pregnant female horse in this thing!
Alright, once more this follows the original meaning precisely (except for some reason Luna is the older sister now) but I find it absolutely hilarious how literal Luna's dialogue is. Like, try referring to somebody as a Pregnant Female Human next time you see them. I'm sure they'd be flattered.
"Envy What!?" Sierra Modestia shouted back, "I want to tell you to go together!"
Huh. Now Sierra Modestia seems to be saying that she wants Luna and Rhythm to hook up.
That's your sister and niece; you're a sick mare, Sierra.
"Oh," Sierra Modestia forthrightly, "Then no, I have not been."
"She may be bored," Luna solemnly explains, "That's why."
What was originally a joking gibe turned into a rather earnest statement by Luna, talking about Celestia Sierra Modestia as though she were a little kid.
Wait, what?" Rhythm blinked, "What are you talking about?"
"Ax ah! You say there flying ax, screaming constantly!"
"Oh look at our ...... It was a slang, Luna."
First of all, Cadance's first line of dialogue is entirely untouched and I find that really funny for some reason.
And axes, screaming constantly? That seems like something a medieval GLaDOS would think up.
"But wait, electric guitar? I really do not understand some of their bombs," Luna seems thoughtfully.
I don't understand bombs either, Luna, don't worry.
"...I mean we have plenty of hooves. To me, this show is estimated to be terrible. "
Luna, upon seeing a trailer for Teen Titans Go.
"I choose to agree," Luna nodded, "Hey, sister, we would like to chant the name of a band."
"...What?"
Celestia's reaction here is just too perfect—I don't even have a joke.
Alright, then here comes the highlight of the whole thing...
The translation of the name Celestia comes up with. In the original fic she says "“Countess Cadenza and the Coffeeguzzling Cloud Kickers.” What does Google Translate say it is?
"Frightening Coffee Binge-Drinking Misty Dukes," she finally said.
"We still think about it..." Rhythm said quietly.
I like how Cadance responds like a soldier with PTSD—as though she were genuinely traumatized by it and is haunted by the memory every night in her dreams.
Frightening Coffee Binge-Drinking Misty Dukes is somehow much better than anything I ever could have come up with. I'm almost tempted to edit that into the regular story.
For those of you who, y'know, can actually read Chinese and don't have to rely on an incredibly flawed yet very hilarious free online algorithm, here's the translated chapter. I find it incredibly awesome and flattering that it even exists in the first place, but sadly since I do not speak Chinese I cannot actually read it. Thus the hilarious Google Translate above.
3928415 I saw one of these for "Let It Go" from the Frozen Soundtrack and for some reason it translates "Let it go! Let it go!" to "Give up! Give up!"
The very thought of a beloved Disney princess telling little kids to just give up is definitely something I needed in my life.
Being someone from the central valley (not to mention living less than an hour away from Modesto) I find this to be one of the funniest things I have ever read
For more google translating hilarity: Google Translate Sings
How did you get it to translate Celestia at all, let alone to Sierra Modestia once? O.o Half the time when I'm trying something, it freaks out on words it knows if the context confuses it. The number of times I had to piecemeal "Unto All Things, We Are Invited" to get "Ad Omnia, Invitati Sumus"... Cough. Google translate loves you more than me.
Yeah, I think if I saw frightening coffee binge-drinking misty dukes it would make me quietly fearful for a long time thereafter.
You have a better chance of jumping the grand canyon in a Volkswagen Bug, while simultaneously wanking yourself, than get a reliable translation from, "Google Translate." Still, the butchering the algorithm places upon years of language develop is a sight to behold, only beat by the monstrous size of my mum.
Google Translate is alright if you're looking for, like, a single word, but as soon as you start entering in phrases and paragraphs, shit gets messed up. Because one word may have multiple meanings, one-word responses typically have other options, like Hello being translated to either Здравствуйте or Привет in Russian. Both of which mean the same thing, but with slightly different connotation. Then, when it gets translated back to English, even more of that connotation is messed up, making it twice as bad. Rant over.
3928724 Agreed. It's still far from perfect, but as long as you're just looking for one or two words it's usually okay. But you start getting into anything more complex than that and, well, glorious though it may be...
Go home, Google Translate. You are drunk.
3928451 You're right that Google can't translate Celestia (or most proper nouns); the original translation was by a person.
As for Sierra Modestia... my best guess is that Google figured out a clever way to fail at idioms.