Review: Project: Sunflower, by: Hoopy McGee · 3:14am Apr 28th, 2016
The Earth is doomed. A swarm of alien nanomachines is sweeping over it, turning the entire surface into a dark, uniform mass of organic matter. In a last ditch effort to try and escape this ‘Black Tide’ Project: Harmonics is started to try and open a doorway to another dimension. To find another world that humanity can flee to. Beyond all hope they manage to find such a world, but it is already inhabited, by creatures that resemble small equines no less. Needing to find out as much as they can about this new race in order to find a way to be allowed to move to their world, a single volunteer is changed into a pony and sent into ‘Ponyworld’. One last hope for the survival of humanity, find a way to let the ponies allow us to come to their world. Alone in an alien world, Erin Olsen is holding the fate of two worlds in her hooves.
Story: The story comes in two fairly distinct parts. While it is all one narrative, one single story, there is a clear demarcation about halfway through that marks a fairly large change in how the story is told. The focus, style, feel, all of these noticeably alter, giving something slightly more akin to two separate, but connected narratives. First is the “Erin/Sunflower in Equestria” section, dealing with the main character's exploration of this new world, discovering as much about it as she can, coming to grips with magic and other casual violations of all the rules of physics back in her world. Getting to know the ponies. About what you’d expect from a ‘human in Equestria’ type story. While the second is Earth and Equestria opening diplomatic relations, the two trying to work out an agreement that will save the humans, without destroying Equestria as we know it in the process, as well as the ponies trying to help find a way to fight the Black Tide.
Of the two, the first half is definitely the more soundly structured, has the tighter plotting, a far more focused narrative. Everything works, everything fits with each other. Everything moves along well and is all tied together by the same overall focus; the humans (through Sunflower) learning about Equestria, Erin dealing with being a pony, with being in the weird, magical world all alone, and the ponies response to them figuring out something is messing with the ‘Veil’ that separates their world from others. With all those pieces flowing near seamlessly together into one whole.
The second half, is not quite so well stitched together. There are a lot of things going on, and while they are related in some ways, and all make sense, they do not blend together as seamlessly. Don’t all share as tight a focus. The story can feel like it’s meandering a bit. While each individual plot line is well done in and of itself, they don’t mesh together quite so well. Mostly due to there being so many different things going on, many not directly related to each other. Celestia trying to work out a way to help the humans and convince her Court to do so. The ponies working on ideas to try and use magic against the Tide, a few brief bits dealing with both ponies and humans starting to try and learn more about each other and each others world. Erin and the Mane 6 pretty much just hanging out around Canterlot Castle with nothing else to do. Erin stuck waiting for the lab that can turn her back into a human to be ready. The Mane 6 hanging around on standby in case the Princesses need the Elements of Harmony. And then you have Malachite running around doing his own thing. There are points where things start to feel a it directionless. It isn’t really about one single thing.
That being said, while structurally the second half is definitely the weaker part, has some unmistakable and undeniable issues to how it’s presented... none of that matters compared to what it is about, what is going on. Part of why this part of the story feels so unfocused at times is because of the shear scope of what is going on, and trying to deal with something so huge, so world-changing, from the perspective of only a few people involved at the heart of things. Saving an entire world, either through ending the threat poised to wipe it out, or facilitating the total evacuation of it’s population. Both Humans and Ponies dealing with having this whole other world, so different then their own to learn about. As well as whole new races, an even bigger shock for Humanity. As above, everything that is done in this second half is done incredibly well, each plot line works, the issue is only with making each of them gel together into one flowing whole rather then feel like several distinct ones roughly stitched together. And the what is going on... while the first half is the more technically, structurally, well done, the second is by far the more powerful half. Which is not to slight just how well done and at times both powerful and beautiful the first half was either, the second simply takes what was already present and so well used, and builds on it to make it even grander, more powerful, more meaningful.
As I’ve pointed out many times already, how a story is written comes a distant second to what it is about. I would gladly take a weakly structured, technically flawed, would send an English teacher into apoplexy with how many ‘rules’ of how you ‘should’ write it breaks, story that is still powerful, emotional, touching, that has a solid heart to it. Then some bland, emotionless, but well done and technically proficiently written one. I only even mention the above ‘flaws’ because they are noticeable, they are undeniable in being there. It is possible that it could have been executed better. But the heart, the soul, of Project: Sunflower is by far grand enough to more then make up for any technical issues with the writing quality. Though for reasons best left for latter sections.
Strictly from a Story/Narrative perspective, it is a story with a powerful heart, with a tone of emotion, feeling, and above all, Hope. That has a solid first half, but has some issues with staying feeling focused and not meandering at times in the second, yet is never anything short of a delight to read, fun, engaging, more then enough to make up for any other issues.
Characters: Well done, enjoyable, lovable, and all around a thrill to watch. Okay, the generic, nearly cliched praises out of the way, it was a well done cast all around. Especially due to two factors; first, no one ever holds an Idiot Ball or Conflict Ball. Everyone acts reasonable, mature, does not arbitrarily do stupid things simply because the story needs it, or act overly confrontational just because. Not to say they don’t make mistakes, don’t do or say things they regret, don’t screw up. But all of those are due to solid reasons. It makes sense why they are acting like that, it’s simply part of their character, it’s who they are. They aren’t perfect. But it never feels artificial, forced. The second, there are no real ‘villains’ in this story. No straight up “bad guys”. There are antagonists to be sure, two major ones in particular, but none of them are outright villains, none of them are straight up ‘evil’. There is a great deal of complexity to them. They are doing things that are wrong, but not for wholly the wrong reasons. You can understand why they are taking the actions they are. But, more on them later. These two factors make for a lot of compelling interactions and a great story all over simply in and of themselves, but it is only the start of what makes this story, and the characters so great.
Let’s start with the canon characters. They all felt in character, were well used, really no issues with them, save one altogether minor one, specifically with Celestia. Not her characterization, nothing about what she says or does, in that respect she is simply glorious. A truly radiant portrayal of the Goddess of the Sun. But, more her occasional word choices. Generally when she was talking to the Mane 6 in less formal capacities, the occasional phrase choice, idiom, that, kind of felt hard to picture coming from her. Though at the same time, the main reason they felt odd is they tended to be just a tad too informal, a tad too ‘common’ for someone of her stature. Which could be entirely intentional, her trying to set the Mane 6 at ease, get them to see her more as just another pony then as some distant ideal. But, again that is just a really minor and occasional nitpick. On the whole, this take on Celestia is spot on, and fully shows why she is so beloved by her little ponies. Baring those few odd word choices that didn’t quite feel like it was her ‘voice’ in them, Celestia is simply glorious and her scenes tend to be the most powerful and meaningful of the entire story. While not feeling like they are trying to hard to be so. Simply, Celestia being Celestia. A nearly bottomless well of compassion, tempered by wisdom and experience who is dedicated to helping and protecting any who need it, not just her little ponies.
I have seen this story criticized for succumbing to something called “Mane Six Syndrome” Of having a newcomer to Ponyville instantly bond with the Mane 6 and the Mane 6 being shoehorned into a story simply because they are the main characters in the show. And no, that problem does not exist with this story. At least not at all in the first part, in the second, there could be an argument made for it, but I still don’t really think so. During the “Sunflower in Ponyville” first half, the only Mane 6 she seems especially close to are AJ and Twilight. AJ being the first pony she met and somepony she feels comfortable around, so uses her as a kind of touchstone, a grounding element to help her deal with things. Her relationship with Twilight meanwhile is almost all on Twilight. Purple Smart wanted to find out what was going on with Sunflower’s lack of magic and if she could help her. RD it’s just a casual acquaintance, Pinkie, everypony meets and becomes friends with Pinkie, and it never really goes beyond how Pinkie treats everypony in town. Her only interaction with Rarity and Fluttershy are business related. Either Sunflower delivering packages to Fluttershy, or ordering dresses from Rarity. And they are hardly the only ponies she gets to know either. For the entire first half, yeah her interactions with the other ponies, and Mane 6 specifically are well done and feel extremely natural. The only one the might be a tad forced is Fluttershy, that really could be argued only exists as a contrivance to get her to meet Shy Horse, but even if so, it’s still well done and makes perfect sense in context.
Now the second half, that does get into areas I could see arguments made for “Mane Six Syndrome” being in play. Sunflower is hanging out with all of them as a group almost constantly, more or less acting like a part of the group most of the time. But even then, it makes sense in context and their interactions all feel natural. None of them really have anything else to do besides hang out with each other to avoid being bored. Sunflower is stuck in limbo till they get the Ascent lab ready to turn her back into a human, and the Mane 6 are stuck in Canterlot so they are nearby in case The Elements of Harmony need to be brought into play. If I have to nitpick, or see how someone might take things badly, just how close she becomes with all of them and how fast it happens, might be a tad of a stretch, just ‘poof’ instant best friends. But at the same time that is simply how welcoming and open these ponies are, that they will make friends that quickly and that easily. It might have been able to have been done more smoothly. But as is it still works perfectly well. Granted it doesn’t help a whole lot that a lot of the scenes with Sunflower the Mane 6 help add to the unfocused feeling of the second half, since while some are good character development moments, many have little baring on the overall plot taking place. Just Sunflower introducing them to some human stuff. Which was still worth it simply for how fun those scenes were.
So while the Mane 6 could have been better integrated into the story in the second half outside of being the ones able to call down the Orbital Friendship Cannon, their portrayals and interactions were spot on and always fun to read. For the most part. I do have to admit, Fluttershy, as above, comes out the worse as far as “Simply there because shes one of the Mane 6, and not because of any actual role in the story” with really only seeming to be around to be shy and hide. With Rarity being second place in kind of just being there. Both of them only knew Sunflower on a professional basis. Sure they liked her, would consider her a friend, but only in the loosest term. Nothing compared to the really amazing bond Sunflower and Twilight had. They come across the most as, simply being there for the sake of them being there. But again, it’s a case where they could have been integrated into the plot better, but still had a good reason to be there regardless.
So, onto the OC’s. Three major ones to talk about, and of course, let’s start with Erin/Sunflower. I loved her. The thing is, there is both so much about her done right, and yet so much that could be summed up in generalities. (though that’s more likely an issue on my end for not knowing how to expresses this accurately then anything wrong with the character or writing) There is very little not to love about her. She bright, optimistic, kindhearted, decent, and other ‘nice’ generalities, but they aren’t done in a general or cliched way. She always comes off as extremely realistically portrayed, as well as completely genuine about it. She didn’t leap head first into volunteering for this assignment, wasn’t super eager, any other wish fulfillment type tropes you’d expect from a Human in Equestria story. It was only the realization of how much was riding on this mission, on just what could happen if she didn’t do this that made her agree to it. She didn’t want to risk humanity simply storming into this other world and potentially overrunning, abusing, hurting, or anything like that these peaceful ponies. She knew they needed to know more, they needed to find out as much as they could to facilitate a peaceful contact. She did this not for herself, but because she truly believed it was the right thing to do, what needed to be done, not just for Humanities sake, but for the Ponies as well. And that level of caring, compassion for others, even those she’s never met and aren’t even her own race or from her own planet, helps her fit in perfectly among the Ponies.
Then there is her strength, both as a character and as a person/pony. She will stand up for what she believes is right, she will not let others tell her what to do simply because they are in authority. Not the people in charge of Project: Harmonics, not her parents, not even a God Empress. But she’s also not so stubborn as to go against what they want, simply because it’s what they want either. So long as they have a good reason, she’ll go along. She simply won’t blindly follow. There is simply so much about her to love, even simply watching her try to learn about Equestria, or trying to teach the ponies about Earth, it is almost impossible not to care about her.
The other issue when discussing and talking about her is that, on paper, she kind of sounds like a Mary Sue. Friendly, nice, well liked, gets to do this super special thing, she ticks so many Mary Sue check boxes. But that simply shows how bad calling someone a “Mary Sue” is as a criticism, since it so often not used right. It is not something you can ever reduce down to a series of checklists. It is a wholly relative term. It all depends on how the character fits into the greater story. And Sunflower fits in perfectly. The defining trait, to me, that not only makes a Mary Sue a Mary Sue, but also why they are so despised and bad, is there very presence causing the narrative itself to warp and twist around her. To make the story serve her, rather then her being a part of the story. That never happens, ever. In fact the second half nearly has the opposite issue, of Sunflower not really having much of a direct role in the story at all. Being relegated to simply hanging out with the Mane 6 till stuff happens.
Hell, it even manifests in another possible issue in the second half. So many people talked about what a hero this would make Erin, how important she was, how she’d be set for life after doing this. Doing this would put her right up there with people like Yuri Gagarin, Neil Armstrong, only even more then that. She wasn’t just the first to step into a wholly alien planet, but in doing so she helped save the entire world. And the way she was kind of just left adrift after official contact made me at first think it was a case of Dude, Where’s my Respect? That she was being slighted, overlooked, that after all she did... this was what she got? Yet the second time through I noticed, that really wasn’t the case. She was treated like a star, she was given nearly everything and anything she wanted. It’s simply that she was too humble, too self effacing to really make use of that. And she spent most of her time around the ponies. But, she got away with a lot of stuff that no one else would. Despite a strict, official, from the highest level ban on giving ponies internet access, she gets the WiFi passcode given to her and is allowed to show her friends whatever she wants, with nothing more then a “Tell her officially she is not supposed to be doing that.” from the highest boss she could have at that point. Is allowed to bring a whole entertainment center into the Castle on a whim. Gets the the department to create all kinds of little stuff to help her out using it. Even being allowed to simply wander around between worlds whenever she wants, and bring whoever she wants. Despite this still being a tightly secured thing, needing official clearance from both sides and all, she’s just allowed to bring her parents through without anyone even saying anything beyond “Oh they are with you? Go ahead.” So it wasn’t that she didn’t have special status for everything she’s done, and more she simply never really used it in any overt ways. Though I do still have to question why she was so unused for anything after official contact. You’d think the human side would be eager to have the foremost, and only, human expert on Ponies to talk to about things. Hell, Celestia asks her advice on how to deal with humans more then the human ambassadors even talk to her. Though that could partially just be how easy negotiations went and how accommodating the ponies were meaning they really didn’t need any help.
Okay, now onto the other OC I can write an entire separate essay on, Malachite. I meant what I said above about this story not having any villains. While Malachite is the closest it gets, and is an antagonist, does do some very wrong things, he’s not really a ‘villain’ he’s not evil. Very, very flawed, certainly, but he really is trying to do what he believes is right, trying to help. He is simply so self absorbed that he at times fails to consider how what he does can effect those people other then himself. Will always put his own needs, his own desires, ahead of everything else. Even the good he does, while certainly good, is often done for selfish reasons, is done because it furthers his own goals. Yet at the same time, he really is trying to do good. A lot of the time he legit is trying to do what is right, but there is always the small part of him that makes sure he gets what he needs out of things. He has no issue with helping ponies or people simply to be good, but if he can help them in a way that helps himself as well, he will always go that route.
Yet despite all that, he is a very sympathetic, and very tragic character, in the most classical sense. Someone with huge potential, someone who could achieve true greatness, be a hero, be successful. Yet is brought down and ultimately fails due to their own flaws, their own hubris. Malachite is the closest to having any ‘Idiot Ball” moments, but, they aren’t. He makes mistakes, often times glaring obvious ones, but that is his character. He is so self confidant, that he often overlooks simple things. That he will take risks that should be obviously stupid and foolhardy, simply because he is so sure he can overcome anything. Yet despite that self confidence, he never comes off as snobbish, or egotistical about it. (Or at least rarely) those traits are there, but it never comes off like a conscious choice for him to be like that. He knows how awesome he is, he knows he is better then everypony else (except of course for Celestia) simply because he is him. Yet he never puts others down, he does not belittle others, at worst he will simply dismiss them as not important and ignores them. He knows he is amazing, and his ego is secure enough in that fact he does not need to make sure everypony knows it. He makes himself an alicorn body, simply because it’s the best body he could make and he deserves it. But not once does he ever consider himself on par with a True Alicorn. At one point he even worries that Celestia might see him doing so as an insult to her, when it isn’t. His self centeredness is almsot entirely subconscious. It’s simply who he is. And given how he grew up, is entirely understandable. Yet he is extremely reasonable, he doesn't want anything all that bad. Really his only goal is to not die, something that is entirely understandable. Hell his price for saving an entire world is little more then “Let me live here” and “Let me play with this new toy (Project Ascent) whenever I want.” He allows himself to be held under guard. Does not, overly, resent the humans caution. His biggest issue is more the boredom it causes.
There is also one other major factor that adds to this already compelling character. His relationship with Celestia. He idolizes her more then even Twilight does. Twilight sees her as the closest a pony can come to perfection, as someone wise, graceful, as the paragon of good, and light, and all things good. But she still sees her as a pony. Just the best a pony can be. Malachite meanwhile elevates her into an entirely different realm, seeing her more as a physical ponification of an ideal. Something far beyond petty mortal ponies. A transcendent being who is not simply the closest a pony can come to perfection, but a living embodiment of perfection itself. It is just so amazing to see how this plays with his own sense of self confidence, his own ego. That he is so sure of how great he is, and yet at no point does he do anything but love and idolize this being he knows he will never be as great as.
Ultimately, Malachite is onethe the most complicated, engaging, intriguing, and remarkable characters I’ve ever read. Though when it comes to his fate, I do have to say I am not entirely sure how I feel about it. There are arguments for either side of if it works or not and, I'm not really sure. I like it on some levels, but on others, it is a tad iffy. Really, it's well done in that it can be that complex and that open to discussion over if it is right or not.
Also should probably address the other antagonist that comes closest to being a ‘villain’ Doctor Velchiek. But again I don’t think he is outright evil or a villain. Though what he did was hands, hooves, and all other appendages down wrong. Just a complete betrayal and a simply horrible act. He is most certainly an asshole for that, and of the two, definitely the worse compared to Malachite. While their worst actions are, pretty much the exact same thing, taking control of Sunflower, Malachite only did it out of desperation, having no other option then to take her over in order to be free after eight hundred years in captivity. He never meant to hurt her. But, Velchiek had reasons for what he did as well, he thought that the fate of all of humanity was riding on things going a certain way, on Sunflower not screwing something up. The reason that, despite that, Velchiek remains the complete asshole for it, while Malachite a flawed, but ultimately sympathetic character is that Malachite regretted what he had done. He was truly and deeply sorry for it. He realized what he did was wrong and wanted to try and make amends. To apologize. Velchiek just tried to spew justifications for it and then bury the whole thing and pretend it never happened.
Though, I do have to wonder about him. We know why he did it, he thought it was for the good of humanity. This, along with several other little, subtle things paint a picture for just what type of person he is, and why he could feel fully justified in this, and so unable to understand why people can’t see this. He is smart, very smart, and it’s often a cliche about how smart people tend to have poor social skills. But that isn’t wholly untrue, and Velcheik seems like a much more realistic case then the idiocy on the Big Bang Theory. It’s clear he understand emotions, he gets feelings, he’s not a robot. He’s also not a sociopath, he doesn’t think others are just pawns. But at the same time, some of the ways he words stuff, some of what he says is, just a little bit off. Like someone who knows about emotions, who knows he’s supposed to act a certain way, be encouraging, who understands there are certain social graces. But doesn’t quite fully understand them. Are simply what he’s supposed to do. From what I’ve seen, I think it’s a case of he can understand, on an intellectual level, others emotions, but seems to not really be able to empathize with them. To understand them. Which would make what he did to Sunflower perfectly logical to him and not seem at all wrong. After all, it would only be used if she disobeyed orders. So it would be her fault for doing that. He wants things perfectly orderly, logical, in control and doesn’t really get how that does not work with people. So what he did, and why is understandable, but he’s still an asshole for it, and how he dealt with it afterwards.
And there are so many minor or secondary characters I could go on, all of them a delight. But, those are the major one. The rest can be summed up as, simply being amazing, each in their own ways. Maggie’s caring nature. Erin’s parents determination mixed with incessant politeness, the frankly awesome portrayal of the military officers involved, being respectful, professional, and all around decent people. All the other ponies, the only other issue I have when it comes to characters or their interactions is Meadowlark. I loved her in the first half, second half, the whole falling out between her and Sunflower.. not a huge fan. I do get where she was coming from, but the whole thing seemed to not be handled well, mostly in how it didn’t quite get any closure, and the odd way it seemed to end on a good note. Meadowlark inviting Sunflower back, still upset with her, but maybe able to forgive her in time, but all mention after that makes it seem like Sunflower things she’s personna non grata as far as Meadowlark is concerned. Just odd. But beyond that, just a purely phenomenal cast of lively, realistic characters that it’s a joy to read, even all they are doing is sitting around shitting the breeze.
Engagement: One massive potential issue with this story, one that if you have not read it yet (Seriously look at all the spoilers so far, why would you be reading this if you haven’t?) you definitely need to be aware of and ready to deal with. One that, simply is there and has to be admitted is a fundamental part of the story. Namely, that if you are not careful, this story will seriously screw up your sleep cycle as you are up all night unable to put it down. Every scene has it’s own charm, always leaves you wanting o know more. The cast are so vibrant, so well done that you simply want to keep seeing them interacting, learn more about them. it’s gripping enough at first, but not suck you in, can’t put it down engrossing. But near the end of the first half, from the point where we find out The Princesses know about something messing with the Veil and are starting to investigate matters. (which is also the point where Malachite starts to becoming a clear threat as well.) you can’t put it down, needing to find out how thing go. The story keeping just the right level tension, a slow “Oh crap, this could go really really bad, what is going to happen” worry, without actually having anything bad a certainty. But just building, and building. The Princesses are coming, Twilight knows Sunflower isn’t a real pony, the human’s back at Harmonics are pulling some clearly shady shit with Sunflower, Malachite knows about her, all coming to a head with Malachite possessing Sunflower and the Princesses finding out about what she is, only for the implants to shut her off. It keeps things exciting, tense, it makes you unable to put it down, needing to see where this goes. Even after that mid-point climax, you want to keep reading, to see how things will go between the humans and Ponies, what will happen with Malachite? While it does, over time die down from “Must read.. can’t stop” glued to the screen... ness. It still never stops being intriguing, leaving you curious, while always being fun enough to read that you never really get bored either. Even with the parts of the story that, as above, are simply character sitting around talking about nothing major. So yeah a story that once you pick up, you will not want to put down till it is done, and then only want to keep going even then.
Ponyness: Okay the above sections, some good, okay mostly good, but some issues as well. Some places the story could do better. Not so here. Here, this section, just how true to the show it’s based on it is, both in narrative, and in how well it taps into what it is that makes FIM so amazing in the first place, is where above all other things the story does right, all the amazing characters, all the nearly perfectly balanced tension, all the amazing worldbuilding. This is what truly, truly makes this story so flat out amazing. When it comes to being a ‘pony’ story, this fic is about as perfect as you could get. It clearly and completely gets what it is that makes Pony so wonderful. It is a grand display of the very heart of what it is that makes this show the amazing work of beauty it is at it’s best. I will flat out say, reading this story, it hit me hard there. It reminded me of just why I fell in love with this show and this fandom in the first place, and not just that, but actually stop and look at those feelings, to really explore them a bit more. So yes, this is quite definitely one of the most ‘pony’ stories I have ever read. A story that embodies so much of what makes MLP as sensational as it is.
But why?
Well let’s start with one rather simple facet it gets right about Ponies and Equestria that so, so many seem to utterly miss.
"That leaves one very important question, though," she said. "Probably the most important one, and nopony has even asked it yet."
"Okay," Erin said, visibly bracing herself. "What is it?"
"Sunflower. Erin. Whatever you want to call yourself. I have to know just one thing," Pinkie said, walking forward until she was standing directly in front of the alien mare, who looked back at her warily. "I need to know: Are you sorry at all for lying to us?"
Erin flinched back in surprise, and then her face contorted as her composure shattered.
"Yes!" she sobbed. "Every day! Every single day, I hated myself for it. I hated every minute of it! I wanted to tell the truth, but at first I was too scared to. And then they kept telling me I couldn't. And, I'd make up my mind every other day that I would tell you, I'd tell you all everything, and then they'd just end up talking me out of it."
Erin was crying hard now, and Twilight started tearing up as well. She knew that Erin wasn't lying, her spell told her that much. The other girls gave her a questioning look, and she nodded. Erin was telling the truth. She really was sorry.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, you deserve so much better than me, I didn't deserve your friendship, I'm sorry..."
Pinkie reached out with a hoof and touched the sobbing mare gently on the shoulder. Erin looked up, her eyes red-rimmed from the tears looking into the bright blue of Pinkie's eyes. Pinkie drew her into a tight hug, and Erin's eyes widened in surprise as she said, "In that case, I can forgive you."
So many complain about this villain, or that antagonist ‘reforming’ and how easily the ponies just ignore their past. It is missing one of the most beautiful parts of that world, of ponies. The entire culture runs on Easily Forgiven. They are willing to overlook anything, to forgive almost anything, so long as the one that messed up is sorry. Truly sorry, not just “Sorry I got caught” but fully regrets what they did and wishes to move on, to be better. It is not a ‘flaw’ it is not an issue, it is one of the most glorious and heartwarming parts about Ponies. And this story nailed that.
Also on the Equestrian end, the ponies are every bit as friendly, kind, honest, generous, loyal, and good natured as you’d expect. Upon finding out the plight of humanity, even with it being due to finding out the deception they’ve been carrying out on the ponies via Sunflower, that they have been spying on them for months, Celestia and Luna’s very first response is to immediately try and find out how they can help. Yes, not everypony is as eager, some have reservations, not opposed to helping, but thinking that the shear scale is beyond their ability to do anything, or worried about being able to do so without vastly impacting life in Equestria, having to give up to much. Upset over the deception. And not all their fears are unfounded, they are, for the most part, valid worries. But Celestia very simply, and beautifully puts it all into it’s place, lays out the simple truth they are overlooking, gets right to the heart of the matter.
"Because life is more sacred than land. And because giving up a few dozen square miles of land that we're barely using is an extremely small price to pay to save the lives of so many. And, most importantly, because not helping them in such a desperate time would make us into something less noble than we currently are."
Celestia said all of that calmly, firmly, but without any kind of sternness or anger.
Just a simple, heartfelt declaration that gets right to the point. Not casting a judgement, not some large speech, not some play to emotions. Just a simple statement that saving so many lives is worth some sacrifices, and that to stand by and do nothing while so many perish would diminish them. It would be an act that would tarnish them to do. But above all, they should do this, simply because it is the right thing to do. And their every action backs this up. Celestia begins making plans to help, taking actions that will inconvenience many, that will have economic impact for Equestria, before even talking to a single human besides Sunflower. Simply due to knowing what is at stake and with no idea of how they could be paid back and no thought to it. And once official negotiations open? The Ponies deal fairly, they do everything they can to aid the humans, without being selfless, without going to far and simply rolling over and letting the humans do what they want. Firm, strong, but caring. Making sure not to get the short end of the stick, but doing everything reasonable to help. Giving Humanity a place to settle, sending ponies over to help the land flourish like Equestria, ensuring that they are given enough food till that comes to pass, and asking only that all humans agree to respect the current denizens of Equiis, treat them as equals, obey their laws when in their lands, and limit what military hardware they bring. Allowing personal firearms, enough weaponry for humans to feel secure and be able to defend themselves, but ensuring it is not enough they will pose a danger to the other races. Asking that humanity share their technology, teach what they know to the other races, and allow Equestria to share in the exploration and colonization of other worlds found by project Harmonics. All perfectly reasonable requests, and this is coming from the side that has all the power, that could dictate whatever terms they want. They have found a way to deal with the gateways to Earth, to make sure that no human sets foot on Equestria ever again. Yet they treat humanity not as potential, invaders, not as supplicants, not as refugees. They treat them as potential friends.
Yes it’s what you would expect, it is how you would think ponies would work, but it’s done with such simple, straightforward directness, while also being low key about it. It’s never made like this is a big deal, never hammered home, most of that is simply implications, not something outright said. It is the way that the story simply takes it as a given fact that things would go this way. But, while all of that is great, all of it is just what you’d expect from Pony, there is one more bit that pushes it further, that makes this such a masterpiece of that idea. You expect Ponies to be treated in a good light, but humanity? This is what solidifies it, what pushes it that extra step.
“I dearly hope you’re right, Princess,” he replied. “But I’m afraid that it’s you who has misjudged them. I’ve read some of the materials provided. Enough to know that the worst monsters in human history have one thing in common: they are all human.”
“This is true,” Celestia replied, “but so are their greatest heroes. Humans who gave their lives to bring those monsters down, to make their world a better place for their children. Those who gave generously to those who had too little. Those who care for the sick, or the injured, or the dispossessed, and ask nothing in return. And, my dear Heart’s Bloom, those humans outnumber the monsters by a significant number.”
That statement, it is what pushes the story into being such a shining beacon of the hope, and optimism that is one of the cores of why FIM can be so powerful.
Well, the easiest explanation, or at least the one that can best convey the idea in less then my usual massive wall o’ text come from internet reviewer SF Debris, now this quote is not about this story, but it nearly perfectly applies to this case as well.
Works that do not deny the darkness of life, or the stupidity of humanity, and yet do not allow this to descend into pessimism and cynicism. To not destroy optimism, but to remind us, we can do better, and we will.
Now, in this case he was talking about the works of the late, and so very very great Sir Terry Pratchett. Now while this story, while great in it’s own right, is no where even close to Sir Pterry’s level of mastery when it comes to the craft of writing (and honestly very very few things can be.) It does come from the same place, share that same heart. That same overall sense as expressed in that quote. But where Discworld does it through wit and satire, Sunflower does it though simple honesty, simply presenting these worlds as they are, not even making a big deal out of it, simply being an example of optimism by being optimistic, but also realistic about things. Of showing people being better, doing the right thing, simply being all around decent beings.
That might not sound like much, but consider the context, consider what this story is about. Humanity needs a new world, and the only one we have to escape to is Equestria. Think how you’d expect things to go. This story, never even tries to go where you’d expect. There is no idiot bureaucrat putting his personal hang ups and pettiness ahead of the good of the planet. No General Ripper chomping at the bit to make a show of force. To unleash hordes of amoral soldiers that will follow any order, no matter how morally bankrupt and wrong, to put those ponies in the place and secure this world for Humanity! No shadowy conspiracy trying to screw things over for their own benefit.
But that alone can’t really be enough to make it so great in that regards, right? No it’s not. What elevates it to that extra level, makes it so powerful is that it doesn’t just magically pretend none of that exists. It doesn't just ignore it. All those things are potential issues. One of the main reasons Erin agrees to become Sunflower is because she knows that if things go badly, if they can’t get the Ponies to agree to this, then humanity will still come over, only it will be as invaders. She wants to make sure that does not happen. But, it’s always clear, even then, that such a move, though fully possible, is only an absolute, worst case scenario, last ditch effort at survival. If it comes down to no other choice then one between the Ponies, and the survival of the human race, it’s made clear what that choice will be. But only in that case. Military intervention is their last resort if all else fails, not even considered as an option before that point.
And the real point, the real beauty, what makes this work so well, is how this is never treated at all odd. The story never denies that humans have done some bad things, that there have been monsters. But, it does not focus on just the bad. As the quote above says, the story does not try to pretend humanity darker aspects are not there, but does not let that eclipse what is good about us either. It denies cynicism, denies pessimism, and all without making a show of it. Simply by showing this world, showing these things, that utter lack of darkness, and just treating it like nothing special, like this is simply how things are, or will be. Just taking for granted that people are, on the whole, decent folk. There is no hint of the misanthropy that pervades so so many works like this
That it makes this point so simply, simply by being what it is, without preaching it, it truly gets one of the cores of FIM. Equestria isn’t perfect, ponies have their flaws, the story does not deny this either. THAT is it’s true power, it’s true strength. It is a story that does not blindly pretend bad stuff doesn't happen. It accepts them, it admits they are there. That there are things to be cynical about, there are dark things that can and do happen. It knows this, it admits this. But it then rejects them as being the norm. It rejects the cynicism, that so pervades so much nowadays, without being blind to the things that cause that cynicism. rather then that, it looks at them, and then looks at all the good that is ignored by those ascribing to the more cynical outlook, and firmly chooses the more optimistic outlook. Not out of ignorance, denial, but simply because it feels that is the better choice. Showing us that yes, we can be better, and we will. And that is one of the greatest assets of this show, it can inspire people to be better. And this story is a glowing example of that.
Overall: Exemplary. Another rating that should be no surprise after all the praise I’ve heaped on this story. Is it perfect? No. There are some flaws, some things it did better. Those I’ve noted and a few other minor points. But none of those flaws compares to what it does right. The shear joy, and warmth and enjoyment of watching these characters be themselves. The power of it’s message of optimism, without ever treating it like a message, it’s utter rejection of cynicism, it’s embracing of the values that makes Pony, Pony. Everything it is about is simply beautiful. This is a story I would consider a must read for EVERYONE, there is no reason not to. Out of all the many, many pony-fics I have read, there is only one story I could say I would, hooves down, no question, rank above this story as being the absolute best of the best. Just one. Several that might be on the same level, but each with their own pros and cons. This is one of the single greatest, most amazing, touching, powerful stories I have read. And yes, much much Liquid Pride was shed while reading this story. If you have not checked it out, do so, now. If you have, give it another read, it’s worth it.
In conclusion this story is, simply amazing in so many levels, the characters are a joy to experience, the story tense, engaging and intriguing, and above all having a sense of optimism that few can reach. A story that makes you feel good, that has a kind of simple power in how plainly it simply presents a world so well, and so lacking in cynicism. Without being naive. A story that makes you want to be better, simply by living it’s own example. Just like the wonderful, amazing show that we are all here because of.
Once again, from the bottom of my heart, Thank you Hoopy for writing such an amazing, touching story. For all the work you put into it, for creating something so beautiful, so wonderful, and for sharing it with us. It has touched me, moved me, more then almsot any story, and any pony fic, save the one I mentioned above. But that is a review for another time.
Till then, have a rather touching outro song. We don’t need a magical portal to Equestria to make this world, just a little more like it, a little better.
Project: Sunflower is a bit of a weird story for me. When I first finished reading it I absolutely loved it, so I wrote a 1500+ word comment on the story (which is I think the second longest one I've ever written) and put it in my top 15 for a time. I'm not quite certain why, but I later found the story to be a bit lacking in "staying power," which led to me removing the story from my top favorites and sort of just forgetting about reading it. It doesn't help that, despite the story's widespread popularity, most reviews I see of it are rather mixed, so I'm often left with a hazy impression of a story that I thought was amazing, but one I may have overrated. Thus, I find it very nice to hear some positive words about this story, since it allows me to feel a bit more comfortable with how I originally felt about it. I'll have to reread it some day to be sure, but through reading this I can vaguely recall some of the things I really enjoyed about this story.
You can't just give some other story that level of praise without actually naming it!
Wow, that's a long, thorough and insightful review... I'm honestly humbled by the amount of thought and work you put into it! Thank you, truly.
Every criticism you leveled is perfectly valid, I think. I could have done a lot more planning before I published this story, and it would have benefited greatly if I'd brought in pre-readers/editors from the very beginning. But, even though I feel an itch to go back and re-write the whole thing sometimes, I'm still immensely proud of it. This was the first story anywhere near this scope that I actually managed to finish, and I learned a lot from it.
I'm glad you enjoyed it overall, even with its flaws. Thanks again for your review!
3902030 Oh I'll get to that one, don't want to spoil the surprise.
But you've almost certainly heard of it, it's one of the biggest, most famous (or infamous), fics in the fandom, As well as one of the oldest that is still incredibly common to have brought up.
And yeah I've read those reviews and... was left utterly puzzled by what they were talking about and how they could have that impression. Worst is that "Six Star Pony review" blog.... but I have yet to see a single review by him that made any sense at all for what he was talking about. Do not like him in the least.
3902846 Commence the endless circle of Thank you for thanking me for thanking you etc..... Still so much I wanted to say, so many details to point out, it really was an all around beautiful story. Of course, now to get a Sunflower fix I need to start on the sequels. You think that was long, thought out and detailed, just wait till you see what I do with unfinished stories I love as I'm reading them.
3903277
I think I have a good guess on which fic you're talking about now.
I wouldn't be too harsh on Chris (the writer of One Man's Pony Ramblings). I generally do agree with the things he says, and most of the times I disagree are for things where YMMV.
3905680 Part of it.. a large part, is likely that he seems to focus more on the structure, on how it is written, looking at the technical details about the writing itself, while not really going much into the heart, the meat of the story. He seems to focus more on how the story is told/written, then what the story is about. Which is the completely and totally opposite way of how I generally look at things.
That entire mindset is just, so cold to me, seems to be lacking any enjoyment, and sense of being able to understand how beautiful something can be by being overly clinical about it. Personally, I hold SF Debris up as my ideal for how to be a critic/reviewer. Hell he's what got me into pony in the first place.