Baby Flurry Heart · 1:27am Mar 31st, 2016
...Tydal is her Goatfather. He will lavish her with gifts, including 'Baby's First War Axe' and the pop-up book "The ABCs (Of Murdering Your Enemies)".
That is all.
aka Mr. Chaos of the "Harry Potter: Pokemon Master Series", "Authors of Our Own Fate", and "A Man of Iron"
...Tydal is her Goatfather. He will lavish her with gifts, including 'Baby's First War Axe' and the pop-up book "The ABCs (Of Murdering Your Enemies)".
That is all.
Ha ha ha! I love it!
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"Tydal, stop reading her that!" Shining snapped.
"But she likes it!" Tydal protested, Flurry sitting on his head, watching as he used his magic to turn to the next page and began to read. "I is for Immolation. The usurper to the crown was immolated." Flurry stared with bright eyes as Tydal tugged on a little flap, causing tiny little paper flames to pop up around the image of a pony in chains. "Usurper's on fire... usurpers not on fire. Usurper's on fire-"
"Usurpers not on fire!" Shining growled, slamming the book shut.
Flurry sniffed. "Waaa! Waaaa! Waaa!"
"...fine. Usurpers on fire." Shining glared at Tydal as his daughter giggled and clapped her hooves.
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Sompony draw a fanart of this, NOW!!!!!
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"Why did you give my daughter an actual axe?!?" Shining shouted.
"How else is she suppose to decapitate her enemies?" Tydal said, rolling her eyes. "It is my duty, as her Goatfather-"
"I never said you could be that! You just stormed in here and screamed "I'm the Goatfather, where's the baby?!" and began giving my daughter weapons!"
"-to ensure she knows the ways of the world. When you die and I replace you as her Better Dada-"
"Stop saying that!"
Tydal ignored him. "-I will teach her much. But if I am in the bathroom she may need to defend herself for a few seconds. The axe will teach her how to protect herself in three months when you die. Now then, I think I will show her how to use it on one of your guards-"
"De-nied!" Flurry Heart giggled.
Tydal just stared at the foal in shock.
"...wot?"
"De-nied!" Flurry squealed, swinging her axe around.
"Well, she's your daughter alright," Celestia told Shining with a smirk.
Yes, because what Equestria needs is for the baby who accidentally turned the Crystal palace to swiss cheese and wrecked the shit of an ancient artifact, nearly dooming an empire, is to become MORE destructive...
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Oh my goodness that is perfect!
I can see Flurry Heart "de-nying" Tidal from killing something and inadvertently saving lives for it.
I can imagined Flurry Heart denying her Goatfather, and Shining laughing hysterically. Which reminds me, she's a baby ALICORN, meaning, much like the other Alicorns, she'll have to learn how to control her power lest she make everything around her go kablooie. And while Tydal enjoys explosions, I doubt he'd want his family to be accidentally hurt. Then again, that spell Sunburst gave them to help regulate Flurry's magical outbursts might help.
Flurry Heart keeps freezing him, but she gets away with it because she's so cute.
A is for Assault, the most direct route.
B is for Beating, because you hired a brute.
C is for Cutting, for those most contemptable.
D is for Decapitation, when doubt's unacceptable.
E is for Execution, the theme of this missive.
F is for Fun, and we're quite permissive.
G is for Gibbet, from which they'll he Hanged.
H is for Hangman, the fete soon arrainged.
I is for Immolate, to leave nothing behind.
J is for Judgement, to distract peon minds.
K is for Keeping your throne room your own.
L is for Lynching, to thin out the drones.
M is for Mighty, so show them you stuff.
N is for Nightshade, when poison's enough.
O is for Operate, when you want to learn more.
P is for Public, your subjects galore.
Q is for Quirky, try to keep it inventive.
R is for Regal, your one great incentive.
S is for Secret, where your soldier's works mass.
T is for Torture, thought lacking in class.
U is for Under, as in water and soil.
V is for Vivsection, as much play as toil.
W is for Wealth, like you keep in a vault.
X is for nothing, but that's hardly our fault.
Y is for Your, your kingdom and citizens.
Z is for Zero, how much you tolerate dissidents.
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"There, are you done with the book?" Shining asked.
Tydal, who was standing next to Flurry Heart's crib, nodded as he looked over and saw the little foal happily asleep. "Yes, yes I am."
"Good, now you can get out and stop corrupting my child,' Shining stated, gathering up all the weapons Tydal had put in the nursery.
"Tomorrow we will begin reading '10 Little Monkeys'."
"...oh," Shining said, in surprise. "I remember that book. My mom use to read it to me. But wasn't it called 10 Little N-"
"Shining, don't!" Cadence hissed.
"Oh, right. Anyway. I'm sure that will be fine."
~Next Night~
"Ten little monkeys jumping on the bed," Tydal read to the grinning foal. "Flurry Heart came by and CHOPPED off his head! Now nine little monkeys jumping on the bed!"
"Yay!" the baby screamed in delight.
"Look on the bright side," Cadence said to a twitching Shining, "she's my daughter to so you know she'll be hot... but any boy that tries to get to second base will be torn to shreds!"
"I suppose there is that..." Shining muttered.
Tydal frowned. "No Goatchild of mine is dating til she's thirty. Shining, we must murder every teenage stallion that tries to court her!"
"...I am oddly okay with that."
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