Everyone who can bother to listen to a retard (me), tell me some jokes.

I need something to kill the boredom of waiting for a damn story to get Passed or not.

Jokes, people. Now!

Please.

Comments

[BaroqueNexus]

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
"Wow!" says the bartender. "That's pretty special. Where'd you get it?"
"Africa!" says the parrot.

[Xarsor]

What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

[gamexpert1990]

If you don't mind blonde jokes, here's one I heard a while back:

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You are on the other side!"

[UniqueSKD]

3680325 Sonic 06', Sonic Boom.

Best Sonic joke ever. Anyone who says otherwise is silly and their argument is invalid.

[Xzaves]

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Juan

[UniqueSKD]

3680331 I think you stole that joke. There's just something fishy about it...

Meh. It made me chuckle. So it don't matter. XD :)

[UniqueSKD]

3680348 It's a good thing I'm strawberry-blonde myself, or I'd take complete offense to that.

Hang on a second, there's a guy who looks like me at the window and he's copying my movements.

Oh wait that's a mirror...

Anyway good joke. Made me giggle.

[Xzaves]

What's the difference between Jam and Peanut Butter?
I can't Peanut Butter my cock down your throat.

[UniqueSKD]

3680376 Even if I swung that way, I doubt it'd get even that far, so there's another difference. XD

[Xzaves]

3680384 Hahaa, small penis joke

[UniqueSKD]

3680470 Well, it's officially has been 24 hours and my story hasn't been Passed or sent a message telling me what else is wrong with it.

I'll wait until tomorrow evening.

Then I'll blow my mental fuse.

[Rustybuckets]

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is heavy and the other one is a little lighter!

[DuskPhoenix]

*cracks knuckles*

What do you call a guy with no legs or arms who's in front of your door?
Mat.

What do you call a girl with a wooden leg?
Peggie.

What do you call a boy who fell off a five story building?
An ambulance.

[BaroqueNexus]

Donald Trump.

[Cookie Encylopaedia]

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

[Cookie Encylopaedia]

Mother: "Are you talking back to me?!"
Son: "Well yeah, that's kinda how communication works."

[Nerdz]

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could CHUCK NORRIS.

[UniqueSKD]

3680688 I bit my tongue saying that sentence and now I have to risk waking my parents up to get a bandage.

Screw it. I'll just wrap some paper tissue around my tongue. It's not like I need to to communicate with you or anyone else. XD