Rage Review: It Must Be Tuesday by Foals Errand · 9:44am Dec 26th, 2015
This is your spoiler warning. Here is the fic, here is the story’s cover art, if you do not want my opinion to possibly taint yours, go read it now. And before anyone yells at me for being a prereader, she knew all of this and more before she published, and I have her permission to do this.
*breathes in deeply.* So, before I begin, let me clear a few things. Yes, this story, It Must Be Tuesday, is done by my best friend, Foals Errand, who I have collaberated and edited with many times before now. I did in fact hear her out on the concept, listening to what her plans were, and even preread for this story. I even applauded when she told me she would make sure to not just redo the pilot in this, but make interesting changes.
I got none of that… in an AU with a reclused Twilight having been the princess of Equestria for a thousand years. I not only got none of those interesting changes from the pilot, but literally NONE of the interest she promised me. And I can prove that with two bits, the first of which simply proves my claim from earlier.
“If you are done laughing, those clouds really do need to be taken care of, and if you can’t handle it, I’m sure Luna can.” Celestia grinned as Rainbow Dash stood up and narrowed her eyes. Gotcha.
“Don’t you worry. I can get rid of those clouds in ten seconds flat!” Rainbow Dash spread her wings as Celestia nodded.
“Go on then, prove it.”
She counted down from ten to one as Rainbow Dash beat back the clouds a small smile on her lips as Rainbow Dash hovered in front of her. “Ten seconds flat! You know, you’re a lot of fun, Celestia. I can’t wait to hang out with you again!”
So, I know not everyone has seen the pilot as many times as I have, as I use it to introduce people to the fandom and have seen it at least a half a dozen times. However, I think we can all remember Rainbow Dash’s intro, and those four exact moments, as that created one of the first MLP memes. What with the Rainblow Dry being used earlier to clear off snow, you explain that one to me, and you get a scene by scene recreation of Twilight meeting RD, but this time with Celestia… who is from a different timeline… and knows nothing of this world. See the issue? If you don’t, I’ll clarify further when I get to ‘Luna’. However, backtrack real quick to that whole ‘Knows nothing of this timeline bit’ when you read
“Wait, why me? It’s addressed to you! Celestia!” Luna’s voice echoed as both mares blinked into the hall outside of Princess Twilight’s study.
I include the whole line to make sure you understand that it’s Celestia blinking them to Twilight’s study, which would require her knowing where it is, and for her to know where it is in presumably Canterlot Castle, we would need a Canterlot Castle that would be the EXACT SAME AS CELESTIA’S. And she doesn’t do this only once. She does it again later to see Twilight’s assistant, Spike, who is there despite ‘Luna’ having come from Spike’s egg. Though, that’s fitting.
See, you may have noticed the quotation marks around Luna. Let me tell you what Luna is. Luna is a lazy, baby changeling, who is first found in the form of a dragon, does nothing about Celestia’s perceived insanity except mock it, and lights papers on fire to send them, and burps them out in fire to recieve them.
In other words, Luna is Spike. I mean it. Besides Celestia saying it’s Luna, she is a complete ripoff of Spike. That, or high off of her ass, as her apparent mother literally tells her that she, as a changeling and everything else, does not exist to Celestia, but still gets a small ‘dawww’ moment as she wants to hear MORE about how she was Celestia’s LITTLE SISTER! Because yeah, when your closest companion goes batshit psycho and you spend three THOUSAND words berating her, mocking her, or not giving a SINGLE fuck, you want to hear more about how you’re forgotten.
Of course, why should she? Celestia herself doesn’t care about this world. Twilight claims to have a plan, that she never explains, or leads on about at all, and this is Celestia’s response.
Luna hesitated before nodding “Alright, but she said she had a plan.”
“Yes, and it is one that will fail... Trust me, I had the same plan.
Yes, because you and your student, one a calm, collected ruler of a thousand years, the other showing darker, more reclusive traits, but able to at least tell somepony that she has a plan, are the exact same. Heck, despite you thinking this only a few lines before.
That Twilight is my worst nightmare. She’s what I feared my student would grow to be.
There are a million things like almost all of this, and that is why I’m even talking here today. Just like Luna is merely called Luna rather than being her, this is just called an Alternate Universe story. An Alternate Universe changes some part of the lore of My Little Pony, either by changing something small, or making it completely new, but with the characters we know and love, and creating something through that. If you were to tell me that you wanted ANYPONY to replace Celestia as the eternal princess, I would tell you that I would pay money to see that.
Unfortunately, when you make an Equestria with a few name and pallet swaps, with a setup with your characters that breaks under the slightest glance, you don’t deserve a dime for that story in my opinion. This story refuses to change a damn thing from the show, blatantly steals from it, the changes made are either entirely negligible, Luna, or make the pilot a hundred times worse, like the two thousand words it takes to get to hearing about Fallen Star after Celestia has been called fifty shades of fucked up. And hey, have another quote from directly after Luna is told about the universe Celestia is from to prove how little the changeling believes her.
Luna stared at Celestia and blinked once. Then twice. “All right, let me see if I have this right… You come from another reality in which you are Princess Celestia, the princess of the day. I am Princess Luna, the princess of the night, and Princess Twilight is your former student who has ascended to become a princess herself?” Celestia nodded eagerly as Luna stared at her then snorted. “Wow, that is some dream you had, Tia! You should write it down to send to Princess Twilight. She’d love it!”
The jokes are subpar, the writing is bad as far as EVERY character goes, exposition is ham fisted, clunky, and usually done by Celestia just plowing through Luna’s complaints, and the premise is a lie. You should be able to sell me YOUR universe, and the characters in that universe. This story, fails on all accounts, except for the changes in names, and that is inexcusable to me.
I'm glad this was in my feed.
I was going to read this story, but I wasn't really sold on the idea. I freely admit this may be because of previously reading A Glint of Light on Broken Glass. It certainly isn't because I don't like FE's work, but when it comes to AUs like this, I think it takes extra work just to sell the idea, and the provided description didn't really sell it for me.
I think I'm going to pass on this one.
I ended up reading the story not long after it was approved and only just stumbled across this. The idea of the story makes me want to read it and I have to say I strongly admire your ability to give an honest opinion/review even on a friends story. As someone who simply reads to enjoy a story, I overlook many of these points you make and just read, but I can't say I disagree with the points you made. I just like the idea and will be keeping an eye on this story because it interests me.
Naturally, I only read half of your review before I started writing. And, after a quick once over and personal experience I understand that alternate universes are in the beginning, (from what I understand of your opinion) mostly of small palette swaps and name changes. But, I'm trying to figure out if your concern is that the sandbox has too much of the same, or if the concept has too many character differences (or inconsistent behaviors) from the source material. I like writing crossovers, or rather mashing together different stories together, in part to explore similarities and differences between what would otherwise be incompatible universes. In order to write a crossover a significant number of characters and events have to remain consistent with the source otherwise the differences couldn't be appreciated and the drift wouldn't be as readily apparent. I feel character introductions is one of those things where the philosophy of 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' should be the norm. So, (in theory) if new characters aren't being introduced, just alternate versions/visions of them reside.
Of course, I already know what I want to explore, what changes I intend to make, and how I want a story to end before I start writing. I see it as an experimental learning exercise. With Binky's Friend, for instance, the changes from the source materials would be that Diamond's 'astral body' is slowly disintegrating, Fluttershy is a bishamonton/god of war analog, Twist will be a Casandra's truth character who no one will listen to because they perceive her to be stupid, and I just really want to screw up a changeling invasion by pitting them up against superior predators. With Seduction of the innocent, I had to make Trixie somewhat (not necessarily autistic, but) logic (if not fallacy) driven and mechanicistically minded. Because I'm one of those folks that figures it's more honest to show where the idea came from I always figure it's best to make the character and source references as obvious as possible. With some effort I could probably hide the source material, but it's more of a challenge to make a coherent story with obvious conflicting rules operating on the playing field.
In short, after reading half your review, I'm not entirely sure what you're complaining about. What I'm reading into this is that; You say it's worthless, you explain why you feel that way, and express that you wouldn't pay a dime to read such a schlocky piece of work (for lack of a better term). But, it's being offered for free. The author, who I hope is more than just a contact when you use the word friend, is probably using it as a training exercise to potentially improve the general quality of their work. I'm Just not sure I entirely understand why you felt the need to write a negative review. If you're attempting to make others aware of problems you've already spotted then I believe you're doing your friend a disservice. Because, the readers looking to verify the issues you've already spotted (in a vain hope of verifying the writer's potentially deluded efforts) distracts them from other problems, concerns, issues, crisis, and things that an untrained eye might catch that an otherwise personal touch or professional eye would miss.
Surely, you've seen Lifetime movies. Of the ones I've seen, I'm shocked at how bad and ridiculous many of them are. But, they have an emotional component that feels right even though the story and characters are a bit beyond belief. I thank you for writing this review, even though I only read half of it. Because now I feel neither compelled to read your friend's story, much less follow through on reading the rest of this review. I apologize if TL;DNR seems a bit insincere at this point. But, I feel if you intend to write a review the novelty should exceed a certain threshold of interest. Now, I just see you as a bad friend and feel pity for the writer, where I might have otherwise shared your contempt. As mentioned before I'm not entirely sure what your goals or intentions were in writing this review. If your only goal was to convince others not to read 'It Must Be Tuesday' you've succeeded, but at what cost. In theory Foals Errand already knows your problems, concerns, and issues with their work. There was no reason to alienate others from sharing their own criticisms and unvarnished truth with the author. This reads more like a monotone lecture than a review. And, honestly, I think you can do better. Think of it this way, you're review could actually be sparing Foals Errand the paddling of the swollen fart factory by giving them a hemorrhoid... a spanking could be much better for the learning experience because it smarts repeatedly and is not as messy. Not to mention, if your partner agrees, with spankings you can always get really kinky.
3643978 I shouldn't give you any of my time as you only read half the review and don't seem to quite understand what reviews are for, By looking at bad work, we manage too get some of the annoyances in our own brains off, as well as allow an examination of the failures of others to get better. I did this to rant and showcase how weak the concept is and the fact that the story is an AU in the laziest sense, and how that can happen.
As for 'don't hate, it's an exercise' bit, she made this for the Twilestia contest going on right now, not just to write an AU. Heck, if that were the case, she would continue her beloved story, Mother.
3644126 Eh, give them credit. At least they didn't take one notice at your rating of it then left.
3644126
This was made for a contest? Wow, you know Sword Art Online was made for a contest and not only won but it was successful enough to get an animated series made... as I recall from the reviews, the same complaints were lodged against that story as well. I guess there's no accounting for taste. I figure the production model in the case of some series is still a bit like the way it's presented in 'pentagon wars' or 'the producers.' You need to give your adversaries the illusion of serious competition so you throw as much money into the fire as you can, and the person with the bigger pile of money at the end wins. I'm pretty sure that's how Uwe Boll gets funding anyway.
Greetings, citizen. Although I can appreciate the effort thou hast made in penning this review, thy use of "Rage Review" in the title is not something I can overlook. As thou may'st be already aware, Rage Reviews hath a process in which prospective reviewers must take and pass a small exam before they are permitted to write and post reviews for the group. We do this in order to maintain a modicum of control over the quality of the works by which our group will be judged. Seeing as thou art not an approved reviewer, Rage Reviews administration will thank thee to kindly refrain from using our name for unapproved works, as it may lead to some confusion.
I bid thee good day.
3647125 I've been using the name for a while, but I may change it to Raging Thought to play off of my name. Sorry for the issue.
3647130
Thine understanding and timely response are both appreciated in this matter.