26 Days (The Return of Final Draft) · 2:14am Dec 6th, 2015
It's been about a year since the last time I visited this site, and well over a year since I've written anything about talking, colorful ponies. For those of you who followed me before my departure, you may have been aware I was struggling with depression and a fair amount of self loathing. Things did not get better until recently, but there's a few things I need to touch on.
My close friend, Corey...
He's the reason I got into writing fanfiction. He ran the youtube channel "LetsPlayWithBronies" for those of you familiar with it. I lost touch with him in April which only furthered my depression. He was the one person I could count on hearing from every day, and suddenly it all stopped. All his accounts went inactive, his phone was deactivated as was his Facebook, and with him living in Michigan, me in New Hampshire, and no mutual connections between us, I had no idea what had happened to him. The last thing he had been bothering me with was claims of UFO's and lights in the sky, and he'd send me cell phone quality videos of lights going in and out of focus while he shouted, "Holy s###!" over and over.
So he bought a video camera and promised me some decent quality videos. That's when he disappeared. Not even his girlfriend knew where he'd gone. I did not want to believe the FBI or any other government organization was involved, but for him to just drop off the face of the planet, it was the only explanation I could believe in.
In June, his girlfriend contacted me. She said he was okay, but he was nervous about talking to me. I told her that unless he sold all of his electronics for drugs, and then lost the drugs, there was no way I'd be upset with him. So he agreed to call me, and I had one of the worst conversations I've ever had with another human being.
Back in February, Corey downloaded a folder containing child pornography -- a very large folder that had been put up by the FBI as part of a sting. He's looking at a long time in federal prison. He just turned twenty-three in May.
So...yeah...while that was happening, my father left my mother, I found out that I was allergic to my Adderall and had to stop taking it, the girl that I had fallen in love with broke my heart to pieces, and to top it off, I got put on new meds and they sent me into cardiac arrest, which if my roommate wasn't a licensed EMT and home at the time, I wouldn't be here right now.
Now for the happy. I'm off all medication, I have a stable relationship with a girl I've been with for two months, and my parents got back together. So, now I return to this, to put I Should Have Never Bought That Pony to rest. I have until the chime of the new year. We'll see if I stick around after that. I haven't watched anything since the finale of Season 3 and I don't know if I truly want to catch up. For now, this is my December distraction before I buckle down and start working on my other works of literature -- the one's without ponies.
YOUR BACK!
Wow... I never thought I'd hear from you ever again. From your posts, it definitely seemed like you were dealing with personal issuess. Glad you're still here and happy to hear things seem to be going well for you. I wish you luck on any future endeavors.
Holy crap that's one shit-tastic year. Sorry to hear about all the bad things you've been through. I can relate to having strings of terrible things happen, and to depression.
Don't push yourself. Take it slow and steady. Absolutely watch season four and season five--when you have time and can get around to it--and the Equestria Girls movies. A lot of fun things have happened in the world of pony lately, and it might be just what you need.
You know, just...everything in moderation, one day at a time, all that stuff.
Sorry to hear that dude. If you want to talk I'll listen.
I know how you feel, I never really hit depression but I have been close...many times.
Jesus man, you've been through hell. I'm glad you're okay,
FBI or not, they really shouldn't be trying to upload that type of shit onto the net. Not sure how they tried to get him or if he just seeks that stuff out, but that was just fucked up. Was he downloading like a giant pile of normal porn that came in a folder and that folder contained a few images of minors in there that got planted in among the lot, or was it specifically a folder OF child stuff?
America needs to overly punishing people for that sort of thing. It's pretty fucked up to take someone and throw them away in some prison over an image for most of their lives as if they actually touched a child. Pretty sure no one, okay most, don't actually seek out real kids to rape them. Hell, it's pretty stupid how we have a system that literally demands a monthly quota for putting people in jail and have mandates to seek out any and all available Zeroes (people with no criminal records) to seek ways to put at least one strike on them if not get them to do something really illegal to imprison them. I shit you not, it's a thing.
Touch a real child in some inappropriate manner? 5-7+ years? IDK. Actually do something stupid like rape a child: 20 to Life. Some real life image from some random website though? Rehabilitation center facility and like 3-5 years probation, an order to not be allowed near schools and other places where kids hang out and be registered as a potential predator at the very least. But seriously, if he isn't producing or sharing or even done a thing to a real child America really should be looking to HELP him rather than put him in a place where he won't be able to seek any help for looking at porn that the FBI ALLOWS and SUPPORTS to stay online. I have no doubt they'd be able to put those sites down if they wanted to.
Well, it's a fucked up lesson to learn not to be seeking those types of things if he was searching specifically for that stuff. But I pray they go easy on him and can see reason in that they get him help rather than toss him into a cell for their fucking quotas.
Sorry, really, just thinking out loud. I really am sorry for your loss and for him losing his life. I guess you can't save them all, but would it kill us as human beings to at least fucking try? We can spend trillions on funding perpetual wars but yet we can't house our poor, fix our shitty healthcare system because big pharma doesn't want change and even pushed to make going over the border to fill prescriptions illegal, cops getting away with beating and killing innocent civilians with even training how to beat one to just within an inch of their life... what the fuck world have we come to live in???
Shit, I did it again. This is why I surround myself with bright colorful happy things. This world is pure ass if you aren't already at the top. Or lucky enough to live in the few good places in the world... thinking about all this stuff is too god damn depressing and I don't know why I keep reading depressing shit all the time. I think I'm gonna go read something long cute and funny, my meds don't do enough for me. ><
Do whatever you need to, prioritize how you feel you should. We're just a bunch of people writing horsewords. The only obligation you have to us is the one you choose to feel.
wow c.c
I'm glad you're still around, at least!
I'm glad to here you are OK.
BTW remember the 205 Follower give-away? 95 weeks ago? and I won? I would like to let you know, I did get my Luna plushie, thank you for it.
If you need someone to stroke your ego, you know who to call.
Holy shit, sorry about what happened with Corey dude. Sorry about the stuff I left on your last journal, haha.
I went and made this account just to say I hope you have a wonderful life filled with joy, love, and ponies. Sorry, couldn't resist that last part.