Last update for a while. · 8:14pm Nov 6th, 2015
Well, today's chapter will be last for a while. Azu pointed out a few things, and it made me realize how flawed I really am as a person. The readers (you all) find me hard to approach because of how defensive I get. As a guy who grew up suppressing his feelings and struggled with Autism while never truly defending myself from bullies, I can admit that I'm a very emotional person. I beat my autism, graduated from college, and got a great paying job. So... what's the problem?
I either don't defend myself at all or I defend myself too much. Apparently, I wear my emotions on my sleeve and it's getting to where I can't function without getting upset, irritated, or frustrated. I don't mean to be a nuisance, but my emotions are why I'm able to write. I'm emotionally-invested in it, giving it my all. To give any less would be insulting to myself and the near thousands of readers (nine-hundred and eighty-six as of 2:11 P.M. on 11/6/2015) that follow me.
I'm too emotional. Simple as that. So I'm going to save everyone (and myself) some trouble by fading out for a few weeks. More than likely, I'll drop a update every week as scheduled, but don't expect me to reply to comments in the meantime. This is a drop-off, kind of thing.
Hopefully, I won't be as bothersome whenever I come back.
I'm sorry. For everything.
Dude..... I.... I'm so sorry.
I have Asperger disorder which is on the autism spectrum, and all i can say is "So what?" not saying it isn't a big deal it is it makes communications radically harder and different for the person who is affected by it, but I mean it in the way, that Why do you think its a problem for you to defend yourself differently than other.
People also misconceive us, we filter information or other details differently than others. even within our little spectrums I am different form my 'fellows' we all have our triggers and our faults and we react differently it isn't your fault that they cant approach you, only way to get better if for them or us to talk or socialize. We only get better by how much we do or don't do, we can only grow by how we act and react to our situations.
Never fault yourself there.
Passion/emotion isn't a crime or sin its suppressing them that oppression of not allowing another to express themselves that is crime (that said murder and molestation sex and such i think a pretty clear and large wall that we shouldn't trip there.) So please don't shut yourself off or shut yourself away I know more than anyone I think how destructive that is. I have so many anger issues STILL after coming out of self isolation for 10 years that cant just function with most people without true and utter anger and disgust, I am bound to my mistake but please save yourself and speak, people only need to understand and then we can all adapt (unless their ass holes.)
Please if anything talk to me, I don't want you to end up like I have to be unable to do much other than hate yourself for being incapable of dealing with people's comments without being eaten up having to hate yourself for not doing anything. Because when there is nothing, the mind eats itself, and attacks itself you yourself will harm yourself without someone to help you, so please just please, use me as your outlet if you need it, dont hesitate with me speak freely and I'll help anyway i can.
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way and I completely understand your desire to get away for a little while. If you ever need to chat, you know where to find me.
Don't be sorry, believe it or not, I have autism as well. I know that it's hard to control your emotions when you are put in situations, I mean, look at the comment I made when I was upset when the character's name tags were changed. So Maximus, know this, you are not alone. We'll be waiting for you until you think you're ready to continue. I'm sorry if we put you through any sort of grief. Good luck, and get well soon.
I'm autistic myself and I have loads of trouble trying to socially interact with people in the real world and handling my emotions. I rarely let out my emotions and I've always been the quiet type, mainly because I've always been hanging alone since my parents are always working most of the week and my brother has spent some years away at Uni and most of my friends I used to know have either moved away or I've lost contact with them. Most of the time I feel like an outcast when spending time with either family relative or friends as I feel the conversations or occasions I join in don't interest me so I just stay quiet and just listen unless I'm spoken to because I don't want to disappoint anybody. Usually when I do have the chance to speak up, I get immediately interrupted leading to a point where I get irritated and I just drop the subject. I always keep my emotions in check when I'm hanging around them since I don't want to ruin something and when have solitude to myself, I feel like I have the freedom to let those feelings out. Since I always spend time alone at home and whenever I go out on my daily life and work routines, I always feel that I should have a responsibility to just get on with things myself because no one else would do it or they just don't have the time right now. I'm always thinking of new ideas and playing them out in my head using my imagination, but apart from art and drawing, I've always have trouble trying to express those ideas in written form and trying to find the motivation to put a lot of effort into it because I want it to be the best it can be. Listening to classic music or film scores always helps me clear my head whenever I feel down about something and social sites like DeviantArt and Fimfiction give the a chance to get away from it for a while and actually talk to people in comments that share a common interest. But even with the difficulties I have, it doesn't stop me when people ask me to help them with something or I offer help to them myself and I'm able to stay in a friendly manner to them and help them the best I can do.
So don't feel down on yourself, you not alone here. If you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me. Take as much time off as you need.
Don't feel bad. I'm autistic and I get defensive a lot as well.
I'm sorry... I won't bother you again.
You know you can talk to us if you need to.
I'm very sorry to hear that. Every time I saw you "defend" yourself you never crossed a line with it. You were always fair about it. I'm not sure if I have what you have but I think I understand the feeling to an extent. I've always been told that I'm simply "wired differently" then others. Truth is a few years ago I used to attack people for no reason in the comment section (basically I was a troll) until eventually I grew out of that phase. Now I'm more reserved then I used to be. I'm always afraid of hurting anyones feelings unintentionally and sometimes I don't speak my mind. I've been looked down on for my love of comics and superheroes. To the point where some might say I'm not connected to reality enough. I simply love fiction more then my real life sometimes. I kinda see myself as talentless sometimes despite my abundant knowledge for this stuff. I mean if I could have any job I would want it to be at the comic industry talking with "my people" my fellow comic nerds. I'm never happier when I'm around them. I don't do much in real life because I'm afraid of disappointment and failure. When I was in middle school and high school I was constantly teased for always carrying a comic. Most kids knew me as the kid with a love for comics. Even when I was sent friendly letters that's how they described me. I was a very silent kid in the back of the class room when I wasn't talking about the stories I loved or when I was still reading. To the point where if I showed any other emotion it came as a surprise to my fellow class mates. Nothing major just irritation or annoyance. Anyway I'm sorry you feel this way. I hope that when you come back you will be willing to talk to me any time you need it. There is nothing wrong with being emotional. That just means your human. The same as me. If the "inside out" movie is anything to go by it's that it's ok to be sad. It's only natural. Your a very mature person. You have a right to defend yourself. After all no one is paying you to do this. You do it simply because you like it. More people should do that. I think it's better to follow your heart more then your head most of the time.
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Oh boy... I was afraid something like this might happen.
Maximus and I get along really well and are very similar on a creative level. However once emotions and feelings are brought to the table, things quickly get ugly. With myself being an INTP to the core and Maximus an INFP to his own, our opinions on thoughts and feelings... greatly differ to say the least.
He says I'm too cold and cruel, I say he's too emotional and soft. I check my feeling and emotions at the door when discussing and thinking about things, he let's his emotions and instincts guide his thoughts and choices. Neither of us are wrong, we just don't see things eye to eye in this aspect, and have a hard time relating to one another on an emotional level. This tends to greatly get in the way when we have disagreements in regards to the story.
Now toss in my Aspergers and my difficult time putting my personal thoughts and feelings in fluid words, and we have all kinds of lovely miscommunication. Which is funny, because despite working with him for a couple of years now, I never knew he had autism. Which actually explains a lot.
While Maximus may be the most difficult author I have ever worked with, he is also easily the most talented as well. A fact that he never gives himself enough credit on. I always say that he is a creative genius when it comes to wording and phrasing things. More often then not taking the bits that I write, add, or tweak and making them far better worded or detailed.
Anyway, I'll drag him back to us after a few days. I'm not about to let him disappear for weeks on end.
One does not simply hide from their editor, especially if that editor has since become your co-author.
3526710 AH.... WELL DRAG HIM BACK FASTER!
3526714
Too soon might be a bad idea.
3526710 If you can, please do. And if you succeed, you sir just earned yourself a cookie
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3526710 it's not your fault, Azu. Maxi just needs his alone time.
3526726 Just joking. Chill.
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Oh I'm not upset. Simply stating that it might not be the best idea to just go running after him right away.
As someone who has a serious lack of empathy and is socially retarded, (quite literally. Asperger's can really suck like that.) dealing with a more emotional person can be like navigating a minefield with a spoon.
So a lot of the blame falls on my end in that regard. The last thing I want to do is go running in when "I" am fine and he is not, making it worse.
3526769 Trust me... I know how that feels.
3526710 I see. I still Don't blame you though. This is just another line of misunderstandings that we can work through. We always do. He's stronger then he knows.
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We have our arguments and disagreements, but we always work them out.
Though I swear we fight like a married couple sometimes, seesh! Both of us are emotionally invested and "married" to the story.
3526710 I wonder if there should be a go between guy for you, one who is not too soft or too hard.
3526814 Gotta say I would have loved being included in some way or form. I feel like I could have helped other then being a fan/reader of his.
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That'd be difficult seeing as we often work together in real time and chat via Skype and such.
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You'd have to ask him. He's in charge of the "staff." I'm just his shadow.
3526842 I see. What's he look like on cam? If you don't mind me asking. Just curious.
Funny, never saw you as flawed. But then again who's perfect? Maybe because you have never given me a reason to think any less of you. In fact I envied your creativity of your work and how nice and patient you are with the fans. But you're human too and it's understandable that you go through this stuff, but as others have said, you're not alone. I sure ain't perfect, I have my set of flaws, so you're not alone, the other fans have also made that very apparent. Anyway figure things out, hopefully soon things will be better.
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Hehe. I'll leave that to him to tell you. But it's probably not what you are expecting. Let's just say that he looks like he'd catch a football long before the newest issue of a comic book release.
3526904 Wow. If I had to describe myself. I'd probably be pretty skinny for my age.
3526710 Am not saying he should be mad at you (or anyone), but i know what it is like when you have a emotional state and get ...its just I've been down his road, he'll blame himself for his emotions he like me has a hard time separating the things we love and enjoy from what should or may be considered "business" or approach from that perspective, its difficult for people sometimes. As for you sounds "cold" you both have it right and wrong, there's a time and place and you both seem by the sounds of it to be missing the cues for when its time for both to occur.
We're not saying anyone is bad guy here (at least am not) its just we need to all adapt learn and progress let our differences empower the whole. Its a matter of communications a middle ground where we can stop and say "Okay maybe I was to serious and need to rethink my approach." or "alright need to cool my head and think about how this might not flow right." Its all a matter of both trying to find your even grounds, moment you both realize you both could learn a lot. Because there's a time to be serious and a time to cut loose. Spider man is my favorite hero for just that reason yeah he was laid back, but he always took things with a note of seriousness.
I really just want to help him bottling up wont help anyone, and he will suffer for it if he does.
Gentle breeze guide you home, a warm smile welcome your return.
3526710 Well I hope he comes out of it soon, I hate to see him like this. If there's anything I've learned about emotions from watching that 'Inside Out' movie, it is that sometimes one has just got to let out their emotions so that everyone around them knows how they feel and be there to support them in anyway rather than keep them bottled up before it ends up tearing ourselves apart.
We may fall at certain points in our life every now and then, but it is so that we can rise up and overcome those feelings to better ourselves. Quoting Batman Begins; "Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up."
3527075 that's surprisingly inspiring for batman. Glad to see I'm not the only one referencing inside out for this situation.
I've never once in my life seen you as "hard to approach". If anything your the easiest guy to talk to that I've ever met.
3526726 very true. Best to let Maximus relax and recharge. I'll admit I'm a little peeved seeing as we've waited months for this finale and now have to wait longer, but I'm not gonna be an ass about it. As an individual with autism myself, certain parts of my life were tough (some extremely tough) but that's over, but it never goes away. All you can pray for is good people to guide you through it all... I've been blessed with that and I hope the same for everyone here. Get some rest Maximus... we await your triumphant return
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This honestly.
I haven't talked to him much because I don't wanna bother him but he's always been patient with me. He's even more patient than I am, and much more tolerant of others.
3528341 Total agreement there.
Hope you feel better, Max.
I'm too emotional as well, but I handle it surprisingly well... Hope you get better soon, though! We're all here for you!
if you see it that way then I'll be patient, hope you feel better when you return Max
Oh man
, well that´s ok if you need to take a break from us that´s fine i enjoy your work a lot but more than that i love how much effort you put in this for us so thanks and i hope you feel better about all this soon 