I'm tired. · 1:17pm Jun 6th, 2015
I really don't want to do this, and I know a lot of people will say that I shouldn't, but I have to.
There's an odd little bug within the Fimfiction group systems that makes it impossible for one to leave a certain group if they are banned/blocked before they leave. What happens is that while they are unable to either post threads or comments in them, they still receive feed from said group.
Now as some of you may know, I've butted heads with one Chatoyance, an avid writer of TCB. At first, I was rather amicable, mostly sticking to critiquing her stories and works. In spite of this, she often replied to me and other critics with a belittling attitude that inspired frustration to even the stoic among us. I'm sorry to say that included myself.
There was only one time that I was ever offensive to her, and that was when I said that "I want you [Chatoyance] to be a man." I'd point you to the post in question, but she deleted it, another thing about her that infuriates her critics.
Now when I had made that statement, I hadn't known that she was woman. Not only that, but a MtF transsexual. Knowing from a cousin who is an MtF as well, that did come off as insensitive and offensive, so once it was pointed out to me as to who Chatoyance was, I immediately apologized.
If there is one thing I can say about myself, it is that I do my best to not offend people, directly or otherwise. I can disagree with them, I can dislike them, but I at least try to respect them for who they are.
But this would not be the last time since me and Chatoyance crossed paths. Because of the prior enmity to the original TCB and ACB groups, there were multiple times where the discussion got heated, although they hardly dissolved into direct attacks. Most of it, funnily enough, came from the TCB side, and the few that came from the ACB were severely punished by our mods and admins. Eventually, things simmered down, and a 'truce' was agreed upon between the two groups. Peace in our times?
It wasn't to be. A demotion of Chatoyance's mod status within the TCB group set her off, blaming everyone in the group that they were 'tricked, corrupted, and lied to' by the ACB group. This opened up some wounds, but she left the group to form her own TCB group where she was in control.
At the time, we didn't care much. I personally was glad to not have to deal with her since I had grown weary of trying to talk to her, as had many of my fellow ACB members. Funnily enough, so had a lot of the original TCB members.
But it didn't end of course. In her group she began to slander both groups in a way that was impossible for us to ignore. I joined the group to try to defend myself, only to get banned. The last time I spoke to her was here where after so many headache-inducing encounters, I had had enough of her. I vowed to myself to never speak, listen, or see her, online or otherwise.
Then silence. For almost two years, I had not heard a peep about Chatoyance.
But then, I got a feed notification a few days back. One from Chat's Group.
Remember about the bug that I mentioned at the beginning of this post? Well, I kept receiving notifications from her group in spite of being banned from it. Since there was and currently isn't a way to filter out those notifications, the only way for me to ignore them was to physically do so. And that I did, since TCB as a whole died down to a few quiet murmurs, with the ACB group the most 'active' among the groups.
In the feed, the notification read 'GENOCIDE'. Being from Chat's group, it flummoxed me. Was it someone in their group trying to have a discussion like we often did in the ACB group? Curiosity spurred me to look, but lo and behold, it was Chat.
I should've left immediately. I knew I should have. But morbid curiosity, as it had in the past, made me read the OP arguments about how TCB was not genocide.
Most people who know me (specifically the ACB members) know my stance on that, but her arguments just... infuriated me so. Being banned, I left one down vote on the OP and left.
But the frustration led me to do something that I shouldn't have: I linked it to my brother, to ask of his take on it. He was mostly in agreement with me, and since he had no bad blood with Chatoyance, decided to join in the discussion, amicable and neutral in tone.
That frustration in me made me ask something of him: I asked him if he could ask Chatoyance herself to unban me so that I could leave the group so I could just be on my way, free from receiving those damn notifications from her damn group. He did, and we waited her response.
Then my brother called me, asking if I had bullied Chat. When I asked why, he pointed to the response: it wasn't pretty.
Everyone in the ACB knows that I dislike Chat. Everyone knows that I detest her stories. But everyone knows that that is nothing but slander. It wasn't as bad nor as offensive as that one post (which was conveniently deleted by the Chatty One), but I absolutely hate slander. Not only that, but she demanded for me to give up personal information to make an apology that I have no reason to make, just to 'allow' me to freely leave the group.
This spurred me to defend myself through my brother, demanding proof of my so called 'aggressive bullying' and 'hate campaigns' against her. My brother posted my counterclaims with evidence and asked to see her proof to substantiate her accusations. In the meanwhile, we both had other matters to attend to and, went to sleep afterwards.
This morning, my brother let me known that he had been banned along with a few others. The reason? Toxicity.
Show me one instance. Just one instance, where there was clearly intentional toxicity aimed towards Chat. Show me! Because neither my brother nor I can find one!
But you know what's funny? Not once, in her long-winded wall of text of a response, did she back up her claims against me. Just a whole lot of hot air and additional accusations directed at me and the ACB group!
Oh, and apparently my brother was blocked by her without him knowing, because he only spoke to her once, and he's certain that he was as neutral as he has been here, so yeah! Chatoyance thinks that my brother, someone who barely visits the damn site is a bot or a troll!
In case you wondering Chat, no, that is not me. I have no intention to publicize my identity online nor never will. I only grant that privilege to a small group of family and close friends of which, I am infinitely glad to say, you are not part of.
To add insult to injury, she immediately began playing the victim in a new thread to get the reassurances and praises from that hugbox that is her group.
Well played, Chat. Well fucking played.
You say that I'm the bully? You say that I'm the one who's never tried to be amicable? You say that you're the helpless victim?
You are despicable. Shameful. Cowardly.
You are a damn craven, Chatoyance. The biggest one I've ever had the displeasure to meet, in fact.
You want to write? That's fine. You want to make your works public? That's also fine. You want me to keep my thoughts to myself and like whatever you make? No, you cannot enforce that on me now that they are in a public forum.
The right of free speech you say? Way to misinterpret it.
It is not a shield from consequences, criticisms, or opposing opinions.
You have been proven wrong so many times, that I can't even bring myself to make the arguments again.
You want an apology? I've already apologized and have nothing else to apologize for. But, regardless of that, I will repeat the one deserving apology and sympathy that I've displayed for you:
I am sorry for having referred to you as a man. I had no knowledge about your gender when I had made that statement, thus I had no intention of being offensive. Ever since then I've constantly reminded others that you are, indeed a woman.
I even defended you, and yet you spat that in my face, saying, I quote: 'P.S. I adore how you worship my mound of Venus, you little scamp! Lick me long-time, like before!'*
* I would show you the actual post where Chatoyance said this, but she has deleted it and no one screencapped it.
And I'll say this again: I feel sorry for the threats that you've endured, the DDoS attacks made on your home, and any other attacks leveled at your person. I truly do not wish that upon anyone but don't expect for one damn moment that I had any part in any of that, nor the ACB group. I'd explain again, but I'm just tired.
I'm tired. I want this to be over. I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see your posts, I don't want to have anything to do with you. I want out.
Can you at the very least grant me the chance to do so? For all of your touting about being 'a unicorn stuck in a human,' I'll always think that there's some good in people. I see some good in you, underneath all of your hateful qualities. I hope that that bit of you will at least listen to me and allow me to bury the hatchet, because as is, there will always be the risk that this will blow up again.
I don't want that. I know that you don't either, so please, let me out. Let me leave your group and I swear that I'll never come to you.
Please, let us just make our own paths.
As for all of my followers who had hoped some update on my stories, I'm sorry that you've had to deal with this. I'm unfortunately bogged down with real life, and while progress is being made, it's terribly slow. I'll try to get at least TPoG updated in the coming weeks, but I cannot make any guarantees.
Goddamn it, GIULIO.
3126945
I had to. I'm sorry.
Burn the witch! But yeah, I've never heard a single good thing about her.
I was there to witness it all!
I feel for ya man.
What she wrote in that topic was just painful to read. And her attitude...dispicable.
I agree absolutely, I also saw the whole thing and found her behavior to be despicable. Honestly that's what made me realize what was off about the whole thing. I didn't dare say anything though, last thing I wanted was for her fanbase to tear me to shreds. I am a bit of a coward that way, I left the group before they could ban me. Sorry that you had to go through with that, you certainly did not deserve her vitriol.
3245431
My friend, you weren't cowardly. If anything, you were being smart.
What's really saddening is the fact I (my brother) wasn't the only victim in that debacle. How quickly her followers were to condemn us as 'trolls' and 'haters', only seeing her side of the story and accepting it as the end-all-be-all truth is perhaps even more disheartening to me; my faith in humanity dips whenever things like this happen.
Let me thank you for your appreciation to the situation as well as your follow. Every little bit helps.
3246330 Your welcome. I don't know why her fanbase is like that though, their almost cult-like in their behavior. The sad thing is I have read her stories and noticed the implications, such as eugenics for example. I don't understand the almost creepy desire they seem to have about her stories being real.
I will admit that at one point i wanted it to be true, until I noticed what I would have to give up to do so. I realized that I would have to give up everything I valued and it horrified me.
sorry, I rambled a bit there.
3246813
No worries man. You'd fit right in the ACB and HaB groups. You keep on doing what you think is right; you'll find no thought police here.
3247139 Thanks.
I'm going to stay neutral and away from the whole TCB thing for now, too much stress. but later I may take you up on that offer.