Wow... Just wow... · 6:38pm Jul 19th, 2012
So I submitted Weeping Willow to EQD. Now to be honest I was expecting it to get rejected given the horror stories I've heard, but this. Just damn.
I post for you here, the email in full:
Response:
Dear author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I am unable to recommend it for posting on Equestria Daily at this time. Please see this list of issues with the fic:
Since this is a digital medium, there's no reason not to put line breaks between paragraphs. Please do so, since it aids readability.
>Despite all that he actually felt rather nice, not even his eerie surroundings seemed to be able to sour his mood.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comma_splice
>for once he managed
This should be conjugated as past perfect rather than simple past, since it's referring to an event prior to that sentence.
>to be your everyday rock
Don't use 'you' in narration; it can be damaging to immersion and is easily replaced by other phrasings.
> over growth
This is a single word.
>while he may not know
Slip into present tense
>Evening briefly wondered if there was a pizza place.
References like this can be rather immersion breaking (Especially in a serious scene like this) and aren't generally all that amusing.
>This didn’t feel right.
Don't use 'this' in narration to refer to things within the story.
>This was suppose to
Typo
>pony controlled
Since this is used as a single adjective, it should be hyphenated.
>‘Tis because thou shares a name with thine
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thou#Conjugation
>“Twill work,”
Missing apostrophe for contraction.
Overall, the fic seemed like it lacked real conflict and there didn't seem to be any real reason for a lot of the things that happen. They just do. Because of that, there was little credible conflict and what there was got resolved incredibly quickly. Unless this fic becomes significantly more interesting, it's unlikely to be accepted. You may benefit from getting a review on Ponychan's /fic/ board. This is your first strike of three; edit wisely.
-Prereader E
Now don't get me wrong there are some very good tips in there. Typo's and pointing out grammar/structure are good. However:
>Evening briefly wondered if there was a pizza place.
References like this can be rather immersion breaking (Especially in a serious scene like this) and aren't generally all that amusing.
Okay, forgive me, but that seems a bit opinion based. Now I have gotten this feedback from a couple of people. So it's not for everyone I admit, but I do believe Evening Storm would think of such a thing. I could probably cut that out, and am considering it. It does mess with the flow a bit. I just kind of liked it in there.
Overall, the fic seemed like it lacked real conflict and there didn't seem to be any real reason for a lot of the things that happen. They just do. Because of that, there was little credible conflict and what there was got resolved incredibly quickly. Unless this fic becomes significantly more interesting, it's unlikely to be accepted. You may benefit from getting a review on Ponychan's /fic/ board. This is your first strike of three; edit wisely.
That... That doesn't sit well with me. "Unless this fic becomes significantly more interesting?" Um... Isn't that based all on opinion? Obviously I have people who like this fic, I don't think it needs to be 'More interesting' it was meant to be a small look on the lives of the two ponies. A glimpse of how the Everfree has more then just danger hidden within it.
All in all I'm not really mad just kinda disappointed that the 'strictness' of EQD is indeed what I've heard.
Very well, I tried. Maybe if I come up with another story and edit the hell out of it, I might try again, but I'm certainly not resubmitting this if the response is basically: "I didn't like it make it more interesting to me."
Lol EqD
It hasnt been a good place for fiction for almost a year now. Great for news and some comics/art (For those who dont have a deviant and a tumblr). Fiction, not so much. They play favorites with EVERYTHING. They say no OC yet OC consists 1/4 of their drawfriends at times. They are full of nine kinds of shit.
Welcome to the world of Editorial nightmares.
However, I think you are allowing the shock of the review to hit you pretty hard. I've been there, and I know how it feels, but trust me, they do it for your own good. You don't want people to read your fic and laugh at you, pointing out the mistakes in public and making you feel bad. They are saving you that trouble. I say, give it a rest, go do something else, and then go back to it with the advice they gave you.
It's just the first strike. You have to keep trying, trust me, it's worth it. If I could get into EqD, and I am below average, anyone can.
238664
Heh, you didn't read my fic 'Fragments of Regret' THAT was a fic that got me laughed at in public. I expect some people to hate my work, and as I said the email gave me some great advice on a few things. Many I'm going to go in and iron out.
The PROBLEM is the guy basically said "It's not interesting" I mean what do I DO with that? The story is what I set out to do. They are basically asking me to pad it with action scenes or something and that'd ruin the tale I set out to tell.
So yeah... That's basically it. This story failed sadly. But as long as a few people read and enjoyed it. Well that's all I really ever ask for.
@Krass McWriter:
Actually, it's a great place for fanfiction, and it always will be. Only the best of the best get posted there, and whenever I decide to read a fanfic I know I won't be disappointed. I have never read a fanfic on EqD that I disliked. Plus, like James_Corck said, you don't want to be laughed at if your fanfic doesn't meet the standards of the readers.
Also, they don't say you're not allowed to use OC's, they just advise against it because it makes it a lot tougher to pass the prereaders. Stories with OC's have to be twice as interesting.
Anyway, Videomaster, I know how you feel. Well, kind of anyway. I'm a musician, and a ton of my songs have been declined. I've only been on there twice.
You need to take this prereaders advice and work on those things for next time. Just because you got declined this time doesn't mean there is no chance for you to make it onto EqD. Don't get discouraged and keep trying.
238686
I should sit down and read sooo many fics, it's hard to keep up.
I tell you however, if they thought your fic wasn't worth it, they'd mooned it and told you to give up. They didn't do that. You can make a fanfic really interesting with dialogue and character development, adding conflict doesn't mean adding action scenes.
I admire you and the work you do. From a fan, I just want to share my motto with you: Be like Tank, never give up.
238705
Basically EQD is 'figure out what they like and appeal to it' Kinda deal. This didn't, if I end up writing a story that I think will, I'll try submitting that. Like I've said, they gave me some great advice, but that stuff about "You don't want them to laugh at you" Okay look. No matter HOW GOOD you make something, you are going to get people saying you suck. I'm not afraid of people blasting my fic, I've been through that.
The only issue I have with anything here is them saying "It's not interesting" That's not criticism, that's not helpful, that's just one opinion, and it's obviously not shared by a good twenty or so people who thumbed up my fic. True he/she said it's only unlikely it won't get accepted, but I have a feeling if I fixed the few problems I can, they'd just reject it again because they don't' like the story.
I'll be trying again in the future, just not with this story.
I've been there. And it sucks.
Well my fic is full of grammar errors that I need to fix. So EQD has to wait for me. They are such bastards though
If I could add a bit of nuance to what the pre-reader said, I don’t believe that they were simply saying that the story as a whole was uninteresting and needs to be better. I’ve dealt with them for a year now (though regulations then were a bit more relaxed) and responses are typically terse and only give what is wrong in basic form. They have to really, otherwise they are buried in the sheer amount of stories that they have to wade through. By saying “unless this fic becomes significantly more interesting” I believe they were simply generalizing from their last statements about the story being over quickly with little fleshing out.
I too had noticed some of this when I was going through the story. He is right in saying that there just isn’t enough of it to catch a reader and hold them for very long. Many things often bunched together quickly and jarred the story out of immersion. This was important for the comment about the pizza place being out of place because with the mood trying to be set at that moment instead of adding in a different blend it simply bumps into everything else and loses stability. Had the story been in first person it might have been able to slide past but unfortunately things such as that would fall under a different set of POV rules than the one that you were using.
The conflict itself that actually occurs within the story as well is over very abruptly and does the same thing as before when losing immersion into the story. Overall these things combined just turns the whole thing awkward and will turn people off regardless of the idea behind it. The idea is good, I don’t think that anyone has denied that yet, but it must set itself up better to execute that idea to its fullest extent and to its furthest implications and reaches.
I do not think that it was a flat “make it more interesting.” As Corck said, if that was the case they would have told you to give up. And I know the feeling as well. Last august I had a story rejected four times with each response being more frustrating than the last in terms of what they wanted me to do. Nobody likes criticism. The most important thing I can say is to not give up in any pursuit. I honestly think this story could make it but it has to be sent through the grinder multiple times. If not I would at least advise to fix as many mistakes as possible to see where they are made to not repeat them.
I apologize for my naturally long posts.
I heard the pre-readers were strict, but that's a LONG list of things they want fixed. I'm thinking of submitting my story up there when I reach the minimum word limit, so hopefully I get better results. Keep trying, though, because you're a pretty dang good writer.
238723
"but that stuff about "You don't want them to laugh at you" Okay look. No matter HOW GOOD you make something, you are going to get people saying you suck. I'm not afraid of people blasting my fic, I've been through that."
There's a huge difference between getting laughed at and getting criticized.
"The only issue I have with anything here is them saying "It's not interesting" That's not criticism, that's not helpful, that's just one opinion"
He told you exactly why it wasn't interesting. Your were told that it needs more conflict, and that is what's going to keep the story interesting.
239809
No trust me BlackElectric, I understand. My Fragments of Regret fic got me laughed at by a number of people I saw what people said on message boards and stuff they didn't think I knew about. Also not one of the hundred something people to read this have laughed at me, so I'm not TOO worried about that.
238902
While he may have said why he believes it to be 'uninteresting' I don't know what I could do to 'Add conflict'
I hate that there is no way for me to say this without sounding like some know it all douchebag, but I don't see where I can expand on this idea. To me, if I tried that it'd ruin the story. The best I could do is actually write out the 'battle' that happens, but I don't want to do that. I honestly don't feel it needs to be fleshed out.
Please don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to say: "Well they just don't see how great my story is!" It's not, it really isn't. I'm more thinking "This story is just not one that belongs on EQD"
I'm not going to go out of my way to alter the story to try and get it on some blog site. This is MY story first. I take this as a learning experience. I have a better idea of what some people might want in a story, and will keep that in mind when I write future works. As for 'The Weeping Willow' It's fine where it is, and that's pretty much the end to it.
239950
I can understand the sentiment. When if comes to the plot of a story it's ultimately hard to objectively look at it in ways other than things such as logical holes and out of character and whatnot. Everything past that is opinion to some extent and it would be a betrayal of one's own work to alter it for others likings if it was not the author's intent in the first place. What they or anyone else would believe can make the story better by what happens is only suggestion and not what should happen as they are not the creator. And I definitely understand that.
However, if I were to suggest one thing objectively it would be at least to go through it once more and find grammatical faults and either fix them or note them to help forge future stories with better precision in that regard.
240156
I'm going to go through and fix all the technical things he pointed out. Just no real rush to.