Chapter XXII Version 1.5 · 6:20am Apr 11th, 2015
So apparently, there was a lot of confusion with the ending of the last chapter. Too much for my liking as I thought it was pretty straightforward. I didn't think too much of it until the comment kept coming regarding that and a few other things I apparently didn't do a very good job at.
I tried to write chapter XXIII, but this kept nagging me. So I stopped and decided to rewrite the ending to this chapter so I could finally focus. Then Babscon happened, yada yada yada, stuff.
Anyway, I finally got to it tonight, so hopefully this rewrite will clear up any confusion and disperse any more annoying comments about idiot balls.
Blah blah blah, spoilers for anyone not this far yet.
“It’s going to breathe ice again!” Twilight yelled.
Sunset looked up to it gazing down at her. She looked over at the orb, a few yards out of her reach. She stood up and ran two feet before her hoof slipped backwards and she fell again.
Rainbow swooped down again and scooped her up, flying her across the room.
“Wait, what are you doing?” Sunset yelled.
“Saving you! I’m not letting you get turned into a popsicle!”
“What about Spike?”
“What?” Rainbow stopped and whirled around, gasping at what she saw; Spike was running towards the orb, sword in hand and valor in his eyes.
“Spike!” Twilight called, but Spike didn’t heed her. He raised his sword over the orb as the Frostlich drew its head back.
Sunset’s body tensed as the blade came down over the crack, just as the Frostlich leaned forward and breathed. The blade smashed into the orb breaking it in two, and a teal shield wrapped around Spike, while a violet one covered the Frostlich’s head.
The inside of the purple shield quickly became obscured in ice until it was impossible to see. When the frost vanished from the Frostlich’s chest, Twilight dropped her shield and gasped.
The dragon’s entire head was frozen solid. Even the fires in its eyes were encased in ice. It began to thrash around wildly, swinging its arms and tail, beating its wings.
Rainbow ducked away from its wild attacks and carried Sunset down to the floor. Behind her, the Frostlich smashed into one of the four pillars, knocking it apart. In the process, its own head snapped off and landed in front of the entrance.
The rest of its body shuddered and toppled over while chunks of the pillar landed on top of it. When its tail stopped thrashing, Twilight teleported over to Spike’s side and squeezed him tight.
“Spike, you did it! Because of you, we won!”
The alicorn statue exploded into a thousand onyx shards, leaving only the Obsidian Hoofguards unscratched. Vesper dove for them, her grin stretching from ear to ear.
“Not yet we haven’t!” Sunset yelled, discharging a salvo of magic. Twilight followed her lead, and together, they filled the air with blue and purple bolts of magic, leaving Applejack and Rainbow to charge for the Hoofguards.
Vesper’s horn glowed brighter than a star, and the air in front of her distorted, then split open to form a portal. All of Twilight’s and Sunset’s attack gravitated towards it, while Vesper rained fire down on Applejack and Rainbow.
Another portal opened up over the remaining ponies heads, barraging them with Sunset’s and Twilight’s own magic. Pinkie pushed Sunset out of the way of an incoming blast, narrowly avoiding getting hit herself.
Rainbow had managed to grab one of the Hoofguards at the cost of half her tail. The victory was short lived, however, as Vesper descended and delivered a blast to Rainbow’s chest. She sailed across the room, mouth open in a silent scream. Fluttershy caught her and wailed at the amount of blood soaking Rainbow’s chest.
Vesper caught the fallen Hoofguard and used it to backhoof Applejack as she got close. She spiraled off the dais, and slid past a charging Sunset.
Sunset could barely give Applejack any thought; her mind was screaming, No! at the sight of Vesper stepping into the Hoofguards. She wildly fired every spell she could muster.
None of them reached Vesper.
A column of red light enveloped her entire body. Sunset froze, watching the light bathe the entire Crystalarium in its glow. She had seen the pillar before. No. Last time she had been in the pillar.
Her soul pulsed, like it was trying to break free from her body. She doubled over and clutched her heart, desperately sucking down air. Laughter rang in her ears, bubbling up from her aching soul.
“Your entire journey was pointless!”
Sunset lifted her head up with strenuous effort. As the pillar of light began to fade, a long, slender leg stepped out of it, wearing the Obsidian Hoofguards.
“I am now the greatest being on this planet!”
Sunset’s soul pulsed again, and she screamed in agony while the laughter grew louder. Her vision flickered, obscured by an impenetrable darkness. Hatred, anger, fear and despair all rose up from the abyss and enveloped her soul.
Large, immaculate, golden wings emerged from the light.
“I am your only princess now! No! I am your queen!”
Someone might have called her name, but Sunset couldn’t hear them anymore. She could only hear the sound of her own laughter. She felt her lips pull into a maniacal smile as she looked upon her alicorn self, standing proud upon the dais. A tall, spiraling horn pointed to a lethal tip. Long crimson-and-gold locks flowing in an unseen wind. Her eyes were draconic slits, filled with rapturous glee. She was as tall as Celestia and fully adorned in the Dark Regalia.
Sunset fell away, swallowed by the darkness of her own soul, but she still felt her mouth and voice in synch with the alicorn before her.
“I am Vesper Radiance!”
If I sound a little annoyed, it's 'cause I am.
What was unclear?
I'm actually having a similar problem with my latest chapter as well. Believe me, I know how you feel, but I've got to agree with MehWasAlreadyTaken : What was unclear? They fought the Frost Lich, defeated it, then Vesper swooped in and got the hoofguards. Pretty straight forward.
2970896
2971435 A lot of people thought Sunset was fading away or dying.
2971643
ah