Sleepless Night · 11:46am Mar 1st, 2015
Note here,
For the first time in a long time I've had the luxury of being able to stay awake all night. Don't get me wrong, I love sleep. Heck, I could sleep for 13 hours straight if I wanted. But I am such a night owl. I feel the most productive when the night sets in. But on slow and serene nights like these I begin to think.
I think about all kinds of things. Past. Present. Future. I'm not too concerned about most of them though. I'm content with my life right now but am fully capable of moving forward if I wanted. So with such calmness, I of course turn to MLP. I have to say I never expected myself to be so immersed into the fandom as I am now. I hate reading. It hurts my head you see. Yet here I am, writing. I am creating something that brings me pain. In more ways than one mind you.
I can't tell you just how badly that first critique hit me when someone commented on my first fic. And the same with the second one and the third one. The third one was finally my fic Shadow's Enigma, my pride and joy.
It is definitely not my best work, especially since I was still getting the hang of writing back then. But it was the first fic I ever wrote and finished. Before now, I had started many fan fics and had never finished any. They ranged in all sorts of anime and videogames, yet none really came even close to half way done. Yet the very fact I finished Shadow's Enigma speaks volumes about the determination I had.
You see, I do not pride myself in my writing. I am bad at it. Mediocre at best. I do try and strive to improve with every update, yet I know there are many others who are much better. What I do pride myself in is story crafting. And that, is why I was so focused on finishing Shadow's Enigma. I had this amazing story and background for Sombra and I desperately wanted to share it with others. I stumbled along the way. Many many times I stumbled. Yet I finished.
As many of my followers know by now, I have many fics planned. They all revolve around Sombra of course, mostly because he gives me such great freedom in writing. He can be just about anything I want him to be and more. I can give him this tragic back story, paint him as a war hero, give him a different tribal race to other ponies, even say he was a killed and brought back. He is so flexible, and it is that flexibility that helps turn the gears in my head to craft stories.
I can't help myself. I come up with more and more versions of Sombra. More incarnations with different personalities and goals. It's just so natural for me to do so. I fear that perhaps I will never be able to write about each and every one of them. However, I still want to share my stories. Even if I continue writing until the last episode of MLP, I will probably have tons more to write about. I just hope my fingers can keep up with my mind.
To be perfectly honest, I really don't think so. In the last month had have not only come up with yet another incarnations, but also solidified an incarnation that someone had proposed to me a while ago. I was barely able to update a small number of times in the same time span. Woe is me I suppose.
Well, I guess I better get back to writing. I have a lot of work to do. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Merry day to you.
This I must object to. You shouldn't put yourself down like this. You are definitely a good writer, far better than a great many people on here, myself included. While I can see your learning curve in past fics, at this point, I would argue that you are extremely skilled. So even if it does cause you bother, do not think you are at the bottom of the barrel. All writers struggle at first, even those who go on to become great.
And you certainly shouldn't chastise yourself for your many incarnations of Sombra. That shows an active and highly able imagination; something many people today sorely lack.
That first downvote, that first negative comment hits everyone hard. It did me, there were times I considered cancelling my fic because people were saying it was flat and boring. But I kept going, rewrote a few chapters and took the advice offered, ignoring the odd hate comment.
No matter what, my friend, just keep doing as you wish. Don't let others affect what you do. You don't write your stories for them, you write them for yourself. Their interpretation is a mere by-product. So don't worry about updates, finishing every story before starting a new one. It is all for you, us readers merely get to enjoy what you throw out.
I hope this helps.
I can say with the utmost certainty that I will be eagerly waiting for the next story you choose to publish and if you ever need help, you know where to find me!
I've been reading "Sweetie's Shadow", and my incarnation of sombra is........
KING SOMBRA, THE BADASS FATHER FIGURE!!!! This is my favorite incarnation of him! Also, don't let them down votes get to ya, they're nothing but a bunch of trolls!