• Member Since 29th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Sep 1st, 2019

Tired Old Man


Celestia's exhausted personal paperweight.

More Blog Posts83

  • 293 weeks
    Hi there, dear readers.

    So. It’s been almost two months since I last updated something on my end, right? “Where’s the Letter updates?” “Are you going to write anything else soon?” “Are you okay?”

    “Are you okay?” There’s a question I can answer.

    Read More

    11 comments · 1,253 views
  • 357 weeks
    Returning From An Unannounced Hiatus!

    Hello, dear readers! It's been a few weeks since the last update on Letters. I haven't said anything about the sudden absence, and for that I offer a small apology for going dark.

    Long story short, family matters + writing burnout = massive shift in priorities for a while, but now I'm back to a relatively normalized state and ready to get to work again

    Read More

    2 comments · 578 views
  • 367 weeks
    tl;dw: Fluttershy Leans In

    Fluttershy's friends recommend three experts for her, instead of Fluttershy asserting herself and picking her own expert from the beginning.

    Read More

    1 comments · 487 views
  • 368 weeks
    tl;dw: Rock Solid Friendship

    Maud made a friend. No thanks to Pinkie.

    She lives in Ponyville-adjacent. Sorta thanks to Pinkie.

    Thanks, Pinkie... but no thanks.

    1 comments · 425 views
  • 369 weeks
    tl;dw: Flurry of Emotions

    Finding a last-minute babysitter sure is hard, especially when you practically have a local shaggy-bearded unicorn babysitter back at home.

    ...Wait. Waiiiiit a minute...

    3 comments · 388 views
Feb
15th
2015

The End is Near, but Trouble Still Brews · 8:51pm Feb 15th, 2015

So, Season 1's about to come to a close for Letters, but it seems that there's this controversy regarding Tia's actions involving Rarity and the Diamond Dogs. Some believe she is in the right, but an overwhelming amount see her in the wrong for blaming Rarity for getting herself kidnapped.

Just so I can hopefully lay this thing to rest before season 2 starts, I'll explain to the best of my ability what Tia is mad at Rarity for, starting from how the incident is seen from both sides.

From the pony side, Spike and Rarity dug up gems in some dry, barren lands with craggy rocks and sparse trees. Dogs notice Rarity's gem-finder, and take her down into the caves. Spike runs off to the other girls saying it was a foalnapping in the woods (which is the most hilarious mislabeling of four trees on badland terrain).

So they go down and enter the caves looking for their friend, fend off a few dogs, then discover Rarity unharmed. She's even taking some large carts filled with gems in tow back to her boutique. The Dogs learn not to mess with whiny ponies, Twilight learns a friendship lesson, Rarity gets her gems for Sapphire. End of episode as we see it.

Now let's flip the perspective to the dogs. Consider for a moment where Spike and Rarity dug for the gems, which happens to lead into the giant section of Diamond Dog caves once they go down a hole. It's reasonable to assume, then, that the surface above also belongs to the Diamond Dogs as sovereign territory.

Meaning Spike and Rarity were trespassing and digging up gems on their grounds. If you found your neighbor tearing up your lawn looking for buried gold, you'd probably be pissed.

But the dogs saw an opportunity instead to expedite their gem mining, and so they took Rarity down into the caves to do just that. Rarity, oblivious to the whole kidnapping thing and being her generous self, happily pointed out a few gem stores for them without understanding that they intended to keep her there.

When that point was made abundantly clear, Rarity resisted and made the Dogs' lives hell, whining her way to freedom. They even made an overwhelmingly generous peace offering just to get her to keep quiet, which also happens to be most of their gems. Terrible negotiators, yes, but much like a parent hearing a baby cry for hours on end, ignoring it makes the problem worse and you'll eventually sink to remarkable lows to get them to stay quiet. A fact that Rarity took full advantage of at the end of the episode.

Of course, the Dogs wouldn't dare admit to this botched kidnapping scheme, so they claimed she stole the gems from them, setting off the firestorm back near Canterlot as you are all aware.

So how much does Tia know about this? I can narrow that down to a few facts:

1. She knows about the foalnapping, but there's no evidence to substantiate that claim other than an unreliable eyewitness who was trespassing with her. Spike admitted to digging up the gems, making him an accomplice in the theft of gems on sovereign grounds, hence unreliability.

2. She knows Rarity took a substantial amount of gems from the Diamond Dogs. Regardless of the foalnapping occurring or not, Rarity remains in possession of a large amount of gems gifted--or stolen from the other perspective--to her after her supposed "escape."

3. The Diamond Dogs Tia's negotiating with aren't happy in the least about losing a large chunk of their gem hoard to a whiny pony, and the demands for compensation following the incident are even unreasonably higher than the filets with gravy.

So is Tia mad about the supposed foalnapping? No. Of course not. How anyone could see her getting mad and blaming one of her subjects for getting kidnapped still boggles me, because that makes no goddamn sense at all. So I repeat it here, THAT IS NOT WHAT SHE IS MAD ABOUT. I will clarify this a hundred times if I must. Tia is NOT angry about Rarity being kidnapped.

What Tia IS mad about is Rarity taking the amount of gems that she did, which is an obscenely large amount. THAT IS ALL. It was gross overcompensation that Rarity took full advantage of, and Tia's pissed that she didn't execute more self-restraint over the matter.

Because of Rarity taking so many gems, as opposed to no gems at all or just the gems she had found for herself, the livelihood of the Diamond Dogs is now endangered due to them losing a substantial amount of their income. That is why the dogs are pissed and insisting Rarity is a thief on top of their other (slightly) ludicrous claims. Sure, their claim is based off of a lie, but do any of you truly believe they would admit to that even when the truth comes out?

"But why is Tia blaming Rarity for this? She didn't know about the negotiations, and certainly wasn't aware that her actions would stir the shit over there."

Even a pebble dropped in a pond can make large ripples, and just because she didn't know doesn't mean she isn't at fault. It works the same way someone speeding on a road doesn't know there's a limit, and a cop gives them a ticket. Ignorance of the law is not immunity.

Again I state that Tia is not mad at Rarity for getting foalnapped. It is for her taking the amount of gems she did, and nothing more. Her ignorance of the fact that the Dogs rely on those gems cost Tia negotiations for the onyx on a level playing field, and now Tia's fighting an uphill battle with the dogs to try and get them back to a reasonable level.

I do consent that Tia is not aware that Rarity needed the gems for Sapphire Shores, but that's an irrelevant detail. What matters is Rarity trespassed to obtain those gems, and she got them through manipulative means from the Dogs, foalnapped or not. Had any other situation occurred where Rarity did anything but ride them to the bank, this entire scenario wouldn't have happened. But it didn't, and this is the result.

This is the truth of the matter. If I failed to relay this in the original letter and the subsequent follow-ups, someone let me know so I can correct it accordingly.

Otherwise, the last letter will be posted in a few hours. I'm also in the works of an extra letter that's already been mentioned in the story. I won't spoil it here, but I will give a "small" hint as to its contents. :raritywink:

Mister Inadequate Dragon.

Comments ( 14 )

Comedy is serious business, huh?

I can't believe some readers took that so seriously. . . This is the same story where Pinkie Pie is stalking Celestia for multiple episodes and Luna has a moon cookie recipe of moon rocks, hatred and tears. HIDDEN CUTIE MARKS!

I thought it was pretty clear what was going on. Celestia sounded exasperated because they heard the message first from the Diamond Dogs and had no way to refute it as well as having to escape from the negotiators while the treaty they almost had signed was torn down. It seemed straightforward that Celestia was more concerned with the timing and the fact the crown didn't get any of the gem spoils rather than the fact Rarity was possibly foalnapped (the most incompetent foalnapping ever).

2799309

Sometimes it's easy to make a funny. Other times it makes controversy. It's a crapshoot with this kind of story.

But it's one I'm going to keep rolling the dice on.

End is near? Last letter?

:pinkiesad2:Just to clarify, you are going to do season 2, right?:fluttershysad:

2800727

I believe in one of my previous blog posts, I received a mild warning that I'd get Letters from Irritated Fans if I even thought of stopping without getting to Lesson Zero.

Not that I needed such a warning, but yes, I've started working on the second season. Fret not; the letters will come, hell or highwater. :twilightsmile:

This is a great point. I kind of get the feeling that the Diamond Dogs are kind of similar to the buffalo, they've lived on that mountain range for years before ponies started digging in their claim.

Ah yes, "sovereign territory" a term meaning "land ruled by someone who can oppose my military might."

2830426 Mind you, Celestia's military might doesn't amount to much. The Royal Guard are frickin' useless. No wonder she relies on Twilight and friends to get things done properly.

2830591 This is because the Royal Guard are just cops. They suck, and just stand around and apparently guard locations inside of cities during peace time. That is not a standing army, that's a law enforcement force AKA cops.

Two other government armed forces are mentioned in the show, the EUP and the Pony Protective Platoons. We can assume that these are the actual military, and have training that isn't crap, armor that actually protects you (because we see real armor in the show in Castle-mane-ia), weapons that matter (Seriously, spears? Stop a unicorn mage or a pegasus which is throwing lighting with what looks to be a short hafted leaf bladed spear. A spear design which was given to cannon fodder troopers or used by presents for hunting because it was cheep and sucky. We see god damned magic ice arrows, we can assume their soldiers have those.), and are probably something like the US marines. Also... The Wonderbolts have a resurvey, are stunt fliers for performance, and have the exact same coloration as the IRL Blue Angles who are basically propaganda performers for the US Air Force, so we can assume there is a similar arrangement going on there where the Wonderbolts preform to get ponies wanting to serve in the bolts, but most cant qualify so the next best thing would be to join the army and be a ... Fighter Flier? (you get the idea.)

We know that Equestria must have a proper militarily because while Ponies are nice, other races are not. Without military might nothing is stopping the Diamond Dogs from shut enslaving everypony, or stopping dragons from just burning everything to the ground for lolz, or preventing the Changelings from using open warfare instead of a clandestine operation designed to cut the head off of the Equestrian Government so they can take over the region. So they must have SOME form of military... Which we can presume is usually very active and occupied preventing just these sorts of problems, thus Twilight and adventurers like Daring Doo must solve the odd problem or two that pop up within Equestria's borders.

So what I am saying is... "Celestia, jsut have a Brigade go wipe out those Dog mines already. They are hateful enslaving threats to the safety of Everypony around them and are a like 10 minute walk from Ponyville..."

I do not agree with your interpretation of events. Rarity knew it was a kidnapping from the start, she resisted from the start. The area is right outside Ponyville, which is in the middle of Equestria, yes the dogs may claim they were there first but this makes the area 'in dispute' at best. If the Dogs had told Rarity that it was their territory and to bugger off and Rarity didn't, then that would be a different story. But no, they kidnapped her. Also, I understand Celestia's anger, I get it, I do. What annoys me is that even in the last set of three letters, it never got cleared up. She never apologised to Rarity or anything. Yes the outcome it okay, but Celestia's attitude leaves something to be desired. Also, if your not mentioning it again, how will we know if Rarity made up for her 'mistake'?

2830880

"Firstly, the EUP do pretty much the same job as the Royal Guard. At best they're mildly more prepared than my personal Guard just because they're not rooted to Canterlot. Still a hair above barely useful except in a tight punch. Usually.

As for the PPP--seriously, why did they name themselves that?--that is indeed the active standing military, but most of them are allocated toward the border towns for obvious reasons. Those that remain inland are stationed at very populated towns like Manehatten, with one section over in Cloudsdale. Suburban/rural towns are stretched thin to none at all, meaning towns like Appaloosa don't get a guard, and usually have to police themselves with local enforcement. Still, at minimum I require reports from such towns to alert me of any incidents; this is one of many reasons that I get reports from Mayor Mare in Ponyville.

Peacetime maintenance is hard, I tell you.

Now, for the Dogs... well, have you ever dealt with a groundhog that annoyed you so much you tried to blow it up?

I'll just say we tried something similar. It didn't work out at all. They know how to haul ass if they even smell us coming. Or hear us. Believe me, our idea of stealth is laughably inept.

Pinkie's the exception to that, but she's always the exception."

~Celestia

2831491 Dear Princess Celestia,

I am astounded to have received a reply to my question! I assume Big Sister realy is watching then? If so I am sorry about the things I do with my shape changing in the privacy of my hole in the ground under the Golden Oaks. Unless you enjoy watching them, in which case I must inform you that changelings do not have a concept of modesty and therefore you may do as you will without offending me.

Now to reply to your response, nether I nor my hive have ever had problems with groundhogs. We actually get along with them very well and usually trade grain for love at a fair rate of trade. I do however understand your metaphor.

I am going to assume that being a herbivore herd based species you are not very familiar with war as a concept. As you likely know my species has been predatory until the last thousand or so years when we finally found ways to trade for and farm positive emotional energy. As such we are quite adept at making war, being both feared, and frequently requiring violence to feed ourselves in the past. Because of this, removing a Dog mine is something we could handle fairly well. Here's a free hint, block the entrances before any assault is made to prevent them from fleeing. It's a weakness of all subterranean species, trust me, I lost most of my hive to an attack because of this 'bottleneck' tactic.

But enough talk about war and death! I don't get to write the Princess of the sun every day, I have other things I would like to ask if you don't mind.

What's up with the average pony's gullibility? Seriously all I do is make myself look like somepony I see in the street (I know this bothers you guys but to changeling's bodies are like clothing. You need to be right one for the moment or mood) and their friends, family and loved ones think I am them, even if I make my voice entirely different, and don't remember a conversation from five minutes ago. Seriously what's up with that? It's cute, but also something you might want a doctor to look at. Perhaps some sort of mass outbreak of a genetic ailment.

Your not actually a legal subject but totally has asked for sanctuary from the Pinkieist Temple changeling,

~Meep

2831556

"Ew. Eeewww. TMI. I don't want to know anything about your pony clothing or things you do under my student's treehouse. You go ahead and keep that to yourself. I don't want to be reminded of the things I saw on that page again.

Ahem. Of course we've tried cutting them off the same way we had with dragons, but when this is a species that can dig holes faster than we can cut them off--or fill when we try to enter and raid them--this is significantly harder than it sounds. These creatures are so adept at tunneling they can cover half the distance to Canterlot in a day if they tried. They're very persistent buggers... pardon the term.

Anyway, pony gullibility varies depending on who you ask. Some are sharp as a tack, while others are as flat as a tack head. Most fall under that latter category, and while I'd love to try and correct this, the thing is that I've been trying for centuries upon centuries to fix it with hardly any progress. Honestly, I only have one thing to show for my efforts, and that is ponies not panicking when their toilet clogs and they blame it on imaginary stool goblins.

That took a little over six hundred years.

Oh, and good luck with avoiding the Pinkists. You think you can hide, but Pinkie knows.

She knows. Really."

~Celestia

2831712

Very well. I wont tell you about my vast collection of tiny clay figurines sculpted using shape changed tool hooves.

I see your delima. Have you tried luring them away with frying baccon?

Oh I don't hide from Pinkie at all. Seriously, thirty seconds within a 300 hoofspan radius around her and I'm good on food for a week! That's why I've maid my lair under Twilight's home, Pinkie's aura of supercharged love covers the spot nearly every 7 hours, ensuring I am always well fed.

Which could be a security risk of other changelings learn of her plentiful food. Not all of us have tried... certain herbal pipe additives which as it turns out, permanently mellow us out. The other affects are also permanent, so there is also the endless munchies, hence my need for Pinkie Pie.

Are you overly concerned about the Pinkists? I could infiltrate the group for you if you like. I feel I owe you one for not paying taxes for like, 20 years.

~Meep

P.S.

Could you ask Luna why the third star left of Orian's Belt is yellow most nights but always a bright pink on my hatchway? Thank you.

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