Forgive Me... · 6:42am Feb 2nd, 2015
(This became longer than I expected, but I ask that you all - please read. Thank you.)
I just wanted to let all of you know I'm alive and still kicking. I didn't want anyone to think I had become one of those FIMfiction writers that just suddenly dropped off the grid without a word. I love writing and the ponies too much to ever want to leave this wonderful site. It's just, I fear I must implore your patience yet again. At times I get so frustrated from having to always ask you to be patient and wait. Back when I first started on here I was able to crank out plenty of enjoyable content, but as of late, it's not been as quick.
Allow me to explain. A lot's been happening, but I know no one wants a long dragging out story, so I'll just stick with what's happened as of late. Besides, around the end of December, when I posted chapter 4 of Twilight's story - "For Whom She Sparkles", I was really getting back on track. In fact in the beginning on January, I was still trucking along. Since I decided to focus my efforts on my four core stories, I was working on the long overdue editing for chapter 4 of Jeanne's story - "Then There Was You". But the last half of January has brought about a load of added stress and uncertainty in my personal life, which has sadly, impacted my writing.
First, in order to understand the first item of my dilemma, you should know that back in February of 2011, when I first came here, my father suffered a stroke, and that greatly has impacting life with my family. In fact, it's why I continue to help support my parents. They've done a lot for me. But, anyway, staying on point. On Tuesday, January 20th, shortly after I got home from work, I ended up having to call an ambulance because my Father was having dizziness and difficulty both moving and speaking. Turns out he had another, what's called, mini-stroke. I tried my best that night not to freak out. While I waited with my mom for the paramedics, I was fearful that my dad might be dying. Thankfully, he's doing all right and seems to have recovered, for now. But, each year he seems to go downhill a little more, and sadly it tends to weigh heavily on my mind at times.
Then, while there is good news on the work front, I also have some bad news or least news that brings forth more uncertainty. The good part. My wacky Tuesday to Friday Schedule is done. I'm now back to working M-F eight hours each day with Saturdays as needed. Back when I was on that schedule, I had been making better progress on my stories and I was able to enjoy doing what I love. But, my job may be in jeopardy. First, I learned early last week that a new company has controlling interest in my plant and I have no idea what long-term effects that will have. Second, we are on the ropes with two of our largest customers. If they both split, I might lose my job as the upper brass has threatened to cut our workforce in half if we lose those two clients.
So you can see why I've not been very active as of late. Plus, I just finished working 12 days straight. It was nice having tonight off, but it went by so fast. And sadly, that cold that's been going around is trying to infect me, but I'm stubborn so it's not winning, but it's sure trying its darnedest. Hopefully, when winter is over and spring returns, things will improve.
Maybe I'm not a true writer, if I let these couple things plague me from doing what I profess to love. I don't know. Just know, I haven't, nor will I give up. I still have a slew of ideas cooking on the back burner and my current stories are still brimming with updates in the works. I've got some plot development for Luna's story that should really liven her story up quite nicely. Once chapter 4 of Jeanne's story is done, things will begin getting a bit more intriguing in her story as well.
So, while I may sound like a broken record. I ask, as I always seem to, please bear with me and know your patience and support is greatly appreciated. 
I must also confess to having some darker moods as of late. I caught myself listening to my old bleak mood staple of Linkin Park, while coming home from work a few nights last week. But mood aside, I've always enjoyed their music, since I first heard "In the End" on the radio back in 2002. Man, I'm getting old. In fact, I ended up working through my birthday last sunday. lol. Hard to believe I'm 34 now.
Well, I've rambled on enough. And in case any of you might be wondering what specific Linkin Park music I was listening to, I was playing their album "Meteora". It has one of my life's theme songs, which I've included below, from a bleaker time in my life, before the ponies came around.
It seems whenever my livelihood is in doubt, this song is very therapeutic. In some ways, I still feel like I'm searching the world for "Somewhere I Belong". I must say, though, I think I just may have found it HERE, with all of you and the ponies. 
Take care!
- Jaydex
34? You're a pup Jaydex.
2763595 34 Jaydex. Got you beat by ten.
Hang in there.
2763647 Damn your older than me then.
44. Am I proud? No I'm amazed. Considering my youth.
You're okay and that's all that matters.
You hang in there buddy!
You got this. I can't say I've gone through what you have exactly, but I feel for ya, bro. I'm not going to tell you that everything will be okay, because I couldn't possibly know that for sure, but you're a warrior.
I await your next updates!
Never give up dude, I love your fics! Spike's Urine Lust, Then there was. You, the lot
Hey Jay, good to hear from you. Happy belated birthday!
Sorry to hear about your father. I lost both of my dad's parents to strokes, so I can relate with your concern. They both died within the month or so of having them. Though, my grandmother was ~84 and my grandfather 91. Glad to hear your dad is doing better even after the ministroke. I may have passed over it in reading, but is he able to communicate and such again?
I know I've extended the offer before, but if you've reached the editing stage, you can send them along to keep the stress of having to do every step on your own. It may not get new chapters out any faster, but it may put your mind at ease.
I hope your time frees up and you can stop working twelve days in a row (sheesh!). And trust me, patience is not hard to maintain. Personally, I've only had one story not pay off from waiting out of the hundreds I've read.
You've got 7 years more than me, man. And happy birthday for Sunday!
I'm much less Meteora-oriented than when I told it to you, however long ago that was, although I still have momentary lapses where I need it to make it through the day. But I do feel a lot happier about things and myself now.
I feel your pain on the "life-kicking-writing-time's butt" front, dude
Hang in there and don't give up!
Also, best of health to you and your folks!
Sorry for the delay in replying to your comments everyone.
2763647
Don' worry. I will
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Thank you.
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I will. And thank you.
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And your line about me being a warrior. I like that. 
Thank you for your support.
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Thank you. And don't worry, I have no plans on giving up.
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To answer your question. My dad can communicate and do things for himself. It's just there are some times he has a great deal of trouble doing so.
Thanks for the offer on editing. I will certainly keep that in mind.
And I think winter is part of my problem. I'm not good in cold weather. But when spring comes, I suspect I'll be back in the groove again. Heck, maybe I just needed a break. Who knows.
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Good hearing from you. And like you, I'm much less "Meteora-oriented" than I once was too. It's just every now and then.
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Thanks for your support and kind words. I certainly wont give up. And you take care as well.
2807029 no problem
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2807029
Even with that last part that's great. I'm sure he'll get better still over time.
Are u alright grrrr I'll protest u shouldn't lose ur job man I love u in a friendly way :3 ur the best author ever take ur time I must say I missed chu but u not only helped me with a getting a girlfriend but u inspire me and everything u don't just make flops or sex stories but u add a liveliness to the story like a true author I don't know what chu do but I'm in thy debt bows u r the best ever and don't get down on yourself the true writers we like u who never ever give up ever. Hugs to you and u can count on me I'm honored to call u my friend and mentor and idol. Xd o.o thanks so much and for the sicknesses try something called welness formula. Just curious is this the only way I may contact chu? I will give u any help I can whether it be moral etc. or more supporters Xd u really have helped me.