).Siren Shorts #1: They Really Are the Worst (OR 'Never let Pirate drink Mountain Dew after Midnight') · 6:35am Jan 31st, 2015
HEY! 
How's everypony doing tonight? (this morning? Whatever) Good? GOOD! 
For those who might not've seen the comments where I mentioned it, I had this idea toward the end of writing The Friend I Couldn't Be to take some of the InSaNe amount of extra backstory that I came up with while working on it and making it into a series of tagged blog posts. Not all of them are going to be sad tales like the story itself, in fact I think more of them may be slightly dark humor or just plain cracked-out comedy.
I really should have gone to sleep hours ago but I got home from work and binged on quesadillas and soda, so I decided to dig this up instead. It was originally part of the conversation that Sunset and Adagio shared in the coffee shop. Now before you ask, no, I did not write out the entire scene of Adagio telling Sunset her whole goddamn life story... that would've been completely insane... and not something that I would do in a million years... ever (I'm lying; I totally did! 
).
So sit back, and enjoy a tiny blurb that will hopefully make you chuckle, or at least nod and go 'huh, this Pirate guy is a complete whackjob'.
... on second thought, leave that last part out, 
... god, I am so wired right now....
Sunset shook her head in disbelief. "So you're saying that the three of you have been behind every major conflict in Western society for the past thousand years?"
"Pretty much," Adagio nodded.
"... I don't buy it," Sunset crossed her arms, drawing a smirk from Adagio.
"Try me."
Sunset pursed her lips, studying the siren. "Okay, fine. How about... the Medieval Crusades?"
"What, all nine of them? That was the first time we tried to take over the world... and the second... and the third... and... well, you get the idea." She rolled her eyes. "Ugh, but you can only put up with religious zealots for so long before you want strangle them yourself."
"All right... the Hundred Years War?"
"Oh, honey, you're talking to Roan of Arc," Adagio laughed. "How do you think one young girl managed to convince every single Prench nobleman on up to the Dauphin himself that she was receiving visions from God?" She flourished her hands at her shoulders and sang a single, somewhat off-key note. "Speaking of, thank God that Aria and Sonata were able to find a girl that resembled me and hypnotize her into taking my place in that Bittish prison... barbecued siren is not a food I want to try."
"Ugh, that's gross," Sunset frowned, but she was too determined to stop now. "Neighpoleonic wars."
"That one was going fine until Shorty McPompouspants decided to break the 'look; don't touch' rule."
"The Amareican Revolution."
"We were in Boston and Aria suddenly decided that tea was the worst thing ever. End of story," Adagio shrugged.
"Amareican Civil War?"
"Sonata felt bad for the slaves."
"World War II!" Sunset exclaimed, her patience wearing thin.
Adagio's grin fell away. She stared straight ahead, her eyes more or less locked with Sunset's own, but the former unicorn got the distinct impression that the siren wasn't seeing her at all. Sunset shifted uncomfortably in her seat, and a moment later Adagio shook her head briskly.
"I don't want to talk about it."
Sunset nodded and let it drop. "I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this... you're sitting here telling me that all the terrible things that humanity has done; all the hatred and fighting and grudges and... blood feuds were all because of you?"
"Well, no, not everything," Adagio admitted. "I'm sure there's at least one or two that we had nothing to do with."
"Like what?"
Adagio opened her mouth but hesitated, clapping it shut a moment later as she looked off to one side. Sunset's eyebrows rose and she could've sworn she could hear the gears grinding in the siren's head.
"... Yankees vs. Red Sox?" Adagio finally offered, scrunching her face up with uncertainty.
Sunset's head hit the table so hard that her coffee cup nearly rattled off its saucer.
That. Was. Amazing. I'm pretty sure that the line about Aria and the tea killed me. xD
That part with WWII though..... what could have been so bad that even a proud siren doesn't feel comfortable mentioning it... o.o
Now that you gave us this treat, you better continue this or i will find a way to MAKE you continue this
2759437
Thanks!
As for WWII, I imagined that the sirens had been instigating the Nazi party and whipping them into a nationalistic frenzy, only for things to spiral out of their magic's limited control. Since they need their prey alive to feed, the concentration camps would have been abhorrent even to them.
2761384
I... I guess I'd better dig up some more stuff then,
Not gonna lie, I'm glad this didn't make it into the final product. It would have utterly destroyed the story for me. I'm very much a proponent of the EQG world being a contemporary mirror-equivalent to Equestria (as presented up to current day).
Trying to tie it Earth is something I've never liked whenever I see it (partially because everyone always, always, always goes for the fucking Earth wars), it actually instantly throws me out of the story full stop, leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and I never touch it again. Worse so if it contains blatant Earth references of a higher grade than we've seen on the show. :|
(I have always liked the "the Dazzlings have secretly been the cause of everything bad ever" schtick, though. Working on a variation of that myself.
)
That's just me, though.
2762213
It's kinda hard for me to envision the EQG world as a complete mirror Equestria when Celestia and Luna are running a high school instead of controlling the heavens... I suppose you could bill it like they're just as immortal and powerful as their pony counterparts and chose to stay away from the course of history as opposed to shaping it, even so far as not getting involved when potentially world-ending shit goes down on their doorstep. I find it more enticing to think of it as a fusion of Equestria and Earth, with historical elements from both.
... in this case though I just really, really wanted to make that 'Aria hates tea' joke,
2762019
Ah. I kinda' suspected so.