Friendship is Card Games: The Cutie Pox · 4:10pm Dec 7th, 2014
Well, this has been a big week for me. I broke 300 followers and got a story featured in the Royal Canterlot Library. I wanted to get a new one published, but that may not be in the cards, and it's probably cards you came here for. My back-patting's over with, so we'll move on to the main event.
Huh. Scootaloo can hover a bit even with bowling ball saddlebags, and she got great hangtime until Apple Bloom chastised her chapeau. The thrust is clearly there. Maybe the aerodynamics are wrong, and she just needs to grow a little.
I was strongly tempted to make this blog "The Big Lebowski and Card Games: White, Blue, Black, Red, and Green Russians." I'm not going to, but again, strongly tempted. Though I am definitely not messing with the Jesus. This is an Apple Bloom-focused episode, after all.
That said, we seem to have done very little with the opportunity, even after we got a Maud with an eclectic art style. ("Does the word 'rock' make you uncomfortable, Mr. Letrotski?")
I do like how Apple Bloom's bow is empathic, basically acting as a second set of ears. Earth pony magic seems to permeate accessories. (cf. Applejack summoning her hat at the wedding, to say nothing of the not-a-Hula hoop.)
It's interesting how Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are having fun with the Crusade, even in failure. This definitely suggests a sort of feedback loop at work; they're enjoying the search so much that they're subconsciously keeping themselves from ever finishing it. Maybe even consciously. Or it's inconsistent writing for the sake of the episode's plot, ("It's just a cutie mark,") but I like my idea better.
People have commented about Zecora setting up the chipped tooth rhyme before she knew about it. I say when a pony is wincing in pain and rubbing her muzzle, that rather narrows down the possibilities. And there were other options besides.
I do like seeing Zecora in action, even if I sometimes spend more time worrying about her rhythm than the show writers do.
Oh, hi there, Twist. Still existing, huh? Good for you.
I have to wonder what Cheerilee was going to teach that day if she was so eager to have Apple Bloom put on a show instead. I'm going to say one of the bloodier wars in Equestria's history.
Huh. Foreshadowing for "Leap of Faith" with Granny Smith's reference to her acrobatic past.
I do love supernatural diseases. A living body can already go wrong in a number of fascinating and horrifying ways. Add magic to the mix and… well, probably best not to go into any greater detail there. Especially not for the trots.
That said, "cutie pox" doesn't seem like quite the right description for this malady. After all, a pox has spots form as a symptom of the illness, but cutie marks are supposed to manifest (and it's interesting to note that all of a pony's body has the necessary chromatophores.) This isn't a disease; it's a natural process that's broken out of its regulating feedback loop. Cutie pox may actually be a form of magical cancer.
I maintain that "Fancy" is an Apple-ism and not the actual name of the language or the country/region/however that works. Especially since Apple Bloom said "français" and Fluttershy specifically asked for "French haute-couture" in "Suited for Success." Granted, I use Prance and Prench, because that's just too good a horse pun to pass up.
So, did Fluttershy have a trio of lions on hoof, or did the cutie pox call them into existence? In either case, I know Applejack was happy to have a spare chair for the pie route.
It's sad to see Zecora's reaction to the townwide panic, but I do like that she's still sensitive about the whole "evil enchantress" thing. Continuity always makes me happy. And I can't help but note that Zecora didn't deny having a "zebra sense."
Applejack, Bearer of the Element of Honesty, can't tell the truth. I suppose Zecora meant the seeds needed a confession rather than just a statement of fact, but I still can't get over that disconnect.
Zecora is Batman. Sure, why not?
And learning nothing runs in the family.
Wow. I apparently had a lot to say this time. Well, without further ado:
Disease Control 1W
Instant
Creatures' toughness can't be reduced by spells or abilities this turn.
"To think, they laughed when we bought those biohazard suits."
—Roseluck, Ponyville florist
Fencer Foal 2W
Creature — Pony Child Soldier
Hoofcraft — Fencer Foal has double strike as long as you control three or more Ponies, Pegasi, and/or Unicorns.
Even in times of peace, some ponies are destined for conflict.
2/1
Zecora's Brew 2W
Instant
Choose one —
• You gain 5 life.
• Prevent the next 5 damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn.
With the right ingredients, a skilled alchemist can cure everything but a sour disposition.
Grand Display 2UU
Instant
Copy target activated or triggered ability twice. You may choose new targets for the copies. (Mana abilities can't be targeted.)
There are few things more wondrous than a pony in her element.
Cutie Pox 2B
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a -1/-1 counter on enchanted creature.
Enchanted creature has the activated abilities of each other creature.
Gutter Shot RR
Instant
Kicker 3 (You may pay an additional 3 as you cast this spell.)
Gutter Shot deals 5 damage to target creature. If Gutter Shot wasn't kicked, choose that creature at random.
The differences between Discord and the Cutie Mark Crusaders can sometimes seem academic.
Hay Fever 1R
Sorcery
Hay Fever deals 1 damage to target player for each Pony, Pegasus, and Unicorn that player controls.
You can definitely have too much of a hooved thing.
Seeds of Truth G
Sorcery
Kicker — Reveal your hand.
Search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, and put it into your hand. If Seeds of Truth was kicked, you may put that card onto the battlefield tapped instead. Then shuffle your library.
Release Tension 2GG
Instant
Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is that creature's power. Untap it.
No one gives a deep-tissue massage like an earth pony.
Pony Bowling Team 3G
Creature — Pony
At the beginning of each combat, roll a six-sided die. Pony Bowling Team gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the die roll.
Celestia help you if you step over the line.
1/1
Pouncing Pride 4GG
Creature — Cat
Flash
You may have Pouncing Pride assign its combat damage as though it weren't blocked.
"They're always so happy to see ponies. Sometimes they just can't contain themselves."
—Fluttershy, Bearer of Kindness
3/3
Loopty Hoop 3
Artifact — Equipment
2: Untap equipped creature.
Equip 1
Its uses are limited only by skill and imagination.
Charley Horse UB
Instant
Target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn. Tap that creature.
A cramp so bad, it feels like somepony kicked you in the side.
Irresistible Dance BR
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature attacks each turn if able.
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, put a -1/-1 counter on it.
Heart's Desire RG
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature you control
Untap enchanted creature during each other player's untap step.
At the beginning of each end step, if you didn't activate an ability of enchanted creature this turn, Heart's Desire deals 1 damage to you.
Persistent Denial W(wu)U
Instant
Counter target spell. That spell's controller can't cast spells that share a type with that spell this turn.
There's just no pleasing some ponies.
Hoopla 2(wu)
Instant
Equipped creatures you control gain flying until end of turn.
Aerodynamics seems to pretend that Equestria doesn't exist sometimes.
High U//Low 2G
Instant//Instant
High: Target creature gains flying until end of turn.
Low: Target creature loses flying until end of turn. If that creature lost flying this way, Low deals damage to it equal to its power.
Fuse (You may cast one or both halves of this card from your hand.)
... WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS
Wait, when did that happen, and how did I miss it
"Pony Bowling Team" should read "At the beginning of each combat, roll a six-sided die. Pony Bowling Team gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is equal to the die roll." as it is with Goblin Bowling Team.
"Hoopla" -_-
No, bad FanOfMostEverything, bad! Puns are to be expected when dealing with ponies because of the show puns but this is just going too far!
"High U//Low 2G" I think this would sound a better better as "Highs and Lows" instead of just "High and Low".
I could also see this one as a card they might actually print when they do Fuse again.
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Heck if I know. Put Filthy Rich in a wheelchair, make the nihilists griffins so the girlfriend can still cut off a toe, Jackie Treehorn's probably a minotaur... It practically writes itself. (Of course, that may be the problem. Who'd want to read a straight ponification when the other option is watching The Big Lebowski?)
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They post them on their own site a week before they put them up here. Here's the link.
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Nope. Remember, Un sets never get their Oracle text updated. In Magic syntax, a number is equal to a given value, while X just is that value. Plus, it's inconsistent even in the set itself. Compare Free-Range Chicken.
As for Hoopla, Apple Bloom's the one who called it that. Blame her. Also, High//Low is singular for the same reason Ends is plural; only one target.
Those seem like some unique cards. ...And you have some very interesting opinions for this...I'm surprised I didn't notice them in the episode.
I think the thing to do with Cutie Pox is to have creatures that can repeatably put +1/+1 counters on things, ideally more than once a turn. Maybe put it on a Necrotic Ooze while you have Grimgrin out...
Persistent Denial is strictly worse than Render Silent; would a cost of 1WU make it too powerful?
That the Cutie Mark Crusaders are subconsciously sabotaging their efforts was the premise of one of my stories, An Understanding Heart, a.k.a. The Cutie Mark Crusaders Get Counseling.
Seeds of Truth looks scary. Turn 1 mana ramp is hard to design to not be broken.
And why not have the hazmat suit as an equipment? (Or did you already put it in a previous FICG?
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Shoot. The one time I don't check a card's cost on Gatherer. Still, 1WU seems too low for tthis effect. As such, I've given it a rather wonky cost of W(wu)U. Basically the same thing as 1WU for a white-blue deck, but not for one running more colors.
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Oh hey, one of your stories I haven't read. Awesome.
I thought giving your opponent a free Peek would be worth the one mana. Playtesting would probably decide how wrong I was.
And yes, Biohazard Suit was already made for "Bats!"
Disease Control should say toughnesses, because each creature has a separate toughness.
And Pony Bowling Team is silver-bordered.