A.I. writing fanfic!Blueblood's Ascension Part III Draft 2: Complete · 8:50pm Sep 11th, 2014
Yes, I've completed the final edits for Blueblood's Ascension Part III; or, Even Alicorns Have Dreams. I was extra excited for this story at the beginning, so I've decided to be extra picky now that it's come to its end. I did my best to boost it up from merely good to great. Did I succeed? Let history be my judge.
For those who've already read it all the way through--who don't want to read all the way through again--here's a list of the chapters with edits.
1. A Dreamy Prince
--minor dialogue edits at the end of the chapter, introducing the curse earlier.
2. A Much Expected Gathering
--minor dialogue edits at the end of the chapter to reveal implications about the family curse.
4. Aliconversation
--Celestia's dialogue edited to fix small chronology issue with Lightning Dust/Luna's monologue edited to give fuller picture of the history of Tartarus
12. Understandings and the Missing Thereof
--minor edit to Blueblood's outburst.
17. Begging Your Pardon
--dialogue edited to account for the curse already being revealed.
34. Best Flight Ever
--major dialogue edit to remove plot hole/removal of banishment subplot
40. Reality’s Collapsing
--major scene change to give Flash Sentry's character arc a better conclusion/minor dialogue edit for Scorpan
41. In Which Much is Wrapped Up
--major scene change to remove banishment subplot and wrap up the series as a whole/minor prose edits to reflect new outcome
42. Chapter the Very Last; or, a Short Epilogue
--minor dialogue edit to remove banishment subplot.
The banishment subplot was removed because I had no real way of justifying it at all. Most of the dialogue edits near the beginning were mild attempts at giving the characters reasons for going to Tartarus beyond "But I must go!" I'm still not too sure I hit that one out of the park.
Above all, the ending is a bit more soulful than before. I believe so, anyhow. 
Alright. Since I'm all about the Sentrification:
I definitely like the more bittersweet "It can be tough to forgive" situation, and the implication that Twilight and he are going to have to work at their relationship, not just suddenly be happy after all that happened, and the misery at him being unable to match up to the ideal version of himself. I mean... he says forgiveness has to be given, and ultimately it has to be chosen to be given, but it won't happen if there's no indication that things are going to change... so it's not really "unconditional" it just... has to be once-and-done. You can't "take back" forgiveness, if you did it wasn't really forgiveness.
Also the last lines in it do actually hammer home he doesn't have to save the world to be a hero... although arguably he doesn't save her until the end here, even if he was trying to the whole time. So he's a maybe-hero, but definitely did good.
I went ahead and reread the changed chapters, and I think the modifications make for a much stronger ending. I also went ahead and recommented on most of them, because why leave one comment when you can leave five.
Thanks again for indulging my concerns regarding the ending.
2447078
That's Flash Sentry's worldview in action. I think it might explain why Human!Flash was in a relationship with Sunset Shimmer for as long as he was. Probably not healthy, but I like to think the end of the story was a step in the right direction.
Close only counts in horseshoes and grenades, I know. Maybe we can add heroism to the list?
2447206
I agree. It's a pretty nice bookend and overview of the series as a whole. Plus, there was all that cool Nightmare stuff. Can't forget the cool Nightmare stuff.
And now I can go ahead and never capitalize "nightmare" again except in names. 'Tis the end of an era.
Anything that's worth one paragraph is worth twenty, right?
Thank you for voicing your concerns and keeping me honest. Sometimes I miss things, I know. I won't say I indulged you so much as I saw where you were coming from, and I think I'm pretty happy with the result.
2447724 Alright man, cheers.
I was pretty happy overall with the original ending, but this is really strong, not just because it gives a better ending to FlashLight and removes the Banishment subplot, but also that scene where everyone offers to be "sanity buddies" is really touching on its own.
BTW, I'm going to assume that the destruction of Tartarus is what finally gave King Luminescence the political cover to build a proper and humane prison for the nightmares in his own land, when before nobody wanted them dumped in the kingdom of living dreams.
2448370
Thanks. I'm really glad it got added. It adds a lot to the ending.
It was more like they trapped them where they stood and it would have been a heck of a time moving them. Complacency is a dangerous thing.
But you know, "death of the author" and all that.
Works for me!