Jul
29th
2014
Two small announcements about Chitin · 7:47pm Jul 29th, 2014
First, because the passage with Fluttershy and the mirror clearly wasn't working, I've made some small revisions that I think should help explain what's happening. (I'm a little wary of showing my hand so early, but it's already shown to anyone who looked at what groups this story's in and noted the odd one out.)
Second, I think I need another beta reader to help me figure out what I'm doing before I post, rather than after. I made the first offer to Pseudonymous, who significantly helped me narrow down the problem, but I haven't gotten a response so far. If anyone else wants to try out for it, I welcome assistance.
(I'll have a big announcement pretty soon, but it's non-pony. I'll make a separate post for it once it's ready.)
This story interests me enough that I think I'd be interested in being a prereader, if you still need one.
Admittedly I thought the chapter was fine as it was... But I'd gladly preread and give my thoughts, if you want :)
I would gladly preread and proofread (if needed at this point in time).
I'd be a pre-reader if you want opinions.
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2326901 Thanks for all the offers. I've sent one invitation, and I'll see how that goes.
I good example of ask and you shall receive also your story is very gud I can't wait for the next chapter.
What was wrong with the mirror scene?
2329018 Folks took it as Fluttershy being silly and playing around at a time when she ought to be scared. I needed to give it more of a compulsive feel, like she couldn't stop herself from doing it.
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Ah, thanks. I didn't think either of those, explaining my confusion. My interpretation was that she was indeed scared, then got caught up in experimentation, then started to enjoy it, particularly when she realized that she had here a cure for her shyness (ie, the ability to prevent people from knowing that she's Fluttershy).
I mean, fear might be the conventional response, but it's not going to be everyone's. In Fluttershy's case, she knows she's in a safe place; she doesn't have to fear others. She seems fine, at least at the moment, and any lingering fear could be fled from by distracting herself with experimentation (which seems to me a relatively natural response for Fluttershy).
The "odd group out" does put a rather different spin on it, but I think that that's still a reasonable start. Only instead of blindly playing around, she finds that she's adjusting her body to a perception of correctness that she wasn't aware she had, it looks like.