A Degree of Inner Turbulence · 10:57pm Jul 20th, 2014
If you've known me long enough and kept up with my blogs, you know that I'm a guy prone to a lot of self-pity, extreme confidence issues, and feeling that the whole world is against me at all times, with regular phases of valley-like depression. This makes most comfort hard to accept, coming across as a "I'm doing it because it's the right thing to do, but honestly couldn't care less either"-sort of thing, often times leading said comfort feeling more like a mock than genuine help.
But once in a while—very rarely, but definitely happening—there's that one person, that one comment that actually not only tells me they are supportive, but also shows me that they care; when the words aren't just words, but also empathy that I can feel being emitted through my screen.
There were two people who did so recently already (Maskedferret and Amonchakai). Today I would like to add a third person to that list: InquisitorM. The reasoning should be simple enough to grasp from reading his comment. Also, Garnot's blogpost itself is very interesting and you should definitely give it a read.
Every time I get such display of people caring I am completely at loss for words. I can't even properly say "thanks" because I am not used to these things at all. But I guess this blog here is enough to prove how much it means to me.
And now I feel bad for hi-jacking Garnot's blog post for my misery.
Stop.
I'm going to say this in capitals:
THERE. IS. NOTHING. WRONG. WITH. YOU.
So how can you feel so bad if there is nothing wrong with you? Because defending yourself against others is normal and proper. The problem is that we're not the ones attacking you and your lizard brain can't distinguish real threats from phantom ones. I seriously doubt that this really has anything to do with your writing at all. Like most people here, you write as an escape. From what, I can't know, but I'm smart enough and knowledgeable enough to make a few guesses.
I won't, because it's completely inappropriate in public.
...
You're welcome, and I meant what I said: if you want to get into it and start finding some real answers, I can do that.
-Scott
I'm also surprised that you and Scott spoke as you did. That's why I said nothing, as there was nothing else to be said.
*Hugs* Glad you're learning we care.