So... I have this awful story idea that will not go away

Twilight Sparkle and the Unauthenticated Alicorn.

The basic premise is as follows.

Luna discovers evil villain lair, moved in, seizes villain, destroys villain and covers up all traces of his passing.

Except...

There's this earth pony. And the earth pony has been horribly experimented on and there is a unicorn's horn surgically grafted onto his head and pegasus wings grafted onto his surgically altered body.

And he is a broken broken pony who is completely mad.

Somebody got tired of trying to ascend the hard way and wanted to find out if surgical options were available. It is a very messed up story idea and I am positive that it isn't original at all.

So, it keeps tumbling around.

I can't even figure out how to tag this story at this point.

Comments

[the_sane_maniac]

i say that this story would be impossible for most authors to pull off since the deep emotional feeling in the text and the knowledge of how to write the "MAD" that is required is above the capabilities of most.

you however... maybe.

you have written really good stuff. if nothing else, "Princess Luna's Suicide Solutions" proves that you can write emotional on a degree that is definitely above and beyond average. if it is a sad, fearful and broken kind of mad you are aiming for then im pretty sure that you can pull it off.

[kudzuhaiku]

2107745

The story idea began with a weird fever dream I had with a surgically tormented pony whispering to Twilight Sparkle "Dog food. You and I are made of dog food. And glue! yes glue! Glue for me and glue for you whoopty doo!" and then a mad fit of laughter.

[the_sane_maniac]

2107748 ah... that was sort of what i feared.

i have no idea if you can write that kind of mad. don't missunderstand, im not doubting you but i have not seen that kind of writing from you and i know that it is hard to pull off without making it just sound stupidly over the top. maybe you can, maybe you can't

it's really up to you, i am certain you can pull off the emotions needed to make the story good. the question you need to ask is "can i make the dialog sound authentic?"

[kudzuhaiku]

2107754

Read Puppy Love.

Those whom the alicorns wish to destroy they first make mad!

Just little slips into madness there.

[Mad Maudlin]

Original? Well.. The description does remind me quite a lot of Frankenstein. Now theres a story that needs to be ponified.

The Dark, Sad and Tragedy tags definitely apply. And I think they'd need a lot more than surgery to duplicate the magic of the tribes. Otherwise, you've just got a seriously mangled Earth Pony. Or a baby Discord. I dunno.

Lot of potential with this sort of story, really. "Life in Ponyville as a surgically altered freak". Racism, xenophobia, xeniphilia, futanari(might as well go for broke), madness, ponyslaughter, accidentally petting Angel too hard(Poor Lenny) , the return of our villains and so on.

I'd like to see it.

[kudzuhaiku]

2107759

Well, he was a failure.

Things work... But badly.

And yeah, I had Frankenstien in mind.

[the_sane_maniac]

2107758 "And They Call It Puppy Love" this one?

[kudzuhaiku]

2107764

Yeah.

The toilet rant was utterly mad.

[Lord Of Dorkness]

Dark and Slice of Life? Since it's mostly about the rehabilitation of a pony that's been horribly used from my understanding?

Any way, it sounds like a really good concept, and I haven't seen that take on forced ascension very often. I can think of one with biological instead of completely mechanical limbs, and those where still artificial if biological rather then stolen.

[Midnight Musashy]

you my friend have a serious problem with dark and depressing fimfics, I suggest you see a therapist
after you finish all your current novels

[Thegeekgirlpony]

>>kudzuhaiku
i think it is a good idea and you should tag it as dark and alternate universe, i also think this tortured earth pony should be tortured by pinkameana

[WishyWashy]

Check out "The Insanity", a flash game. I believe the elements are roughly similar. I did want to use that sort of twisted horror in an "Amnesia: the dark descent" setting, but being bad with writing, was unable to do it and thus abandon it. I believe, however, that your skills can handle it

[Starknight619]

all I can say is this

*ahem* DO IT!!!!

[RuqyoHighsong]

I think I will pass on this one. Sounds like the pony equivalent of Frankenstein.