Apologies (R6) · 9:43pm Apr 8th, 2014
I'm writing these three for my top three stories, at least the ones that aren't one-shots, of course. And for what, well mainly the long update periods. It's been over a month since I've tried to write anything period, and far longer since I tried to continue these. I feel somewhat ashamed about it, and things can't fully seem to keep up.
One of the reasons for this is my hectic schedule, although, looking over my own work, it's not an entire excuse itself; I'll admit I was lazy at times, and I'll apologize for that as well. After that (and one could probably guess this already), I've come up with several new ideas of various design and in varying stages of completion; and since my mind never stops thinking, I've got around 100 odd story ideas (counting those I have, as I've never fully completed anything) and I keep wanting to try new things. I also deal heavily with Paranoia and Depression, which can delay things quite a bit.
But beyond all of that is the most horrid, damning thing. I just can't get the good feeling from writing anymore, and indeed my spirited, prided, kind of pure happiness feeling I found when I first joined the fandom is lost. I love almost everything about it, and I love you all especially as family. Yet now I don't feel that giddy feeling I long for, the feeling of uniqueness is missing, and I'm trying to find it. It started festering a while back, and just exploded when the group thread notifs were turned off and interaction just vanished. When I did my first story I did it on something I loved and I'll admit it was nowhere near great, but I enjoyed doing it through all the work. Now writing doesn't feel... rewarding.... it feels like a chore. Whenever I open a doc to write something, I actually find myself sighing, like I'm doing homework or something.
But I've resolved to get past this now. I'm going to write what I feel like writing. I'm going to write in the style I feel comfortable with. And with my first anniversary of joining the fandom just around the corner, I will do something. From now on, my writing isn't going to be a business. This is going to be about the same thing the fandom is about, fun. It's as simple as that.
Now with Rainbow 6 it's an odd thing. It was the most advanced and detailed story I had written at the time, and I guess it showed, considering I didn't hold much for it, like most works. The biggest handicap with it is that I actually don't own a copy of the book, I keep having to check it out from the library. Trying to figure out an interesting story that isn't cliché was tough, but I think I've found it out. Next up is mainly going to be a diplomatic chapter, so sorry no fights. But you'll want to read, as it's one of the more important. Also, expect a cameo from our favorite CIA author: Jack Ryan.
Also I found this-
Always write what you want, man. To write anything that doesn't have your heart in it isn't just terrible to you; people will know that you don't have your heart in it. You do what you enjoy to do, and it'll be better for everyone.
And if you're looking for that giddy feeling again, there's always one thing; take some time off. Everyone has to take time away from what they know and love every so often. That's how you keep it fresh and interesting. Maybe try your hand at drawing, or sculpting, or even music. You never know what may be interesting. And you never know how it may improve your writing.
So enjoy yourself, whatever you do. That's how the quality works are made.
1992841
Thanks.
Don't worry, I have writer's block like you wouldn't believe.
Or maybe I'm just lazy...
Either way, I can hardly seem to bring myself to write anything when I want to, so I know how it feels, amigo. Just keep writing however or whatever floated your boat, as long as you enjoy it.
You're welcome
I am so using this on every journal.
1993503
Many Thanks, your explanations have shown me the light.
1992841
1993503
1993235
Also, this came out today. It's a sign for me to write again, I swear.