Contemplating The Nightbook Take 2 · 9:06pm Dec 9th, 2013
So last month I did a blog, which isn't all that unusual, since I appear to be one of those authors who can never stop whining about anything. I just have a constant need to remind everyone of my existence, miserable pile of secrets that it is.
The blog in question, however, was about Nightbook, which by then had already put on its 5 year mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before hiatus. Contemplating, I thought about such things like all the positive responses, like people not comprehending what was wrong with me as to write something like this (you know, the usual stuff you get when your story has a cover with a diapered pony), or, heaven's forbid, actually liking this terrible beast.
Considering how the actual story is starting in January (consider what I've done until The Snow Part III the prologue) and there's a lot of stuff I have to write beforehand, like Down, the final four chapters of Solaria's first part and a thing, I would like to take this moment, now with the added help of the tagging option to pose a question.
Mind you, Cold Spike and Squee-Chi somehow already found this dark and damp place to answer it – Something I'm truly grateful for – but I'm going to ask it again anyway:
If you're reading Nightbook and haven't dropped because of my inane update schedule, are there any other reasons but cute, puffy underwear that have enticed you to read on?
And in addition:
What do you think went wrong until now, could be fixed or should be explained better as the story goes on?
Because critique is important. Amirite?
I didn't know I helped? And yes there is a reason, I want to see what happens in the end. For personal reasons but it is kind of how my mind works. Any world I read here that I have kept reading is real enough to my mind, it bothers me when a story is left un finished because to me it feels real. Yes, your writing is that good btw. But even bad stories do that to me >< so it is mainly my fault
I do hope you keep going, its not just the diapers or baby treatment. I'm not sure if I asked but are you into that kind of stuff?
If not then it's cool, wouldn't be the first time I saw someone try this topic out when they aren't really a 'baby' or however you want to call us 
Oh right, what is wrong? I suppose I'm still confused on Fluttershy's feelings. if you ever need any help on pushing your self, you could always chat me up on Skype: tyleraw2. I'm told I am good at motivating others sometimes
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Glad I could help, though I'm not sure what I did. Just keep doing good work.
I think the biggest thing The Nightbook has going for it is the fact that it really captures the sort of feeling that someone who's actually going through the real life symptoms as Twilight can relate, and those who aren't can still see how those someone's work. Not to mention you do a wonderful job with Twilight's character.
The only thing that really needs to be improved is Fluttershy's reaction, it seems OOC of her to just flat out reject Twilight's offer for no reason. If anything I would think that Fluttershy would be the most understanding of all of Twilight's friends. Whereas someone like Applejack or Rarity might have one of those kneejerk reactions.
I haven't read much but I agree with Pink12, you managed to make tifelike and intresting. However, I would only read this if I was in a certain mindset. Still what I've read is very good.
I admit what caught my attention was the cover, but the synopsis is what really got me interested in this story. It caught my attention and I tried the story.
It was great. All I have to say is don't give up, it's a great story, keep up the good work.
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The cover caught my attention but I was drawn in by the story. Twilights behaviour and how her thought processes lead her to act like a child as treatment for her OCD were very much in character and made it believable.
The only bit that didn't make much sense to me was Fluttershy's reaction given her general character. But then again how would a person react if one of their friends just confessed something like that to them, we just don't know.
I think you mentioned having a reason for this reaction and that it would be explored in the course of the story so I'm waiting with baited breath at the moment.
You are writing a great story. Keep going!
pffft like i can fucking remember the structure of a story i haven't read in months to critique it.....
I have three main reasons for following this:
My first reason for reading is because I like stories that contemplate serious issues without leaping off a cliff into grimdark territory and depressing the readers. Second, there aren't many stories about this (infantilism) at all, and most of the ones I've seen focus more on the diapers and other items than the mindset and regression that comes with the roleplay. Third, and possibly most importantly, I want to see the ponies express care and acceptance of Twilight in the face of her unusual wants and needs.
What Twilight has asked of her friends is strange and uncomfortable for them, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's a bad thing. It is odd, but becoming an adult doesn't mean you can't enjoy some of the things you had as a kid (this being a more extreme example of the idea). Personally, I believe that it's a bad idea to shut yourself off completely from things that you 'outgrew,' and that it is more healthy to stay connected to your youth, within reason. I'm hoping to see the other ponies work past their discomfort for the sake of their friendship with Twilight and embrace one of the core concepts of this kind of age regression - caring and nurturing another while they re-live what is both the most innocent and most defenseless stage of their life.
The only thing I really have a complaint about is Fluttershy. Not because I felt her rebuttal itself was OOC, since I can see her getting upset at Twilight's suggestion given what's been implied so far about her personal history. What bothers me is the mood whiplash. One second she's being shy but friendly, then as soon as Twilight asks her to be the caretaker, Fluttersy immediately shoots her down and becomes unsympathetic and forward. It was too fast, Fluttershy didn't try to let Twilight down gently or otherwise avoid hurting her friend's feelings, but instead threw her out without any kind of discussion. That is what I feel is really OOC.
Well, to start off with, the story description is what caught my attention, since it was pretty well written and it made the story seemed like it was worth a read. As I kept reading though, I was drawn into the characters themselves, since the story didn't just go down the route of immediate fetish satisfaction. You instead started to explore what Twilight was really feeling, and how she even had a relapse into her OCD and that it was at the verge of costing her everything.
I do want to see the story continued, because I would like to see how Twilight deals with all of her issues and if she is strong enough to overcome them with her friends. You've taken a subject manner that tends to run towards the fetishistic and rehashes the same plot lines and managed to make it feel new. The overall idea of Twilight being stressed out and needs a little "little time" isn't new, but you breathed new life into it with how well you portrayed Twilight. I could relate to her struggle through your writing and really understand why she was so quickly becoming self destructive. Heck, with her personal insight into the issue, being able to see that she is going to crash, and yet she still goes down that route makes the dangers of her path even more clear and why she needs her friends to help her get off of it.
The only thing that just really caught me off guard was Fluttershy's reaction to Twilight's proposal, and how Fluttershy hadn't really try to make it up to Twilight, even when Twilight was falling further into her OCD induced despair. Now, from what you hinted at in the story, Fluttershy has had anything but a loving family life, so the reaction could be warranted, but the immediate mood change from friendly to harsh and cold was just odd to me. I feel that Fluttershy would have at least tried to let Twilight down more gently at first, and only resort to coldness at the end.
Overall, you have one heck of a great story and I can't wait to see what happens to the characters as time goes on.
Don't have it in me for a long digression about the story's intricacies. While I'm certainly up for some padded Twilight, the addition of her crippling OCD is an excellent framing device that provides an enlightening look into what it would be like living with such a disorder.
As for things to improve, some of your sentences still have awkward phrasing (something I'm sure I mentioned to you in the earlier chapters) and the plot plodding along. Much of the lead-up to Twilight's treatment just seems to be repeating her problem, except slightly worse than last time (almost as if you keep trying until you do it perfectly, eh?). Had this been done within the context of some other event, such as the main six trying to fix one of their Saturday-episode problems, this would have been fine. By itself, though, it just felt like filler (or padding, if you will, hurr hurr). I will also admit to having some minor form of OCD myself, mostly when it comes to writing and avoiding repetition in my word choice even when changing it results in a worse product, which probably contributes to my interest.
Wooh, thanks for dem answers. That's a lot of awesome stuff right here.
1590050 Well, comments are like fuel. So sometimes simple encouragement can help. As for the whole seeing a story through bit, that's admirable. I try to keep it up, but by now I've got over a hundred stories I want to start and like twenty I need to finish reading. Why is reading harder than writing?
And yeah, I'm into this stuff, it's just not the focus of my writing because I can never come up with stories for infantilism and I don't want to write simple fetish literature. There're lots of better writers for that.
1590067 He speaks the truth, though.
1590370 I will, if you keep on being beautiful. . . Not that you have to put a lot of work into that, but, you know, just keep doing what you did before.
1590387 Thanks for the praise. I have to admit, I wasn't sure whether or not I could pull Twilight off when I started this, or rather, how she handles her issues. I wouldn't call Infantilism a proper cure for anything really, much less an actual psychological disorder, so making that believable is something I'm still struggling wtih. Meh, if it worked till now I'll probably manage to pull it off for the coming stuff.
1590431 You actually tried out even this
trainwreckultra awesome story that knows no comparison on this site and is sure to be called my Magnum Opus?I understand what you mean with the reading though, it's the same writing it. Nightbook is one of those stories where I actually have troubles getting into "the zone", if you know what I mean.
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1590491 No, you're awesome, that's both you and that funny grey pegasus who's telling me I'm awesome.
1590868 It appears the cover is doing its work.
Again, it's good to see that the process I wanted to convey worked. Honestly, Twilight goes so off the rails with her thought-train that I wasn't really sure she sounded all that sane when she first came up with the idea. On the other hand, it's Twily, it's certainly not the worst thing she's come up with.
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1590888 You're talking like this story has any content that could be remembered beyond Twilight whining about how much the symmetry of her life is frakked up.
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1592044 I specifically wrote this as to not just do something to sate my fetish. I never got behind writing something that focuses solely around diapers. Some people can pull it off, but anything beyond 10 chapters usually goes into: "Dude, just finish it,"-territory. Things can easily get very repetitive (which, in retrospective, isn't really that different from this story).
I had originally planned for only Pinkie and Rainbow Dash accept her, because 1.) Pinkie and 2.) Element of Loyalty, but Rarity's job could easily be played in a manner where she acts as the only supplier for Ponyville After Dark, and Applejack. . . I dunno, I never got her into as much focus as I wanted. She's still kind of a blank slate due to having her own problems. Maybe I'll be able to fix that next chapter, though.
1595971 Twilight's intelligent and Twilight has OCD, those two things are established within in show canon and I just wanted to run amok with it, I guess.This whole aspect of 'seeing her faults' is actually something I experienced personally. I've got lots of issues and I am completely aware of most of them, but still can't really fix them. I'll just hope Twilight's better at handling her life then I am with mine.
1602503 Welp, that short digression works for now. I don't really know how much the phrasing's gotten better, but I hope it's at least a little bit.
The lead-up was meant to do what you just said it did. That's sadly the thing with OCD, due to it's nature there isn't much room for change and the only times Twilight started moving into any sort of direction it was due to outside influence. I don't really think anything meaningful happens within the story without Twilight getting some insight from somepony else first. It was meant to be a slow process that slowly build up Twilight's growing despair as well as the world around her and how it will help in aiding her with her problem. If that makes any sense. Probably not though.
As for the Fluttershy biz:
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Understandable. Since almost no one reads comments within comments, I feel safe enough to show you this: Taboo Feelings (I wrote that :P) if you ever want to check it out for fun or maybe inspiration? Who knows. 1603730
1603730 I figured from Applejack's reactions that she was secretly envious of Twilight or something like that. Word Of God says that AJ's parents died when she was young, so the nursing part of infantilism could be like a way to briefly re-live the familial affection she lost. But, she would first have to admit that to herself, and then look for somepony to help her with it. Seeing as infantilism in general is viewed as contrary to what is socially acceptable, either one would be difficult for a pony like Applejack. Of course, this is just my opinion.
1603730 im still holding on to the nostalgia of the nostalgia of the swing in the rain lol.....