Please give me some feedback on a story idea. · 10:35am Oct 20th, 2013
Welp, it finally happened.
For three months since I started writing on this site I have successfully avoided it, but now I got an idea for a story based on the Equestria Girls movie.
...Does that make me a sell-out? 
Seriously though, I got this idea for the first chapters and I'd like to know if you think it's something I should put into my concept list for stories I'll eventually write. So, take a quick look and leave a short comment. Anything with more than five words is highly appreciated.
Trading Dog Days for Dragon Decades
It's been five years since the incident at Canterlot High and through a chain of events that might or might not be mentioned Twilight (the human one) moved from the city into the smaller town surrounding the school, and made friends with the five girls we already know. Overall, life is good.
Well... except for a new problem Twilight is confronted with. She has had her dog Spike for over a decade now; for a while he was her only true friend besides her brother and her old babysitter. Alas, dogs only live for so long, and while Spike is still happy and full of energy Twilight can't help but feel like their time is slowly nearing it's end.
"Oh my... Do you think the other Twilight might be going through this, too, right now?"
"Of course not! Duh! Don't you remember? Over in their world, Spike isn't a dog, he's a dragon. He can even talk. Who knows how many centuries dragons can live."
And thus begins Twilight's journey to the statue just outside their old school, where the portal is supposed to open this night. She wants to send Spike to Equestria so he can lead a longer life as a dragon, even if that means parting with her companion. At least that was the plan. But after a bit of shoving, stumbling and falling Twilight is the one who ends up on the other side of the portal. Two guardsponies, who have been tasked with guarding the portal in case anything comes through, take the unconscious Twilight to the infirmary, leaving just in time to miss the little dragon who followed through the portal.
How will Twilight react to being in a world full of ponies, and meeting her alternate self? Will Spike find his friend before he gets in trouble? And how does a dog-turned-dragon communicate?
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and hopefully for your comments as well. 
I think it could make a good story. Of course Twilight would be shocked because she has never seen anything like this. The others like Pinkie and Applejack were there when this whole Sunset Shimmer disaster happened and already know a little bit about magic but for the EQ Twilight (can I say that? The Equestria Girls and the Normal Twilight?) it would be something new. If she is like the N Twilight she would question everything and won't believe in anything that happens there because you know, she can't explain that with science. And if an other Twilight just falls out of the mirror I think the guards would tell Cadance or Shining and then they would tell Twilight. Because two allicorn princesses who look the same aren't that normal in Equestria....only when there are changelings involved. That were my thoughts for the Twilight part. Not perfect but I hope I helped.
For the Spike part...I think he would walk like a dog now. And he would behave like one. And if Cadence or Shining Armor meet him they would be really confused when he is only barking.
In the end, I think you could make a cool story out of this. It deals with the problems and the fear of loosing an old friend but also could lighten up the mood with good jokes and hilarious situations.
I hope I helped with this in any way. Even when it just was me, rambling about ideas I have for this
I take it that human Twilight would be tempted to stay as well?
I realize that just what the non-royal sisters alicorns can do varies heavily from head-canon to head-canon... but flight and magic at the very least is still quite the temptation.
And how would
react? I could imagine suspicions about a changeling infiltrator at first, but what about when that has passed? Basically having a second 'copy' of a mage that impressed her might be near irresistible politically speaking, not to mention on the personal plane. I could imagine C just dropping incentives into her lap to make H! Twilight stay in that case.
Other then those things (that I realize might simply have been left out of the synopsis) it sounds like the seed of a good story. I'd read it.
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You're reading too much into it. I can't believe I'm saying this, but as far as I have planned there won't be any changelings involved, nor will there be any huge problems or catastrophes.
Just some good old Comedy with a dash of Why-did-no-one-think-of-that-before.
Now, you raise some valid points, so let me counter-argument. Of course Twilight (hu) will freak out for a moment, but it's been five years since EQG and her new friends over in her world were neither short on evidence, nor time to tell her everything in detail (AJ: "Over and over again... We were there, Rainbow, we've seen yer wings, and we've seen all the photos Pinkie Pie inexplicably has."). Since that incident it has been decided that the mirror will be watched by two guards for the three days the portal is active (which is how the guards meet Twilight (hu) when she comes through the mirror), so nopony has reason to suspect that she's a changeling.
At the beginning at least, the story will focus on Twilight (p), Twilight (hu) and Spike (d). Spike (d) was just an animal back in his world - even if he was clever enough, kinda like the ponies' pets in the show - but now he has actually achieved sentience. Can he talk? Can he learn to talk? How well can he adapt, and does he actually want to stay in Equestria?
So far I haven't even made it halfway through the first day in terms of planning. I don't think the Equestrian Remane Five will come to the Crystal Empire for this, but maybe the human ones will come looking for their Twilight? I don't know yet.
P.S.: And, of course, thank you very much for your comments in the first place.
1437519
Like I said. I was just rambling my ideas in the first comment
You explained your counter arguments good. They are accepted as valid.
Let's see what you are making out of this
1437519
Over-thinking MLP?
Say it isn't so!
Seriously though that's a fair point, but you might want to consider the political side of things, especially if your going for comedy. You might get more then a few jokes out of threating it seriously, absurdly enough.
Read any Pratchett? Think that vibe.
After all, just because H! Twilight knows about the incident, doesn't mean she knows much about Equestria. I mean, just off the top of my head:
H!
"Let me get this straight... Principal Celestia's counterpart is an immortal pony princess that controls the sun... and she took you on as her protege after you nearly magically nuked the capitol as a filly..."
P!
"Well, I wouldn't put it like that..."
H!
"...And she made you the Princess of Friendship, after you accidentally switched all your friends magic butt tattoos..."
P!
"They're called cutie-marks...
H!
"...This world is insane, isn't it?"
P!
"Eh, you get used to it. Besides, you should see Ponyville. Now that's insanity central."
H!
"...What have I gotten myself and Spike into?"
This idea sounds super, magically AWESOME!!!
1437560
Read any Pratchett? READ ANY PRATCHETT!?
Occasionally.
I'll keep that in the back of my mind. We'll see if it grows into a cancerous three-chapter side plot.
Still, if the mirror is still located in the Crystal Empire, H-Twilight would at least get a little while to acclimate before meeting too many other ponies.
1437561
I'll take that as "yes", then.
1437597
Hey, when you presume...
I know it's utterly sick and wrong, but I've actually met people that haven't
Yeah, I don't get it either. My personal guess would be mole-men infiltrators that just don't get it... except my mom's one of them.
I want to read this. Very interesting concept. :D
Sending EQG characters through the portal to Equestria certainly has been put through its paces by other authors at this point, but I don't remember seeing many (or any) that concentrate on Spike.
I say try it!
1451337
This is definitely on my writing list now. If Bookish says she hasn't seen the concept yet...
Can't say when I will ever get to it, though. The ideas I already have are concerningly often interrupted by new one-shots.
I would agree, that this idea has been touched on several times as of yet, though with a focus on Spike it could be interesting in that even in the actual MLP show and EQG, not a lot comes from the perspective of Spike or is about such. I would definitely read this as it's kind of an already-used idea, but from every new perspective comes a new story, so I say go for it!
1521382
Well, the big difference is that the story doesn't feature "our" Spike, but dog-Spike...
I don't think I've ever seen a story with that premise.
1568879
I started the first chapter, but today I got an idea for a Hearth's Warming story that is my top priority for now, and I don't want to make people wait too long on new PPPM chapters, either.
And then there's still that RP forum I'm in.
It's definitely still on my list though, and you'll be one of the first to know when I'm far enough to submit the first chapter.
Since I only have ideas for the first three or four chapters, though, you and other readers might get to make suggestions about what more could happen.