I hate technology · 3:40am Jul 29th, 2013
What kind of gremlins do I attract? Did I punch Skynet in the gonads or something? Is Cleverbot after me because I called him a hermaphrodite?
This was the straw that broke the camel's back. In case you don't know, technology has a massive hate boner for me. Everything I touch, I destroy. I've had two cars die on me within as many years due to broken transmissions. My third and current car has three faulty break cylinders. I've (somehow) crashed my college's shared network drive twice, one of them requiring the guy in charge to reach into his own network and undo my damage. I didn't even know I could do that.
I've killed two of my computer towers. I killed someone else's by (somehow) opening Pandora's box of viruses. By the time my touch of entropy was through, it was more infected then your junk if it was dipped in honey and placed in an anthill in the rain forest.
You know what? I can forgive all that. What I can't forgive is Gremlin Gizmo fucking with my headphones. One with a snapped headband, and one with a severed wire right next to the headpiece. The same thing just happened to my current pair. I'm fresh out of headphones, and it sucks because that's what gets me in the best mood to write.
Screw you, techno gods! Techno Gizmo! Space fairies! Azazoth! YOU SUNNUVA BITCH I'LL KILL YOU! I NEED THOSE THINGS! AAAAARRGGHHHH!!!!
you need to do some rituals, appease the machine spirits and all that. get your techno-cult robes on.
......yeah....same thing here, except with corners of desks, doors, and other sharp edges.
Surprising that no blood has come out of my head with the amount of.....
Nevermind...I'll pass out now.
i both wish and loath your ability to do that.........walk into goverment building......touch main cpu.......everything exlpodes!
And that's why I'm learning to fix cars. You wouldn't believe the labor cost savings.
I feel your pain...
Well, it seems we have our solution if an evil AI takes over.
AI: "I shall kill you all!"
Journey touches it.
AI: "AHHHHHHH! Curses!" *Dies*
Journeyman makes the obligatory declaration he does not actually wish death upon anyone or anything.
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I can do very basic repairs, like the standard breaks, rotors, and miscellaneous stuff, but there's not much I can do to fix a broken head gasket and I don't know how to trace the loss of leaking break fluid.
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Surprisingly enough, I still have the record for most sustained injuries at my old McDonalds job. Yes, I worked there. I used to get about two a week for my first year. No one has beaten me. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
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I wish it would go away. This power is a curse. I would be the lamest supervillain ever anyway.
You know what? I want a cordless headset. Anyone know of any good models?
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Well, I now know who to call and fly over when my computer finally becomes completely sentient.
Ummmmmmmm... Hope it gets better?
lh3.googleusercontent.com/-hMm-XVUGjMA/TnFtnm9TMrI/AAAAAAAAO2A/3ooreZ5INVk/s449/57913%252520-%252520animated%252520applejack%252520awkward.gif
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Why can't I just force lighting what gets in my way like a proper overlord?
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Well, I just ordered some cordless headphones off of Amazon. If they break too, someone is going to get a serious case of red balls.
There is a simple answer as to why you have such problems/powers. Ever since it first started, even before MLP FiM, you were somehow lightly channeling the spirit of Derpy Hooves. Not everything you touch immediately breaks, but enough repeated exposure will cause something to go bad. Or in the case of a sapient AI gone rogue, kaboom. Because we all know that computers with rogue AIs in them explode upon defeat.
I know that feel man, I've been through four sets of headphones this year alone. This is after having one pair of headphones last me three years
Don't let it get to you too much, we all have days with technology that makes us seem like this
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Because I won't let you.
There can only be one ruler of the galaxy, and it MUST BE ME! Only I can save the world from the Zone's expansion! (Ignore me: I'm rambling).
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Since I channel the spirit of entropy then via Derpy's spirit, does that make me a demigod? How do I excise her will from me? Begone, spirit! I'd rather have people draw rule 34 pictures of me than keep killing my tech. At least that way has a happy ending, even if it is by fapping.
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I've got a cordless pair on the way. Hopefully I'll at least stop having these faulty cord problems. This pair and my last had that problem.
Are you by any chance... An Artist?
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Does my unfortunate string of bad luck remind you of someone?
No, I am not. Drawing has always been something I suck at. I fact, I think I might bust out some of my old notebooks and show you all some of my old monster designs. Get ready to laugh, when I find them that is.