Unpublished Files - Part 5 · 4:31am Jul 22nd, 2013
Hellos again everyone! Comic Con was crazy as always but got some neat stuff and saw some fun panels (sadly I didn't make it to the MLP panel nor could I get close to the Hasbro booth to get the toy. But I still had a fun, if somewhat crazy, time).
My schedule for the last five days has consisted of stand in line, sit in panel, buy toys I don't need and sleep for a few minutes before repeating. I didn't have enough time to edit the next chapter of Shadow of the Sun, but I should be able to work on it this week and have it ready this coming Saturday.
However, I figured I would still share something with everyone. So instead of regaling you with tales of Comic Con insanity, I decided to do another unpub.
The story I have for you tonight is a recent one titled "Sunrise" (which is most likely already taken, I didn't check, but it is just a working name anyhow, so roll with it). I've written the whole story to completion, with the vast majority of it done over July 4th weekend, around 100ish pages (15~ chapters). And the last few chapters last, last week.
WARNING SPOILERS: I should probably start every unpub with this tag but I haven't... There is always the extremely small chance this story might get posted someday. If that very unlikely day every happens and you want to be surprised, read no further. Obviously.
The story follows Sunrise (that's all we get about her real name) and her father, who have had to flee from Canterlot. We start the story with them on the run and in hiding. Both of our starting characters are living under assumed names and have dyed their coat and manes a different color.
Sunrise is a unicorn, while her father is a pegasus. The two of them have ended up in Colt Stone, in the snow peaked mountains on the edge of northern Equestria. It is a small village outside the slightly bigger town of Mare Stone, just beyond the edge of the large city of Filly Stone. Not very much happens in the village, it is secluded and small and quiet, just what our ponies on the run need.
They are settling in to their new lives when one night they are visited by guards from the castle who are searching all the houses in town, looking... for them. However, disguised as they are, the guards don't recognize them.
During the conversation with the guards, Sunrise overhears them say they are looking for the daughter of the Queen of Equestria, who has been kidnapped. The guards leave, and Sunrise start to question what really happened, why the had to leave and where her mother went.
However before she can get answers from her father, the guards arrive in force to arrest them and cart them away to Canterlot, after a thrilling action sequence.
(Once again, major spoilers in this next paragraph)
It is at this point in the story we learn some important things: Sunrise's real name (up to this point in the story she has been going by the name Dawnlight) is Sunrise Sparkle and her mother is Twilight Sparkle. (dun, dun, dun). We also learn that she isn't just a unicorn, she's an alicorn, the first born since Cadence (dun, dun, dun!!!)(Although, I have considered just removing Cadence from the story completely and saying the first since Celestia and Luna). And the biggest reveal of all, although I expect you have guessed it at this point is the Queen of Equestria is none other than Nightmare Sparkle (DUN, DUN, DUN!!!!)
After some cold back and forth with her mother -- now twisted by darkness -- Sunrise manages to escape, with the help of the now demoted (for letting her escape the first time) captain of the guard Shining Armor, who teleports her out of the castle.
At this point (about halfway in the story), Sunrise is on her own with the only information that she must find the Elements of Harmony, reunite them and save Equestria. Along the way she meets two daughters of former bares (Applejack and Fluttershy's children) as well as three of the former bares (pinkie, rainbow, rarity).
And you can guess the ending from here I would assume. The hero's unite and win. But with, you know, like 8 chapters worth of text and stuff.
So (that got a little long), why is this an unpub? Well, there are a couple reasons. The first, being the same for why most of my stories don't make it out. I don't have time. While the first draft is done that's only a small part of the work. Editing is where I spend most of my time and that takes me months.
The second reason is that, with the exception of the last few chapters, this story is almost all original characters. I don't know about you guys, but I come to read more about the characters I already like, not about some characters someone else made up. Don't get me wrong, OCs can work when written well (and I think these do work) but only OCs are a turn off for a lot of readers, me included most of the time.
And the third reason is kind of related to the second, Sunrise Sparkle is an alicorn. I tried her both as just unicorn and as an alicorn and ultimately the story (imo) works better with the second. But again, that is a turn off for a lot of readers because its so synonymous with self insert. Even if that isn't my intent.
So, anyhow. I hope you enjoyed this unpub. I wrote this story out of my system so that it won't burn a hole in my brain but it will never make it beyond my computer screen (it's placed below both the sequel to VoT and Twilight Sun in terms of when I would work on it again).
I have a ton more stories that won't ever make it and I'll continue to share them as long as people are interested in hearing about them.
TTFN
~Starwin
I can understand that publishing this would require a lot of work for a story that's much lower priority than your other ones, but these two are not, IMO, good reasons. Fallout: Equestria is one of the most popular ponyfics of all time, and it's almost entirely composed of OCs. And while 99% of alicorn OCs are very badly written, that's no reason why it can't be done well. If Sunrise Sparkle is a believable and engaging character who is also an alicorn, then people would appreciate her all the more for not being another self-insert written by an author who can't spell grammar.
1226830
Again, the biggest reason really is time more than anything else. I can really only do one story at a time so I have to pick what I really want to write. The secondary reasons are certainly lesser, but still applicable.
As both reader and writer across fandoms I've found that people seem to enjoy OCs less than cannon characters. Readers are less inclined to give a story a try if their favorite cast isn't involved. (this is true even with cannon characters that don't show up in a story (no surprise that people who want to read RD stories are less likely to give something with just Pinkie a try)).
Now, that's not to say there aren't exceptions. As with all things exceptional writers can create exceptional characters, OC or otherwise. And those stories can be amazing.
But from my own experience, I have come across very few good stories that focused on OCs. Yes, I know about Fallout Equestria, I've heard great things about it. But, to be honest, the OC cast is a turn off for me. (although it's once again time that really prevents me from reading it)
Maybe 'most readers' is too broad a generalization, but certainly (imo) a good number of reads don't want to read about OCs. No matter how well they are written.
1227930
Eh, fair enough. Don't tell anyone I said this, but Fallout: Equestria isn't always that good in the character department. I was just using it as an example you probably heard of to make a point. And I guess I didn't make it clear enough that not having enough time and having stories you'd rather publish first are totally fine, and I just wanted to complain about the other stuff.
It's true that you probably wouldn't get many readers for an all-OC story, and that's certainly enough to put it at the bottom of the to-maybe-do list.
I see your point about the likely turnoffs in this story, and many readers would probably pass it over; But I have to say that I, for one, would really like to see this.
Time, however, is an unsurmountable problem. Your priorities are your priorities.
For what it's worth, I'm already hooked. Yes, OCs are so often done badly, but based on your previous stories and how well they're characterized, I think you've got more than enough talent to avoid the obvious tropes and Sueification. I'd actually be more concerned about handling the "Nightmare Sparkle" bit with care than the OCs, but your story already gives some hints about how you're handling that.
It's your story, but speaking as someone who almost always ends up disliking non-trivial OCs, I think I'd really love to read this.
In any case, thank you for your previous stories; I've deeply enjoyed them, and I count VoT among the best and most moving I've read.