Jul
7th
2013
I need advice · 4:15am Jul 7th, 2013
I realized earlier tonight that a ton of issues I had been going through were due to a complete lack of self confidence. Even when it came down to the writing.
Maybe its why I canceled KOTD, because I honestly didn't know how good it was because I was so unsure, so I came to rely on user comments. And maybe its why I took it so rough with the ending backlash, because I had come to rely so heavily on user comments that I felt like I had made the biggest mistake when the negative comments came in.
I know it comes from personal experiences, and that I used to be a lot more confident before today. So how does one build up self confidence again?
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Soothing Stone · 310 views
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1) talk to friends, online or in real life.
2) sing and dance to "The Edge of Glory" by Lady Gaga...it's what I do.
On a personal level: I understand the frustration of canceling a story or ending it the way I had not intended. Just set it aside, work on other things and let the story build itself back up in your mind. Even if you go back 6 months later and rewrite it completely (as I did) give yourself some space but keep working on something in the meantime. Maybe another story? Maybe art?
Hope something in there helps.
Booze. Lots and lots of booze.
Help out a friend here guys. He needs it.
I would be lying if I said you should just try to ignore any really bad things that come your way. As someone who's done that in the past a lot, let me just say it is a pretty bad thing to do. Sometimes you shouldn't ignore what's in front of you, but that also doesn't mean you have to listen to it. Distinguish between what is worth listening to, and what isn't. That's why this mess was started in the first place. The cancellation of the story, I mean.
As for self-confidence, there was the whole breaks and taking time to think thing. A few helping supportive words are really a confidence booster. If that has been already tried, well... there's not much else I can say. Hope this helps even a little. It's all I could come up with.
Self confidence is something I lack, as well, and going from personal experience, I tried getting out of my comfort zone. Just to use an example, I tried out for the play in my school, and I had never acted, never sung onstage except for lame chorus. I got a very small part, but parts in a song where I sang all by myself. And I totally loved it. I didn't necessarily become so confident, that I'd jump up and sing karaoke we had one day at school l or something, but boy, the feeling of being on that stage. After that, I could do things a lot easier, like act and sing. All because I did something I had previously never even considered.
Other things? Well, at best, all I can say is talk with friends, people you know. Talking with people not only lifts one's mood, but it helps them feel comfortable. And it doesn't have to be a serious talk. Just go out with friends, have fun, and take your mind off things. Do NOT just ignore any situations at hand or whatever has dragged you down. Ignorance may be bliss, but bliss is not the best thing in the world sometimes, because it will come back to bite... hard. I don't want to sound cruel and sad, but that's just how it is. Try to figure out what you can fix and what you can do about these things and work with them first. Everything else can be done other times, when you're ready and only then.
This is my advice to you. I never really saw how much it can affect something like this. While I rarely ever felt influenced by comments, I still know the feeling of lacking self confidence, so this is going from one person with the problem to another who needs advice badly.
You have people here for you, and we're more than willing to help.
Tea, party, and good friends
God, I am sorry but I have to say this.
The best way to build up confidence is,
THROUGH THE MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP!
Please I know it sounds silly but I mean think about it.
Taking some time for yourself is a good start. Go play a game you enjoy, go grab some pizza with some friends, go enjoy a book or a movie...
I have always found that things that break down ones confidence, tend to return you to a higher level of confidence after you have started to get over them.
It takes time, and distractions to keep your mind off of it. But once it's passing you start to feel better, and you feel genuinely more confident.
However a good quick way to confidence, is wearing something that makes you feel powerful, like a suit. Always works for me at least.
Linkin Park. If they're no good, then The Offspring. It's how I get my confidence back.
1193498 "advise" is a verb and you're using it like "advice" the noun.
Yoda
Trying is just a way of saying if I can't do this. There is no try, you have to choose. Must I do this? Or must I not do this?
there is no try keep that in mind.
I've been there before... losing confidence in my stories. But I can only tell you that, for instance, Kiss of the Dark took more creativity than I have, and anything I could write with a similar theme would pale in comparison - and believe me, I'd certainly like to write some Sombra and Twilight stuffz.
Ultimately, confidence comes from within. You just have to... well, believe in yourself, and in your writing. But what matters most is that your writing pleases you. For myself, I have the opinion that if but one person enjoys my work, then it was worth writing.
Addendum - "The only failure is surrender."
Um, you could always watch MLP to boost morale, talk with friends, like everyone says, and start your day with a BIG smile on your face!
~
Basically, you should focus on your more positive aspects and replace the darker thoughts you have of yourself.
You can't instantly change who you are and you won't be able to change who you are either if you focus on the negative side of you, but if you focus on the positive side of you, then you will be able to improve it little by little, day by day.
That's as much as I've come to learn from my experiences with self-confidence, focus on your positive and work your way up from there.